Actually I read all your posts and I like your interesting introspectives

And following your progress too ;-)

PLEASE KEEP THEM COMING

Does anyone know how to have "thank you"s added to all of someone's post on a thread with ONE click of a button?

II am not into cheerleading (cheerleaders....Yes), so I don't ra ra on the sidelines. I answer questions. If I notice something in a post, I comment on it. You took a serious step by meeting someone, also talking to Dov and others. That accelerates sobriety. Commenting on other people's threads help as well. For me, shorter posts are preferable.

Continued hatzlachah

I know that nobody owes me anything. 
And actually, so far, I have received A LOT of help from the guys here.
I'm no longer alone working on this. I have a whole forum of guys. And a support buddy/sponsor/coach and someone I met who I can email or even meet again. 

I am writing this thread mainly for me to stay accountable and conscious of the fight...
and for anyone who may read and gain from my experiences and journey.

I am now very motivated to succeed and am giving this a HUGE amount of time and effort.
Over the years, I have noticed that there are 4 or 5 times when I get the courage and motivation to really work on this issue, even though I have been dealing with this for MANY more years than that. That is why I may come across as intense. I want to do all I can and get the most help I can enlist, while I am working on it, so that I don't chas v'shalom fail and just go back to my slumber for another several years! I really want to finally succeed and pass this test. So, in my mind, there is an urgency and that explains the intensity.

It just seems sometimes strange to me that out of all the hundreds of people that are going through this fight, and read what I write every day, only a handful or less choose to post something helpful, perhaps based on their personal experience. This is just my feeling.

I can describe it like this: imagine that there's a special conference, and they ask does anyone want to get up and share their experience today or in general, and I decide to share and open up myself. I stand up in the room full of hundreds of people going through roughly the same thing as me, some way more advanced/successful/further along in their recovery, and I read out loud any one of my posts. After I finish, they ask if anyone would like to comment or add anything. And there is silence. Nothing. Silence. More silence.

There are thousands of threads on this forum. Read them. People have spoken and shared their experiences.


I can describe it like this: imagine that there's a special conference, and they ask does anyone want to get up and share their experience today or in general, and hundreds of people decide to share and open up about themselves. People comment, ask and answer and compare notes, but I am in the hallway preparing and practicing my speech. I didn't get a chance to hear any of their experiences, comments, comparisons, contrasts, questions and answers. I stand up in the room full of hundreds of people going through roughly the same thing as me, some way more advanced/successful/further along in their recovery, and I read out loud my well thought-out prepared insightful speech. After I finish, they ask if anyone would like to comment or add anything. And there is silence. Nothing. Silence. More silence.

I don't get it. I am one of the hundreds of people standing up and speaking.
Yeah, I might have come late, because I just heard about the conference after it already started and because I needed to prepare what I had to say. 
But how does it make sense that there would be just silence after I'm done speaking...
when there wasn't silence after everyone, but rather tips, answers, comparing notes, experiences like you said. If someone said well you came late here's a transcript of the thousand hours of discussion, read that start to finish and your questions and feelings have been dealt with. Which page or speaker exactly...never mind that, just start at page 1 and keep reading until you're finished. I think if this happened to you in real life, you would not feel too good about it or understand their reaction. And nor do I.

II love you dearly and I wish you only hatzlachah.
 from the tone of your posts, your sound like an extremely self-righteous, selfish and self-centered person, a bit stubborn as well. I am sure that's not true, but that is the appearance. Something to think about.

And on my thread, tryin' or mikvah night, I was called egotistical, haughty and more.

You have been here less than two weeks. Your thread has reached ten pages. Most threads do not go three pages. Ask markz for the statistic. People are viewing and responding.

Please take it easy.

All will be well.

cord recommended to keep to short posts (like 3 short paragraphs max)

People generally don't reply often to long posts. Look at cordnoys personal page 'tryin' with has last 3 long posts 

WHERES EVERYONE

WHY DID NO ONE REPLY TO HIM

I see a long post, unless it's from those who have been here a while, and I move on to the next one. I don't read them.

We had a similar situation with a poster who's thread quickly reached great length. He's probably the most stubborn person I have ever had "contact" with in my entire life. And guess what? He didn't recover. He came back a short while ago and his disease had progressed. I hope he's in a good place now but it would definitely surprise me if he is.

Yosef Tikun HaYesod wrote on 30 Nov 2016 18:35:

I'm sorry to point this out YTH, but I had a quick look, and of your 53 posts, only a single one of them have been on someone else's thread. All of your posts have been about you.

Personally the reason I've stopped posting here is because I don't know how to help you.

Post length don't have any indication on the person unless you gonna say Dov and Yechida are very sicko's

Its just that you can't expect people to read what you write, cos we don't all have that time to read it all, unless you're giving a short news update of new insight which is actually helping your recovery - not a concept which you or I are bringing from before gye - to the forum

I better stop or no one will read this 

Cord wrote: I love you dearly and I wish you only hatzlachah.
from the tone of your posts, your sound like an extremely self-righteous, selfish and self-centered person, a bit stubborn as well. I am sure that's not true, but that is the appearance. Something to think about.
And on my thread, tryin' or mikvah night, I was called egotistical, haughty and more.
You have been here less than two weeks. Your thread has reached ten pages. Most threads do not go three pages. Ask markz for the statistic. People are viewing and responding.
Please take it easy.
All will be well.
----------------
Amen. Food for thought. I don't want to give off that appearance. 
I'll TRY to make the posts shorter. 
I'm under a lot of pressure and stress now. 
And I don't want to go back to the aveiras of the past...
which I am very vulnerable and close to doing.
Sometime before the end of Chanuka (a little more than a month from now),
is when I would ordinarily fail. And this time I really want to succeed 
and make it clean 50 + days . Based on my past several years of actions,
I have reason to be concerned.

Thank you

TwoI things.

1. Focus on today (some seforim write that we are not even allowed to worry about future....).
2. Certainly, let's not focus on specific days of the year, even when they are based on past experience. Work your best now.

B'hatzlachah

(You  and others probably won't believe me, but with respect to myself, I am pretty confident that I will remain sober today, but I am extremely skeptical that this will continue over the next three weeks, and that has consistently been my mindset.)

cordnoy wrote on 30 Nov 2016 19:30:


I wrote a long thread basically saying what Cordnoy said now but deleted it. But I am in full agreement- stop having taanos, expectations, and telling everyone else how it is, how it should be, and how you see it. Listen and learn.

I wrote post 298867 SPECIFICALLY because of what you wrote and then deleted. I read it, and 298867 was my response to you. That's why I even wrote reason for edit: Workingguy.

But instead of clarifying my feelings and backtracking and calming things down with you and others too,
298867 just opened up a can of worms.
Now, when the can is back sealed, you post that I should just shut up and listen.
I wrote that I want nothing more than to listen to others thoughts and comments on my posts of what I'm going through, in order to gain from others experiences and grow, and there is often nothing to listen to. On the silly stuff, like tone and word choice and putting me in my place, there are tons of comments.

We're not a group of therapists.

Have you read the GYE handbook?