Bravo!

I hate supermarkets, especially Jewish ones. 
If there is someone dressed tznius that is attractive then I can do what HHM suggests - she's someone's wife, mother, sister. A person with bills to pay and her own problems. I hope she has a nice day and a good Shabbos. But someone who dresses provocatively I cannot. I despise you because you put me through Hell.
Had to get those thoughts out.....

BHYY wrote on 19 Feb 2021 20:30:

I totally relate to that. I cant stand those 'frum' women that dress that way. Sometimes I want to yell at them 'what are you doing?! Why are you making it so hard for us?'
Personally I get turned on quicker from the frum women that dress like that, than the non jewish women even those who are only partially dressed.

happyyid wrote on 21 Feb 2021 03:26:

Yes...it's a huge trigger for me.

I had MASSIVE urges Motzei Shabbos...just wanted to masturbate. Porn also. I couldn't shake the feeling. Even the logical "you'll feel worse in the long run" wasn't working. In my mind, nu so you'll feel lousy but then this streak will be broken so you'll be able to do it again, and again, and again. Won't that be great?? Somehow, it still just wasn't an option for me to fall. I gave it everything I had and persevered through. 
I'm spent. My body realized that I'm not giving in and threw a full on bout of withdrawal to me. My head feels like it stuffed with cotton. I feel like I can't move. Time for bed. I should be jumping for joy with happiness and proud of myself but I just feel the withdrawal. Oh well. At least I identified the feelings and know that they are just that, feelings. 
It's so hard and so painful and yet I know it is something I must do. I have to go through this if I am going to have a geshmak life.

BHYY wrote on 21 Feb 2021 04:08:

Hey, so I was contemplating being nichshal now...
I see u overcame it so fine, I won’t give in either.
Gn bud

YeshivaGuy wrote on 21 Feb 2021 04:13:

Now there's something worth jumping for joy 

Urges...want to act out...want to watch porn.
When I say no the depression sets in...
That's life. The YH never stops. Gotta stay strong.
Have a productive day all!

BHYY wrote on 21 Feb 2021 04:19:

Lol I often feel like that. If I get someone else to do something good it feels like I actually did something good, but if I do something good myself it's much harder to feel good about it. (Has to do with an attitude I developed when younger in yeshiva. I have been working for years on curing myself and have met slow but good progress BH.)
Last night you were overwhelmed after your exertion to overcome your yetzer hora, but today you can look back and say "wow! I can't believe what I was able to do with Hashem's help!"

It’s not always that the news helps depression but I saw this article and immediately felt better. 
https://www.theyeshivaworld.com/news/featured/1949808/kiddush-hashem-rockland-chaveirim-warm-up-firefighters-at-massive-monsey-fire-videos-photos.html
I am so proud to be a yid. To be part of the same nation of givers as these volunteers. That story made me feel warm and happy. 
I feel so bad for the owner of the store but I hope he can get through the next few months and hopefully get a big insurance check to build a bigger and better store. 

I feel so lousy.
I mean, I feel great that I'm still clean but it's really getting to me. I keep feeling like I'm getting over the flu. Lightheaded, no energy, just wanting to masturbate or watch porn.
Does this go away at some point?

גם זה יעבור

until then don’t let your guard down...

BHYY wrote on 21 Feb 2021 22:42:

The Chinuch writes that if you shut your eyes not to see evil once, it will make it easier to do so many more times. If we restrain ourselves now, we will rejoice in our lot forever after. The yetzer hara towers like a mountain. But as soon as we kick some of the old habits, the road ahead is surprisingly smoother, and all it takes is a slight but continuous input to keep us in the driver's seat.

I went out to a restaurant tonight and there were a few young couples there. In the past I’d probably lust at the pretty wives and then feel depressed that I’m still single. 
Tonight I flexed those willpower muscles that I’ve been working out lately and kept my eyes to myself. I feel great. People’s spouses are people, not eye candy. I’m so glad I was able to practice that tonight. My time will come to be a young couple bez”H soon. And she will be the only one I need to look at. 

Ur really amazing man. I’m not kiddin around or “cheerleading.”
I mean it.

Keep being mekadesh sheim shamayim buddy