Day 51
Clean over shabbos BH. Still fantasising on somewhat of a regular basis, but had a victory over shabbos where I avoided a second glance

Looking_to_improve wrote on 05 Jun 2021 19:59:

Good to hear! 

If I ever need a suit of armor I'm making it out of your determination. 

Seriously doing incredible keep it up!

At least for me what has and does work for fantasizing is to just accept that your fantasizing and then kinda "space out" and not really focus on it and then switch to thinking of something else. Hard to describe it but kind of like that. After a while doing that it has become easier and easier

Day 52
Clean bH, albeit with some fantasising (again) before my nap this afternoon

Day 53
clean bH, more of the same today

Looking_to_improve wrote on 07 Jun 2021 20:36:

I'm assuming that by "more of the same" you mean, more fantasizing.

Don't do it. It feels pleasurable in the moment but all it does is increase your desire and cause the fight to be more intense and more frequent. Just let the thoughts be, and calmly move on with whatever you were doing.

Day 54
Clean today bH but a similar situation with fantasies.

600 cumulative clean days today, very grateful to HKB"H that I'm holding in a much better place than when I was at 500 cumulative days (when I began this thread). Over half the clean days since then, have been on my current streak, whereas when I got to 500 days, I was acting out every few days and wasn't in control of myself. 
The biggest change since then has been changing to gentech. I fell a few times while I was still finding the correct settings for myself, (although not between the time when I removed my old filter to when I downloaded gentech) but now I think it seems to be set up well. I don't really know if I've changed myself very much, I have a feeling I would still watch porn if I had the opportunity, but I think every clean day is taking me one step away from the garbage, and I'm growing towards where I should be and where I'm capable of being.

How would you recommend that I maximise this period where I'm clean and don't have any access, and make it lasting, even to times when my situation is less ideal?

Day 55 
Clean bH 
Still thinking about fantasies when I lie down to nap in the afternoon. Its hard to replace with something else, because there's very little effort in thinking about them when I'm half asleep. Most distractions would be keeping me up

Fantasies while lying down is a great place to be. Obviously better not to have them but hard to control when your mind is trying to relax. Do what you can to ignore the thoughts and move on but at least in my experience the longer you stay clean from looking at things and acting out the less often you will think of fantasies, or it will become easier to move on from the thoughts.

You can also try daydreaming about random things that you would like to do. Here is a list of stuff I daydream about.

1. Horseback riding
2. Waterskiing
3. Snow skiing
4. Swimming
5. Hiking
6. Camping
7. Grilling
8. Workout programs
9. Being a hero
10. Saving the world
11. Being a firefighter
12. Giving a fiery mussar shmooze
13. What I would say in it
14. My dream house
15. My dream car
16. Driving my dream car to my dream house
17. Dream dinner
18. What I want to do on my next vacation
19. Having a cigarette (or pipe or a beer or whatever works for you) while it's snowing.
20. Ice skating in the snow
21. Sailing
22. grilling on the water
23. Surfing
24. kitesurfing

Dream big my friend! 

I noticed you wrote that you feel you need a "Reset"...

Beware of the "Nuclear Reset" button that Dov always speaks about. (i.e. that we tend to give in under the pretext that we just need a reset, and then we'll start again fresh. That's garbage, because that's what keeps us in the cycle forever.

The best RESET, believe it or not, is simply to hold on through the tough times and not give in. That RESETS our brain over time. Not as fast as the Nuclear Reset, which allows us to suddenly "cry crocodile tears to Hashem" again about how we want to get up and do Teshuvah, but a REAL reset that LASTS.

wilnevergiveup wrote on 10 Jun 2021 08:44:

This is great 

the.guard wrote on 10 Jun 2021 10:45:

If you act out to "reset" as the "last time" you might do fine until you hit another difficult period and then you need to "reset" again and you will always be locked in the struggle

Day 56
8 weeks clean bH
Thanks for the list WNGU, definitely some good things to think about

Today was a bit better on the fantasy front, I managed to divert my mind to something else after thinking about it for a short time

Day 57
Clean bH. 

Have a great shabbos everyone