Wow! This is awesome! Rooting for you!

Day 77

Day 79

Day 80

Day 81

My karma hit -5. My advisor in college used to say that insults from certain people are a sign of distinction.

mzl wrote on 19 Jun 2018 09:48:

II am impressed that you're on day 81; that's very nice and inspirational to others.

Still playin' the guitar?
How's it goin' with the wife? Any improvement?

Are there specific tools you are usin' to stay sober?

Godspeed to you!

cordnoy wrote on 28 Aug 2018 12:49:

Thanks.

Nope, I've been working on the house. I am going back to it eventually.

My wife has been very happy with me recently because a few weeks ago I decided that in order to be happy she needs to see doing chores, taking the kid to the bathroom, taking care of supper, while she contemplates how hard it would be to her. I can tell that she's grateful that I bail her out. I don't think we are an example for others to follow, but she's weird and I'm weird, so the right arrangement is a weird solution.

Yes there are a few tools that I use. The main tool is a behavior I use to make irresistible desires become resistible. Other tools I use to catch things like false hopes (I think you know what those are.) It's quite a list, but to me it seems short and unremarkable.

The forum I think provides the motivation to use the tools without interruption.

Godspeed.

mzl wrote on 28 Aug 2018 12:20:

Dont pay any attention to karma. In an anonymous forum anyone can push the minus (or plus) sign with no accountability for his action. It means nothing. Everyone should appreciate that you take the time to read what others write and actually comment. That being said, if any of us pick up that other sane members of the forum take issue with what we write or how it is written, we should accomodate their concerns.

Hashem Help Me wrote on 28 Aug 2018 15:21:

Agreed. As long as the concerns are expressed somewhere ...

mzl wrote on 28 Aug 2018 12:20:

I'm grateful that I don't need to assume negative things about others to console myself when they don't like me. I agree with your advisor that it may be a useful tool sometimes, but I'm just saying I'm glad I don't need to put anyone else down in order to see my own value.

Regarding your negative karma, I remember what Chaza"l taught us: "Honor chases those who don't need it... And runs from those who seek it." Wise words. So I feel that if you stop paying any attention to it, things will turn around quite favorably. And if you don't even look over your shoulder to see if it's following you, things will remain favorable...

Dov wrote on 28 Aug 2018 16:15:

I don't have a coach. It comes natural. And pretty much on target.

Woops, meant advisor. Corrected my mistake, thx man.

Dov wrote on 28 Aug 2018 17:06:

I don't have an advisor either.

I didn't think this was such a big deal. I was just saying that sometimes your ideas are judged by people who are not qualified to evaluate them. I certainly don't think they are bad people in any way.

mikestruggling wrote on 27 Aug 2018 11:02:
mzl wrote on 27 Aug 2018 09:52:
mikestruggling wrote on 27 Aug 2018 04:27:me: yyou may be right (I'm too depressed to admit it straight up) last night I dreamt about my mother she was being unfair. Today, I woke up with feelings of anger at my mother. At first, I was projecting it at my wife so I cleaned up the living room (taking the actions of love).  I will iyh call my therapist today
you: So in that case you would look for distortions in your expectations of your mother. Why do you think she was being "unfair"? You might be right, or you might be a little off in your perception.

I think you are saying that you were taking it out on your wife. That's interesting.
me: wwow! now I'm a little irritated at you. did you read the first post on this thread. I don't think any human being deserves to be treated the way I was treated. not even animals. my mother used to beat me for doing things she perceived as chutzpah. and I mean beat not just two slaps.
I suffer fr the fact that deep down,I think it was fair and I deserve it because I am worthless. now through therapy I'm allowing myself to feel the anger. Because I don't deserve it I'm not a shmatte. I'm a human being child of Hashem and I'm a good person.
I didn't say i was taking it out on my wife. I was projecting it at my wife. big difference. which was why I cleaned the room to take the actions of love so that I don't take it out on my wife.
please read what i wrote
you: Ok. So you should before I reply to someone I should read everything. But 99% of people's posts don't contain any information other than "I'm still here, still struggling." So now you know where I'm coming from.
At any rate I'll get out of your way because you sound angry and you are not really explaining


For the record I only lowered your karma once. However someone who can stick a knife into an open wound (arguably by mistake but highly negligent) and turn it, misread a post and turn a victory into a failure and still not apologize just make excuses and claim like the other person is at fault for being angry and not explaining it (really?) what do you expect?