cordnoy wrote on 20 Nov 2016 18:05:

You asked for suggestions from experience. What's wrong with the above?

Yosef Tikun HaYesod wrote on 20 Nov 2016 17:40:


Such a good point except that they tried exactly that and found that when people who were dieting were discouraged from talking about foods they loved, they did much WORSE than people who were allowed to talk about it

I read what you wrote.
Watson is suggesting that the advice that's appropriate and good for someone addicted, is not appropriate or helpful for someone like me. And looking at your list, perhaps he's right.
Talking to real (live) people, going to meetings, and joining phone conferences are all in that category.
I don't think I would feel comfortable being exposed.
Therapy also seems too extreme.
Reading the books-- What books are for people who are struggling but without addiction?
I did read today the long article on bad habits and how to break them, which was great.
I am going to have to put a lot of thought and work into it. Just reading it wasn't enough to put it into practice. Don't know when I'll do that self-discovery work. But I will re-read it.
Getting a sponsor and emailing him regularly is something I'm doing now.
Perhaps, it would help to have more than 1 person to regularly communicate with...that was in my situation and has Boruch HaShem gotten passed it, (I know loaded terms here, but I mean that he had a strong bad habit for many years, and worked on it, and has now gone more than a year without backsliding...like a diet sponsor/coach/helper who really struggled with their weight, although was never addicted to overeating, and found certain strategies to lose the weight, and has maintained the weight loss, to the degree that it is no longer a major issue anymore...they are past it, they made it  past the danger zone of slipping back into old patterns). If you know of someone, please let me know.

Over 95% of people who lose over 50 pounds, gain it back within 5 years. 
And that doesn't include the people who tried and failed to lose 50 pounds in the first place!
"They found" may make it sound good and official, but really successfully maintaining weight loss long-term is VERY elusive and not well understood.

And I suspect, the answer HOW to successfully pass this nisayon long-term and do a real teshuva, never returning to the aveiras of the past, is VERY elusive as well and likely just as understood.

Yosef Tikun HaYesod wrote on 20 Nov 2016 19:44:

You sound like you have most stuff figured out. I'm sure you'll find something that works for you.

B'hatzlachah

83% of facts on the internet are made up.

And 100% of our troubles are of our own making.

"You sound like you have most stuff figured out. I'm sure you'll find something that works for you.
B'hatzlachah"

Are you being sarcastic?
I do NOT have all the answers.
As I wrote, I nearly failed today.
I doubt I can get to 90 days.
I am on here looking for real help.

Yosef Tikun HaYesod wrote on 20 Nov 2016 19:59:

Nearly failed means you were successful.

90 days....Who cares?

Do you think this is the wrong place for me?
Is this place only good for recovering addicts?
Is there a place that's better suited to help me?
Some of you were able to pull up a post from about 5 years ago, so you know who's out there.
Is there someone well-suited to help me break free from this bad habit for good, who would be willing to regularly email me?

Seriously, I think you need to calm down.

Walk, don't run.

Stick around. Post some, read more. Keep an open mind.

Take it easy.

II second that.

Watson wrote on 20 Nov 2016 20:15:

Put some tea in your scotch

That was some crazy Sunday. And I still almost failed.
Thank G-d, I didn't.
I did have some 12-year-old Scotch before bed!
--------------
Then, this morning already I had a pretty close call.
I think the yetzer hara wants to stop me in my tracks, before I really get started, and get me discouraged, so that I stop working on it. I guess, I should have expected as much.
Anyway, I thought about WHY do I want to do this (inappropriately touch myself, masturbate, and waste seed). And I thought about WHAT I should answer that urge. 
I don't HAVE to give in to it and act on it. I decided to have a large glass of water and a coffee.
Then, I decided to exercise walk (FIRST time in ages).
I thought a lot of free-flowing thoughts about doing or not doing it. 
I felt empowered. I can decide how I will act. I am an eved HaShem. I don't have to give in to this desire.
Then, I pushed myself (yeah, I'll probably be sore tomorrow) and at 30 minutes or so, a wave of euphoria came over me (runner's high). That was certainly a gift from HaShem. 
This made me feel good, in more ways than one!
------------------
Then, the dreaded shower. The time when I am most vulnerable to fall and forget who I am and act out.
I had the thoughts again. But I decided I needed a shave. I distracted myself. Took my shower and decided that I would RATHER write here about how I succeeded, than the alternative!
Is that awesome or what?

It IS awesome. 
But I saw lots of thoughts and distractions in your post

gye offers a different menu which leaves you feeling satisfied and also IS satisfying, so you won't feel the need to go elsewhere for your fix

Please see the spoiler button below and click on 'solutions' for an abridged version of today's specials

Then you can top it off with your spiked scotch

I agree with Mark. I think that you deserve a better plan than just distraction. There are solutions that actually improve life beyond merely not acting out.