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I'm new here! Hoping someone has some advice

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TOPIC: I'm new here! Hoping someone has some advice 2610 Views

I'm new here! Hoping someone has some advice 24 Jan 2018 02:52 #325897

Hopeful108 OFFLINE Fresh Boarder Posts: 3 Karma: 1	1
	Last Edit: 04 Mar 2018 21:36 by Hopeful108.

Re: I'm new here! Hoping someone has some advice 24 Jan 2018 03:12 #325899

Markz OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 8285 Karma: 427	Welcome I was acting out between dating and marriage, so it's a perfect time to start recovery. Keep On Trucking!!
	My Story---------Dov Quotes *FREE LUST TRUCK TOWING* *Click HERE to checkout;* • 100 Day Success Stories: cordnoy, Dov, Gevura and more... • Awesome Threads Saved for You • Cast Your Vote ➣ GYE Plenty Solutions ➣ The Mark of Torah - Lust Chizuk ➣ Nice Trucking Story

Re: I'm new here! Hoping someone has some advice 24 Jan 2018 04:32 #325904

Hashem Help Me Current streak: 2918 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 4073	Welcome. You will iyh be fine. Its most important to focus on recovery, staying away from pornography no matter what , and ignore the flatline issue. Iyh when you get married, everything will function properly. Being concerned about this is very normal, but again try to not focus on that issue at all at this point.
	Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: I'm new here! Hoping someone has some advice 24 Jan 2018 14:06 #325916

Singularity
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Hopeful108 wrote on 24 Jan 2018 02:52:

My question is as follows. While this may have not been entirely advisable, I have been involved in dating, even while I was involved in destructive behaviors. Recently I met a wonderful frum quality girl, and I'm really starting to think this might be the one. The reason I am nervous, is because I have been experiencing the "flatline" effect. While I am confident that I will never watch porn or masturbate again, especially now that I feel like I have something to fight for, it still takes time to get out of the flatline. I am really afraid that should this relationship work out, I will not be ready in time. Of course it would have been better to pause dating life while recovering, but obviously it's too late for that.

Has anyone else been in such a situation? Any insight would be very much appreciated.

Your attitude reflects your username. What makes you so confident? Do we have different definitions of the word "never"? Remember, never is a long time. Long, long time. What are you doing to ensure this?

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Re: I'm new here! Hoping someone has some advice 24 Jan 2018 22:34 #325938

Hopeful108 OFFLINE Fresh Boarder Posts: 3 Karma: 1	1
	Last Edit: 04 Mar 2018 21:36 by Hopeful108.

Re: I'm new here! Hoping someone has some advice 25 Jan 2018 07:47 #325958

Singularity
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Hopeful108 wrote on 24 Jan 2018 22:34:

Hi singularity. Never is indeed a very long time. When I say I will never do it again, of course that doesn't mean I know for certain I will never stumble. It means that this is my mindset. I am completely and wholly dedicated to making it my life's goal to stay away from destructive behaviors forever. I feel like I will never do it again. I believe that this mindset is crucial for me to succeed. I cannot leave any room in my mind for the possibility of not keeping to my commitment.

That said, everybody is human including me, and if I do stumble I pray that God gives me the strength to renew my commitment.

But that's not a possibility I prefer to plan for.

I understand that for some people it may be better to think about the possibility, so that they won't be completely devastated if it happens, but for where I'm at right now, I believe this is the best mindset for me.

So to sum up, it's a reflection of my mindset, I'm not trying to be cocky

And as for what I'm doing, in addition to developing this mindset and completely stopping my behaviors, I've begun to work hard on my spiritual development. I've been reading some great books (I recommend The Spiritual Self by Rabbi Twerski), and listening to speeches. Also, a lot of davening. And filters.

Sorry, didn't mean to make you sound cocky