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The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:)

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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!

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TOPIC: The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:) 84367 Views

Re: The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:) 24 Mar 2017 13:21 #309080

gevura shebyesod
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Great avatar!!!!

!אנא עבדא דקודשא בריך הוא

וּבְיָדְךָ כֹּחַ וּגְבוּרָה וּבְיָדְךָ לְגַדֵּל וּלְחַזֵּק לַכֹּל

"If it would be so easy there wouldn't be a GYE, but if it would be impossible there also wouldn't be a GYE."
"Sometimes a hard decision leads to an easier outcome."
- General Grant

My story: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/111583-hello-my-friends

Re: The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:) 26 Mar 2017 18:26 #309245

hakolhevel
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Hashem Help Me wrote on 24 Mar 2017 11:17:

Hakol, you are beginning to experience the real menuchas hanefesh that has eluded so many of us for so long. Very happy for you. Now it's your turn to start being mechazek others! It will help your own recovery too.

I don't think I'm yet at the point where I can help others, The recovery is still raw and the challenges have not been what they could be.

So have I grown? Yes but as StillGoing writes in his thread "When you coast you roast" So I'm coasting right now (as in the last few days) and that's a problem, because in life you either go up or down. I pray to Hashem that he let's me continue this wonderful journey, and keep growing.

In other news, yesterday (Shabbos) I had something stressful come up, and I right away I thought of... Whatever it;s for the balei baatims forum. The point is that NO MORE SELF MEDICATING. not that that was always the reason but definitly sometimes.

My Thread:The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:)

My other Thread: My Daily Inspiration

I'm not a slow learner, I'm just quick to forget" - Eli Nash

A bit of honesty and less over confidence might help me - Imperfection

Re: The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:) 27 Mar 2017 03:25 #309321

Hashem Help Me Current streak: 2888 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 4042	Super that you stayed in control! Keep it up. You are BH at 2 times chai - with a new lease on life.
	Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:) 27 Mar 2017 07:50 #309342

Singularity Current streak: 72 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder To write, or not to write? Posts: 1507 Karma: 78	BH BH !! BH!! !! Keep on truckin
	"Vegeta, what does the scouter say about his sobriety level?" "... It's over NINE-ZEROOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" One day... At A Time :-D Introduce Yourself and get a free karma point from yours truley! My Thread

Re: The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:) 27 Mar 2017 14:47 #309376

hakolhevel Current streak: 42 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 695 Karma: 47	Thank you all for the words of encouragement. My thought for the day: If an addict is a cucumber that is now a pickle, than I'm a batampte (I think that's how you spell it) pickle: crunchy like a cucumber, but still sour like a pickle!
	My Thread:The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:) My other Thread: My Daily Inspiration I'm not a slow learner, I'm just quick to forget" - Eli Nash A bit of honesty and less over confidence might help me - Imperfection

Re: The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:) 28 Mar 2017 09:14 #309468

Singularity Current streak: 72 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder To write, or not to write? Posts: 1507 Karma: 78	sadly though there's only one way to go from there...
	"Vegeta, what does the scouter say about his sobriety level?" "... It's over NINE-ZEROOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" One day... At A Time :-D Introduce Yourself and get a free karma point from yours truley! My Thread

Re: The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:) 28 Mar 2017 10:24 #309475

mayanhamisgaber Current streak: 44 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 1198 Karma: 71	Singularity wrote on 28 Mar 2017 09:14: sadly though there's only one way to go from there... FLUSH
	very important thread: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/19180-FEEL-THE-HUGS%21%21%21" option="guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/19180-FEEL-THE-HUGS%21%21%21">FEEL THE HUGS!!!

Re: The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:) 28 Mar 2017 12:17 #309483

GrowStrong Current streak: 2153 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder OMAAT Posts: 888 Karma: 89	MayanHamisgaber wrote on 28 Mar 2017 10:24: Singularity wrote on 28 Mar 2017 09:14: sadly though there's only one way to go from there... FLUSH lol

Re: The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:) 28 Mar 2017 14:03 #309491

hakolhevel Current streak: 42 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 695 Karma: 47	Singularity wrote on 28 Mar 2017 09:14: sadly though there's only one way to go from there... Hey, today with plastic surgery you never know, maybe they can turn a pickle back into a cucumber. But who would want to eat a plastic cucumber?
	My Thread:The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:) My other Thread: My Daily Inspiration I'm not a slow learner, I'm just quick to forget" - Eli Nash A bit of honesty and less over confidence might help me - Imperfection Last Edit: 28 Mar 2017 14:05 by hakolhevel. Reason: Spelling mistake

