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90 and counting...
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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!
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TOPIC: 90 and counting... 893 Views

90 and counting... 31 Jul 2019 08:48 #342616

  • Gates
  • Current streak: 291 days
  • Fresh Boarder
  • Posts: 3
  • Karma: 0
Hi - I am a, for lack of a better word,  "casual" traveler through the world of GYE. I only posted one other time, and I check in every few days to read other people's posts and articles, get some chizuk, and update my 90 day count. Well, imagine my surprise when I updated today and found myself at 93! Looks like I made it - at least the first hurdle.

So what am I doing differently this time as opposed to before? Here's a partial list:

1) Full disclosure - in a way,  I "cheated". I had a fairly serious operation about halfway through, so for a chunk of about a month plus, fighting the yetzer hara was really easy. Not a method I'd recommend, but you use the weapons at your disposal. (Yes, B"H, I'm feeling a lot better.)

2) Every day I wake up and say,  "Maybe I'll give in in a month, or next week, or the day after tomorrow, but not today." And I follow through. And I say the same thing the next morning, and the morning after, and the morning after, etc etc. That "one day at a time" thing really works. 

3) I put a really, annoyingly strong filter on my phone. I've already had to "whitelist" some of the most innocent websites imaginable just to do my job, but it's worth it. And it's really too much trouble, not to mention embarrassing, to make a special phone call to whitelist evil websites. Sometimes shame and laziness work well together. 

4) Remember the medrash where Yosef was about to cheat with Potiphar's wife, but he visualized his father's face? When faced with temptation I do something similar,  except the face I visualize is my wife's. Works wonders.

5) Distraction is key. I'll pick up a sefer, take care of something that needs taking care of, make a phone call, read a good book.  Anything but "that".

6) When it comes to seeing young ladies (some not so young) in the street dressed inappropriately,  one of my phone advisors had a great idea. Daven to Hashem that the young lady should have a nice day. For me, having a conversation with the Almighty is about the best way to change that particular topic. 

7) Finally, the chizuk I get from the chevre here is immeasurable. Even though I'm not on every day, just knowing that I'm not alone, that there are other Yidden who are going through the same issues, is beyond amazing. It gives me the reassurance that I'm not a bad person, that I'm not "broken", and that there's hope. And the practical advice available on this site is priceless. Thank you all.

Anyway, I'm forging on, one day at a time. Wish me hatzlacha, rabosai.

Re: 90 and counting... 31 Jul 2019 11:35 #342618

  • gye5770
  • Current streak: 139 days
  • Senior Boarder
  • Posts: 42
  • Karma: 1
Thats great to hear. Keep going strong and dont let lose thinking i am all healed because that is when he hits you hard. But if you keep going one day at a time and keep it serious - you can only win.

Re: 90 and counting... 31 Jul 2019 21:32 #342629

  • Markz
  • Current streak: 89 days
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Posts: 7251
  • Karma: 359
To me personally, one of the great tools of gye is the realization that we are all in this struggle together. 
That alone takes the fight out of the struggle. 

The more we can share together the better. 

Only 1 guy replied to you!
But 7 guys clicked thank you
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!

This is why I believe gye should have an automated email whenever thank you is clicked, that the writer of the post gets notification
“Teshuva613 thanked you for your post”
At least on the 1st few posts someone writes
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