Ihavenostrength wrote on 10 Apr 2017 21:12:

You could ask a noahide

Day 61: 


Ralph Waldo Emerson

 thanx so much, I think you really helped me discover one of my biggest issues (validating others)

Sry, I think I posted that on the wrong chat

Day 62: 


J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (Harry Potter, #6)

Hmm, maybe I should make Dumbeldore my Higher Power...

If you are going with a wizard just have him magic it all away

GrowStrong wrote on 13 Apr 2017 16:25:

What I am about to say would have nauseated me in the past: I am grateful for my addiction. I don't want it removed.

Day 63: 


William James

Day 64: I realized I must check the rating of the shows I watch.

I don't watch too much TV. 

I found a show, innocently started watching.

Shut it immediately when I saw it was inappropriate. 

Seeing even a second of these images can be so triggering. It can awaken feelings within that I really don't want to feel. 

Nu nu, gotta be more careful. Learnt my lesson. 

Gut moed! 

Gut moed and keep it up!!

Ihavenostrength wrote on 16 Apr 2017 05:18:

As someone else just mentioned if it's PG it's most likely a problem already.
And those IMDB parental descriptions can be quite graphic so be careful with them
Hope you are enjoying Chag you are doing amazingly.

There's a site I use called commonsensemedia.org and they also have an app. They give accurate ratings without  being too descriptive.

Day 65: Boruch Hashem. Thank G-d for today and all these past days. Why do I thank G-d? I thank him because I know how complex the world is. I know how many variables there are in life, which lead us in one direction or another. So I'm thankful that I made it this far, approaching the precipice of sanity. I'm thankful that he lead me in this direction. 

Yes, there was years of pain. I don't know why. I don't see the positivity in the past. 

Maybe it taught me that I could survive in the toughest of situations. 

I'm still grateful though. Why? 

G-d doesn't owe us anything. Everything he gives us is a gift. So I'm grateful for this drop of sanity, that he in his benficience, bestowed upon me. 

Another idea. 

We think the great warrior is the one who believes in his own strength and discounts the strength of his enemy. This couldn't be farther from the truth. The great warrior respects his enemy. He acknowledges the strength of his opponent. He also looks for weakness and tries to exploit it. However, he never discounts the danger. Pride comes before the fall as they say. 

Lust is very powerful. A sexually themed scene in a TV show or movie can be very powerful. You'd have to be a fool not to respect that. 

Lust has some weaknesses too. Do you know what they are? 

Peace

Day 67: Getting a bit tough. It's not even that It's getting tough to stay clean. It's just getting tough to live.

Unhealthy ways of thinking about things create stress. I think I'm falling back into unhealthy mindsets. 

Just living, dealing with family, with daily life can be so tough. I just want to do something that will make me feel good. 

That's why lust is so tempting. Sweet orgasm, porn. Even though it brings me to the depths of hell, to a place of utter despair. At that moment of orgasm however, for a split second, there is release. Escape. A good feeling. A feeling of vitality. 

For right now all I can tell myself is this: I need a solution to life, but lust, porn and masturbation, sure as hell ain't it. 

May the Aibershter give us all strength to do what we must.