Day 5, so far so clean. It is difficult for me though, I have many temptations. Working hard to guard my eyes. When I pass shops with lingerie where I know there are big photos of scantily-clad women I turn my head away out of habit. I guess that's good. I'm trying to keep it up. I know the first weeks are the hardest, so my plan is to stay clean at least for a few days, to prevent binge spiral. My current goal is 7 days. ~30 hours left.

So I had rough two weeks. I've fallen many times. As usual, I made some bad rookie mistake of staying late alone on my mobile / pc. That's >95% of times when I fall, so no surprises here. I should have been smarter. 
I needed some time to get into that routine of turning the device off again. Also I've listened to another episode of "The Fight", that one about the diamond with a flaw. Great encouragement, helped me a lot to stay positive, keep proper perspective and not beat myself about falling. Once again, I strongly recommend that.
Thankfully now I'm 5 days clean, so it feels that I started again. Next goal is same as last time - 7 days.

Testero wrote on 10 Feb 2021 16:59:

How about installing a STRONG filter on your device?

Thanks for the tip. I tried several filters a few years ago, but eventually I always found a way around them (I'm pretty good with computers), so I abandoned that idea. Perhaps it's a good time to reconsider it and see what options are available now. Is there anything good you recommend for android?

14 days! Zero peeks. That's a top 3 result in 6 months already! I feel great, hopeful and thankful. Pressing on!

Wow. Kol hakavod! 
just a suggestion if you’re falling due to access on your device: maybe you can try out a knas based accountability program. I don’t know too much ab it but there’s no filter; instead it keeps track of your internet browsing through reports. At the end of the week or month or something, a partner can look at these reports. If you were kosher, then all’s good but if you intentionally look up something you’re not supposed to, you will have to pay a knas (at least $100). Also not 100 percent sure this works on phones but I think it should on computers.

hope this helps! B’hatzlacha and may you continue to only set new records for yourself!

That's a great idea, brother! Thanks, I was thinking about somethingike that. I will check it out.

I had a good 22 days long streak. I wanted to post on forum many times, but naver had an opportunity. During that time I had many temptations but (thank G-d) I did not slip even a little bit. Then I had a fall and three days later I fell again .
So here I am at 0 days clean, starting again... 

Testero wrote on 05 Mar 2021 11:44:

Sorry to hear that, but if being clean is important to you, make time to post.

Testro,

Falling is hard but we can take the
opportunity and think where we fall short and what to do next time around.
It seems posting works for you so stick with it...if that is too hard maybe get a partner and be in touch with him that way your held accountable

Testero wrote on 05 Mar 2021 11:44:

Dear Testero,
You are a legend, a fighter and a real soldier in the army of Hashem.
This may not apply to you, but If you could please fix your filter. Techloq is amazing, and I could get you in touch with someone who could help you.
Also if you ever find me on chat please reach out.
You could also add me to your gmail chat I will chat with you. You could also PM me for more support.
There is HHM, Dov and many other chosuve people to speak to.
You are not in this alone. You are a gibor and a real man for telling us your struggles. DOn't give up your brothers are here for you.We are not giving up. Dont feel despair. 

Stand up look in the mirror and say I can do it. Do 10 push ups every morning and say today will be better.

I am not a personal trainer. But you can do it and you will.

Eyes

Brothers - thank you very much for your replies. It always means a lot to me. Grant400 - you are 100% right. I need to and I will make time.

I've been clean for 48 hours now, but... damn, that's been really difficult 48 hours. I'm tempted very hard, literally all the time. Vivid images of recent falls keep bombarding my mind. Wave after wave. I feel really exhausted of resisting every time, of this constant mental fight.

A good moment came, I had some time, so before giving in I decided to just tell G-d about it. Straight as it is. I simply kneeled down and just talked to Him. I said that I really don't want to fall, I refuse to go that path, I know very well that it leads only to pain, suffering, destruction of good things in my life and self loathing. But at the same time I feel that I'm about to fall. I said that I'm tired and don't think I can hold on much longer.

To be honest I didn't have high hopes, but I have to say that G-d really helped me. Almost instantly he gave me strength and hope, it came like a gentle warmth, or a breeze on my soul. I simply raised my head, stood up from my knees, and I knew that I'm not giving up just yet. Maybe in a few days, maybe in a few hours. But not just know. I'm going to keep fighting, at least for a little bit longer. 

After that I logged in to GYE, read some great recent posts, then found all your replies to my thread and it helped me even more. I feel much stronger. It feels that I'm waking that fierce warrior in me again, feeling that fire that burning up in me. And it feels good! May G-d be blessed, and all of you who fight and help others!

I'm pressing on!

Just wow!
What a way to enter into a new week!

I think many will definitely benefit from your post.

Testero wrote on 06 Mar 2021 18:38:

What a post.
What a poster.
You are an inspiration to me, probably for all of us.

Day 4. Tough and demanding one, but I'm totally clean. I feel confident and motivated, but I know from autopsy, how it all can disappear like a morning fog. I'm seriosuly considering strong filters for my mobile and did some reading in the subject. Thank you @eyes for your support and kind offer. I will remember about it.