Dov wrote on 28 Aug 2018 17:06:

I don't have an advisor either.

I didn't think this was such a big deal. I was just saying that sometimes your ideas are judged by people who are not qualified to evaluate them. I certainly don't think they are bad people in any way.

My karma hit -5. My advisor in college used to say that insults from certain people are a sign of distinction.

mzl wrote on 28 Aug 2018 17:52:

Hang on...reality check here. You wrote that your college advisor suggested that. Let's stick with the story line here, please. And nobody made 'a big deal' about anything, it was just an observation and possibly a little opportunity to learn something, that's all.

You wrote that your college advisor suggested that instead of feeling sad about criticism, one can just assume his or her detractors are low-quality people...so their criticism is actually flattery! 

That's why I wrote what I did, above. Your advisor has a very good point...but here on GYE you don't know who anyone really is anyhow, and don't even no which parties are messing with your karma. So in this case I am suggesting that your advisor's advice  just a 'sour grapes' consolation based on cynicism. Cynicism is dumb, and also a poor way to get through life, too. 

​I dont think this is a big deal. I just took the time to spell it out a little more clearly now and if you find it useful, all the better. If not, it's again, no big deal.

mikestruggling wrote on 27 Aug 2018 11:02:
mzl wrote on 27 Aug 2018 09:52:
mikestruggling wrote on 27 Aug 2018 04:27:me: yyou may be right (I'm too depressed to admit it straight up) last night I dreamt about my mother she was being unfair. Today, I woke up with feelings of anger at my mother. At first, I was projecting it at my wife so I cleaned up the living room (taking the actions of love).  I will iyh call my therapist today
you: So in that case you would look for distortions in your expectations of your mother. Why do you think she was being "unfair"? You might be right, or you might be a little off in your perception.

I think you are saying that you were taking it out on your wife. That's interesting.
me: wwow! now I'm a little irritated at you. did you read the first post on this thread. I don't think any human being deserves to be treated the way I was treated. not even animals. my mother used to beat me for doing things she perceived as chutzpah. and I mean beat not just two slaps.
I suffer fr the fact that deep down,I think it was fair and I deserve it because I am worthless. now through therapy I'm allowing myself to feel the anger. Because I don't deserve it I'm not a shmatte. I'm a human being child of Hashem and I'm a good person.
I didn't say i was taking it out on my wife. I was projecting it at my wife. big difference. which was why I cleaned the room to take the actions of love so that I don't take it out on my wife.
please read what i wrote
you: Ok. So you should before I reply to someone I should read everything. But 99% of people's posts don't contain any information other than "I'm still here, still struggling." So now you know where I'm coming from.
At any rate I'll get out of your way because you sound angry and you are not really explaining


For the record I only lowered your karma once. However someone who can stick a knife into an open wound (arguably by mistake but highly negligent) and turn it, misread a post and turn a victory into a failure and still not apologize just make excuses and claim like the other person is at fault for being angry and not explaining it (really?) what do you expect?

Day 88