Thank you all for the ideas! to be honest I might just take a shot everytime I’m matsliach with overcoming my urges lol.

Be careful! You might get a little tipsy!

Haha. I’ll be careful

Ish MiGrodno wrote on 17 Feb 2021 04:49:

Along these lines, in my case, I found that I would just rather the pleasure of acting out more than pizza or anything else that I was able to afford. 

But I think we are mixing up two separate ideas here. One is using a reward as the incentive which can be ineffective for many of us. The second is using reward in conjunction with a proper deterrent in order to fully acknowledge our strengths and wins instead of only focusing on our shortcomings. For the second one, rewarding oneself is very effective.

All the best,
Wilnevergiveup

Baruch HaShem for 7 days clean! 

100% right Lou. The system has it cons, but doesn't everything? You just have to figure out which cons you can deal with. 

wilnevergiveup wrote on 17 Feb 2021 12:49:

Hey so I felt like posting on here now cuz I’m not doing so well. BH I haven’t fallen but I’ve become very demotivated lately. I’ve been having a lot of second thoughts these last few days with my y”h saying things like “Is it really so bad to give in to your urges? What’s the worst that will happen?” And honestly, I can’t really give an answer to these questions either. I mean I know what the Seforim Hakadoshim say about acting out but the y”h is also a clever little bastard lol. 

Additionally, I had installed filters on my devices and the one on my phone works but the one on my laptop isn’t. The customer support hotline for the filter company won’t even work when I call them so I don’t know what to do. Haven’t looked up shmutz on the computer but was wasting my time watching movies and shows instead which usually inevitably lead to me acting out. 

Also been struggling with lethargy and depression these past couple of days and haven’t been productive at all really. 

TL;DR: basically the struggles of an average teenager in modern society. Anything helps G-d bless. 

Something great to do now is to think and write down the pros/cons of acting out and how you feel now vs how you will feel after.

We know acting out will just make things worse.

Maybe try to connect with a friend or family member at times like this. You can talk about anything..it will strengthen your relationships and help you get back on your feet.

Keep the inspiration coming!
One day at a time!

Thanks for the eitzah! I realized one of the cons was especially with purim coming up I don't wanna be even more depressed on such a simchadik day so Bez"H gonna try to make it without falling until at least after the chag.

Perfect! Having a goal like that can help break up the challenge into smaller pieces. Instead of just thinking "Im going to be clean for 90 days" it helps to take things 1 day at a time, or a few days at a time, like you're doing now

BH for 14 days sober! Y'all weren't lying when you said it gets hard around now. If the definition of a nes is something that defies the natural course of nature, then I'm pretty sure this lil feat would qualify.

Boy, does it get hard! It isn't only at day 14, for the rest of your life while being clean, there will be days where it will feel like you are invading the beaches at Normandy alone. But at the same time there are moments of such clarity that everything is worth it. Ther will be those mornings when you wake up clean after having fought a battle for few days, and your heart will be singing, and you will feel that everything was 100% worth it.

Live for those moments, and with those moments. Know that they will arrive, I promise.

Grant400 wrote on 24 Feb 2021 16:37:

You are so right. Especially being able to daven with true kavana knowing and feeling that Hashem gave me the strength to overcome the nisayon. When im able to go into davening with the clear conscious that even tho it felt like I was invading normandy alone but I overcame it- that's definitely one of those moments of clarity.  

Shavua tov! Hope you all had an awesome purim and Shabbos! Felt like venting a little bit tonight.

Basically I took my phone to get a screen replacement erev Shabbos hoping it would get fixed over Shabbos. That 1 hour from when I left the shop until I got to shul was one of the most stressful hours of my life.

It's ridiculous how much I've come to rely on having a phone. I almost got lost trying to find my friend's house to bring shalach manos. Then I went to pick up my sister for a purim party and she disappeared from her apartment and of course I couldn't text her. Even though these were simple things I was lacking like GPS and text messages, I still think its kinda sad how stressful it was for me not having a phone. Not only that, motzei Shabbos I went to pick it up and the store was closed. Put me in a bad mood even tho I just had an amazing, uplifting Shabbos.

Coming to the realization that technology has much more control over me than I have over it. It's mamish the avodah zara of our times.