Re: The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:) 28 Mar 2017 14:09 #309492

hakolhevel Current streak: 42 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 695 Karma: 47	MayanHamisgaber wrote on 28 Mar 2017 10:24: Singularity wrote on 28 Mar 2017 09:14: sadly though there's only one way to go from there... FLUSH Warning: Spoiler! Is that because my Avatar is a bathroom vanity
	My Thread:The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:) My other Thread: My Daily Inspiration I'm not a slow learner, I'm just quick to forget" - Eli Nash A bit of honesty and less over confidence might help me - Imperfection

Re: The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:) 30 Mar 2017 04:11 #309659

hakolhevel
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Dov wrote on 20 Feb 2017 17:02:

I think Shlomo24 said it all when he wrote that change requires change.
And Shteeble said the truth when he wrote that if it's important to you then spend time on it.
And I agree w Tiger who wrote that opening up to a safe person who understands is the way to go.

All that stuff says to me that if I look at how I conduct myself during the years of acting out, I will learn how to do things right...by basically doing the opposite.

SO I have learned a lot in the last 30 something days and I just looked back at my forum and came across this gem, but first a story from today.

So I'm driving on a bridge and out of the corner of my I I notice a boat stopped with 2 people on it (you may guess I live in a warmer climate) of course I noticed they where women, so for a half a second I thought about double checking that they are indeed women (even though with my periphery vision, I knew that anyway) but then I stopped myself (similar to my flight story). Not just because I was listening to a shiur, because I usually listen to shiurim in my car and it never stopped me from looking, rather I think it has to do with powerlessness. Or at least the way I understand it for me.

Basically I have come to the realization that I am powerless to the lust train once it starts rolling, I used to think, sure I can check out these women (or check out what I should't check out:) Or yah I can look at this news story I won't be affected by the images on the side... I can watch that youtube video, so what the picture depicting the video shows someone improperly dressed that's not why I'm watching it right? Or even in the moments of "truth" when I realized I was looking at these things to see the attractive women - or in worse cases, when I would look at porn, but I would tell myself, I'm Strong I'm in control the main thing is that I don't MZ"L. Well I have come to realize that the moment I give into lust a little bit, it may not happen today or tomorrow , but eventually I will be run over.

So as DOV said, look at what you used to do and do the opposite - so now when I see something triggering I right away tell myself NO - I AM POWERLESS - I CANNOT DEAL WITH THIS... Now back to the Shiur (or whatever else I may have been doing at the moment)...

This also prevents a whole nasty fight with the YH, when I think I can look and fight, well then It's a fight and sometimes I even would congratulate myself - hey I looked at this and I didn't sin (yet). How arrogant I was

But now it takes humility, I tell the YH, yah you WOULD win so... I just won't start, I'm not playing this game.

Sorry for the rant but as MARKZ told me KOR.

P.s MARKZ where are you haven't seen you on my thread in a while?

Re: The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:) 30 Mar 2017 05:31 #309661

Hashem Help Me Current streak: 2888 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 4042	Very well written.
	Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:) 30 Mar 2017 08:17 #309669

Singularity Current streak: 72 days OFFLINE Platinum Boarder To write, or not to write? Posts: 1507 Karma: 78	Well done. KOT! KOR! But evidently, DO NOT KOB!!!
	"Vegeta, what does the scouter say about his sobriety level?" "... It's over NINE-ZEROOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" One day... At A Time :-D Introduce Yourself and get a free karma point from yours truley! My Thread

Re: The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:) 30 Mar 2017 12:55 #309692

Markz OFFLINE Platinum Boarder Posts: 8258 Karma: 428	I visit your thread and also get all emails and follow your Truck closely So even if I, or others don't comment, you gotta keep posting and inspiring There's much to learn from you! Success is not determined by days of sobriety, rather by determination, so keep it up with the help of Hashem And hey, how do you pull off so many dov posts on your thread
	My Story---------Dov Quotes *FREE LUST TRUCK TOWING* *Click HERE to checkout;* • 100 Day Success Stories: cordnoy, Dov, Gevura and more... • Awesome Threads Saved for You • Cast Your Vote ➣ GYE Plenty Solutions ➣ The Mark of Torah - Lust Chizuk ➣ Nice Trucking Story

Re: The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:) 03 Apr 2017 14:05 #309966

hakolhevel
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Markz wrote on 30 Mar 2017 12:55:

I visit your thread and also get all emails and follow your Truck closely

So even if I, or others don't comment, you gotta keep posting and inspiring

There's much to learn from you!

Success is not determined by days of sobriety, rather by determination, so keep it up with the help of Hashem

And hey, how do you pull off so many dov posts on your thread

I think I got Dov on because I started speaking about honesty, and that's his pet peeves.