OMG so scared to walk into the room BH it was quite good. So proud of myself for facing my fear head on and overcoming it. THANK YOU HASHEM!!! 

Gettinghelp2 wrote on 10 Apr 2018 17:30:


That's true gevurah!! Inspirational!
Thanks for sharing! 

WoWoWoWoWoW!!!!
Chaak Vamutz!!! keep it up! i dont have this Gevurah.....
Thanks for sharing.. 

It's so funny how I'm first now starting to see and feel what true emunah is all about.  I'm still stuck with totally letting go and letting GD but when I can manage a few brief minutes of it , it feels really great. I want to be that person not feel like that person. I'm trying to let go in every stressful situation. It's a work in progress but I'm actually having a bit of fun with the new (old) way of living. Leaving everything to HASHEM sounds so simple,but boy is it  hard.  BH today the level of stress and anxiety decreased. 

Bh second meeting today.Wow feel relieved that HASHEM sent me here and there(meetings) .There is actually help and solutions coming my way.Already experienced a few big plain as day open miracles,BH BH BH !!!!!!

Shivisi_Hashem wrote on 10 Apr 2018 20:04:

Neither do I... 

After attending a Yom Hashoa program and seeing the loving way my wife and children are preparing for Shabbos while I'm daveing Mario, I'm filled with such overwhelming live and gratitude to HASHEM for my life.  Literally had tears of joy which I was  davening.  

BH made it thru today. Was completely exhausted mentally and physically from fighting the urge to act out. 
BH I thank my spongiform his tremendous support. 
Im truly blessed in all ways. 

Im so blown away that me. arum guys has so much trouble trusting in HASHEM to take away the lust and help in in every area of my life.What a eye opening experience getting well is. LOVE IT !!!!!
​Just need to keep working at ,sounds si male,but so hard for me to let go and let GD.
​I know that HASHEM is in charge 100% just haver. a lot of trouble believing in my heart.

Shavua tov friends!! I realized over Shabbos that the yetza hara will simply use everything possible to derail me from recovery. The extent of my nervousness and anxiety was at an incrediblely high level. I had to repeatedly ask HASHEM to take away the lust and make my desire is desire and my will his will. It was exhausting but it worked. The side of evil and darkness will never stop us !!! As long as well keep with the program!! I wonder if we could study people's lives who stick with the program and those who don't, how each live would look. I bet the difference is frightening. So no matter how much anxiety and fear and nervousness I feel I'm fighting like crazy to beg and plead with my Creator to take away the lust and fix me and help stay on the road to recovery.  I'll beg and pleas with HASHEM to help me let go and let GD. If i if I can't completely surrender my will to HASHEM at least I know I should. That's a start in the right direction. 
So im willing to put up with the emotional ( physical too) pain and suffering to go from darkness until light,slavery to freedom. To me it's so worth it. Thank you HASHEM!!!!!!!!

Thank GD for GYE !! I was feeling very jumpy and really wanted to act out this morning. BH I learned to take the proper action. I called my sponsor first, no answer, called 2 other people for help, no aswer1 OMG what is HASHEM doing to me. OH yes ,go on GYE ,read inspirational material, read the big book. Yes it worked BH! than my sponsor called and we had a really helpful and meaningful talk. This proof that the program works if you work. I feel so much better with a much more relaxed and focused attitude.

Shavua Tov everyone. BH Shabbos was quite pleasant. Over the last week I've made some real hard but good changes,emotionally and spiritually. The biggest ,with the help of my sponsor,BH, was learning how to meditate and relax while connecting to HASHEM.  It is a work in progress but helps me tremendously.  Every time I get a bout of anxiety or nervousness I use it. I think my yetza hara us trying to stop me from making any progress so it uses my emotions to scr..... With me.  It doesn't fight far and it hits below the belt,no pun intended. It's viscios and mean spirited too. BH I'm acquiring the cops skills to deal with theses raw emotions. So everything I have one of these bouts it's my very own customer tailored reminder from HASHEM to let go and let GD.  I found myself saying this and thinking several times and it works for me.  The anxiety and nervousness goes away or decreases substantially almost every time I deploy this tactic. I say to myself and really meditate on letting go and letting GD.  I in vision myself sure ding to GD in mind body and soul. I have to do it repeatedly but I'm getting so much more comfortable and relaxed in knowing the fact the only HASHEM can help me.  It actually is quite liberating to turn over my control and responsibility for overcoming my last to HASHEM. Rather than me trying unsuccessfully to overcome it I'm relying on HASHEM to actually take it away. 

BH today is 22 days!!  learned that fear is definately a major issue I need to work thru.it's so constricting. 

BH almost done with day 26 = YKVK   It's Pesach  Shani so I kinda get the message. Just having some pants of anxiety about the coming week. I know that in order for HASHEM to remove lust ,fear and other negative things from my life I need to take the appropriate actions. If I want HASHEM to to this I need to do it too. It's like a lift went off in my life and a cloud of darkness has been lifted. All I need to do is keep taking the right action. It's a constant in my life now. I keep asking HASHEM for his help in this and it's actually working. One day at a time is how I'm approaching life now. 

Gettinghelp2 wrote on 29 Apr 2018 21:27:

Keep dem pants on and you won't need to worry about pants of anxiety.

God speed