Day 0
BH haven't acted out again since this morning, but still feeling a desire to. The clocks go back tonight, so need to get an early night, but could easily see myself staying up and acting out again.
This is me back at my worst. Unable to go beyond 2 weeks clean. I've not recovered since I went 68 days clean a few months ago (Fell on Jan 26th, 13th of Shvat). Yes I get a few days clean here and there, but lemaaseh I know this is my dark place, the rut I'm stuck in. I feel like these days count for nothing, its just going from one fall to the next, and I'm starting to hate it. I don't get out the starting blocks before failing again, time and time again. Why am I starting this year's yetzias mitzraim back on the 49th level of tumah?