cordnoy wrote on 08 Oct 2018 13:00:
Hashem Help Me wrote on 08 Oct 2018 11:28:
An uninvited wet dream is a cause for celebration. When one was not lusting heavily during the day and then out of the blue has a wet dream, it is completely not his fault. It means your subconscious has realized that you have firmly shown that you will iyh not act out consciously. So the subconscious - known to us as the nefesh ha-b'hamis - gets its release only when he is in charge - when you are asleep. So of course you do not reset your count. You make a l'chaim and keep on going. Hatzlocha.
You've said this several times and I'd like to believe it. It's nice and had a positive spin.
DoI you have a source for this?
Additionally, how is it compatible with the words of ourI sages that one who sees keri y"k night should be worried theI entire year (about death)?
I heard this concept from a very respected frum psychologist who is highly endorsed by rabbonim and roshei yeshiva. In general one who "wakes up wet" without having lusted during the day should not become tzubrochen. The gmara brings reasons why one may ejaculate while sleeping which are totally unrelated to lust. Examples given - after traveling a long distance, recuperating from an illness, or eating certain foods. Those of us who unfortunately have an accompanying sexual dream along with the emission, well then it depends. If that happens because of active reading or viewing of inappropriate material, or imagining of erotic scenes during the day, we are held responsible for what takes place while we sleep that night - as is clear in halacha. However one who avoids inappropriate reading, viewing ,or imagining during the day, yet still has a wet dream with sexual content, obviously is simply dredging up residual imagery from the past. This is an act completely done by the subconscious, and one is not responsible for it. In general, it becomes less and less frequent as we BH drift further away from the sights and sounds of the filth we saw.
Regarding seeing keri on Yom Kippur, look at the last gemara in Yuma daf 88 and at all the meforshim - First of all there are opinions in the gemara that it is a good sign, and even those who disagree, say that if one survives the year than retroactively it was a good sign. Secondly, it is obvious that this "Yom Kippur seeing of keri" that we are dealing with is not lust related, for the gemara earlier in the mesecta lists all the eitzos they did and actions/foods that were avoided to help prevent the Kohen Gadol from seeing keri. As an aside, there happens to be a very interesting Korban Nesanel (under the Rosh in back of the gemara) with advice what to do if one accidentally experiences this occurrence. Chas veshalom, one may not minimize the very unpleasant experience of becoming tamei on the most holy of days. Any ehrliche yid who it happens to would be shaken to the core, and yes, halacha brings the opinion from the gemara of "yidag kol hashana".
In closing, with the exception of Yaakov Avinu who said of himself that until age 84 when he married, he never saw keri, and Elisha who the Shunamis declared a kadosh for not staining his sheet with keri, and other "gor heilige mentschen" throughout the generations, most ehrliche yidden on occasion innocently experience this most unpleasant happening. The medical world is of the opinion that it occurs naturally approximately once every 90 days for those who did not bring it on themselves via stimulation, be it marital relations or masturbation. And for those of us who due to our pasts may sometimes "see" some unpleasant dreams accompanying it, realize that it's to be expected due to the images seared into our subconscious psyche that iyh with time and being involved with kedusha will heal. In the meantime, enjoy a dip in the mikva, daven to Hashem to help you remain kadosh v'tahor, drink a l'chaim and have a great day.