Sent you an email.

Hey, hang in there. We can all get to 90 days together. I don't know when my last fail was, but joining the site was the beginning of day 1 for me. And lets get past 90 together. We don't press the reset button at 90 and start again!

Go for it! You even know all your weak spots! Make specific gedarim for those times! I remember one erev shabbos I was going so well, decided to spend the afternoon submitting online assignments and well, one thing led to another and.... *

Just try know yourself... Da'as atzmo. 

Another day clean...which makes 2 weeks now. Yeay!
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Unfortunately, I have a lot of data, over years, so yes, I know my weak spots. And that IS something.
I had a super-productive email exchange as well, with both "Cord" and "Dovid" (who is my email coach/sponsor/buddy) last night. Wow!

Cord wants me to meet someone. And Dovid wants me to get rid of the internet completely...no streaming videos, no websites, no nothing...except for a few "whitelisted" sites like my email and this site and a couple more. This is going to be SUPER hard to do long-term, since it has unfortunately become such an entrenched bad behavior pattern. Bad habits are hard to break free from, especially when there is some "payout" (entertainment/relaxation/interest/release/pleasure/escape) that I am getting from it. Exercise-walking is a lot harder to do that typing in something interesting to watch and sitting back and relaxing. And I can't always exercise (not in the mood/too tired/don't feel like exerting all that effort/etc.)
Posting on the forums I don't find "fun" so it probably won't be a good substitute. So, I don't know what to "plug into" instead of the computer...and at times masturbation. Any ideas/thoughts? 
And I'm on a diet, so the answer can't be pizza and beer.
Music and spending time with my family may be an answer I will try...in addition to exercise.
Possibly connecting with a couple of people on email like last night may help too fill that void.

I plan to keep posting about my individual experiences over these 90 days. Maybe I can actually make it and pass this nisayon...but Chanuka-time is coming up, when I would ordinarily fail...so we'll see if this year will be better...different...awesome...a miracle that defies the odds. It IS a time of nissim!

 .

Keep it up.

Half measures are of no avail.

Check your email.

Another day clean.
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Boruch HaShem, nothing but great news to report:
Emails back and forth with Cord were productive and encouraging.
It's a more personal touch and added dimension than the form posts.
And then, the big news... I actually met someone in person last night!
Talk about "no 1/2 measures"!
The guy, who was actually quite similar to me,
and is now clean for over 2 years, and has finally passed this nisayon, 
told me straight out that he couldn't believe I agreed to meet him.
I was greatly encouraged by our meeting, and have some concrete steps to take going forward.

I exercise-walked for an hour this morning and listened to the shiur The Fight part 3.
They are packed with good, useful information. I will have to listen to them again and take some notes on the key points. I MAY even write them here too for others to gain from. If almost 1000 views are already on this forum that I just started, it is likely that people may gain from me detailing my experiences and what I find is helping me stay clean.
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This really should be a separate post entirely, but suffice it to say for now, that my relationship with my wife has just in the past DAY taken a HUGE leap forward...which is VERY encouraging. In one sentence, we had been living pretty separate lives for over a year, without real time or conversations.
I think she senses that I am really working on tyvah and taking positive steps to grow and get better. 
And as The Garden of Peace by Rabbi Arush writes (which I have resisted and don't fully believe and is hard to accept...and puts all the blame on US): a wife mirrors what her husband does. If he gets his act together, she will naturally change for the better without even thinking about it or working hard. It's almost like she is "mamesh a puppet" which means that if she is acting in ways that we don't like, it is in our hands to change...just move the strings differently. Well, I got rid of the internet except for a few whitelisted sites, I emailed Cord and Dovid, and then I met someone in person...and talked at length.
Suddenly she had time and desire to have a whole conversation with me. There was no yelling or blaming. It was quite pleasant. I told her about the nice place I went to last night, and she asked me out on a date!
She said she would like to go out Sunday night with me somewhere. UNBELIEVABLE.

What is the "karma" thing all about?
How does it work?
I noticed it right away on some people's post next to number of total posts and clean days streak.
But didn't care too much. Now, that I have 1, I want to know more.

Yosef Tikun HaYesod wrote on 25 Nov 2016 12:39:

Now you have 2 :-)

What's it all about? See here

KOT

Yosef Tikun HaYesod wrote on 25 Nov 2016 12:39:


Me too, any time I have one (of anything desirable)I want more, and if I have none, I often want one anyway.

I'll give you one

Yosef Tikun HaYesod wrote on 25 Nov 2016 12:31:

you actually met with someone already!?
my goodness; i am so impressed.
kudos to you!

and you were similar!?

and already your marriage is better; wow!

regarding arush's book, i am not a fan, but in general, it is your/my fault.
ayin sham b'mikvah thread v'timtza nachon

Another 2 clean days. I'm not taking anything for granted...even Shabbos. 
Though failing on Shabbos has been, Boruch HaShem, extremely rare.
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Still not sure how to receive or give "karma" points, or what has to be done to acquire them, but whatever.
The link provided was just 2 guys talking about how they don't deserve them. But whatever.
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I am getting into a groove exercising. Last week, I exercise-walked 3 times, while listening to shiurim
(which is the good kind of "double-whammy").
I hope to exercise-walk (and eventually run) on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday mornings, and again Motzei Shabbos, before I go to bed. I think this is helping break my bad habit, and even replacing it with a good habit. And the "runner's high" that washes over me around 40 minutes into the workout is a blessing from HaShem! Also, I listened to part 4 of The Fight. These shiurim are amazing. I really need to go back over the material and take some notes, but I am still gaining a lot from just listening while I exercise.
-----------------------------------
Shabbos was nice. Maybe a little nicer than usual, but my family is skeptical that I am going to keep this up. So, they are being cautious and holding back their reactions.
I guess you don't praise the guy who just says he's going to start eating healthy and lose weight. It's all just talk at first.
-----------------------------------
My wife and I are going on a date tonight. As long as I'm careful about what I choose to talk about, this should be a HUGE win. I'll keep everyone posted how that turns out.
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When I first put together the koach to pick myself up again, and wanted to really do teshuva and break this bad habit (a little over 2 weeks ago), I asked HaShem for help. I am sick and tired of yo-yo-ing (like working hard and losing weight, only to regain it a few months later. And over and over again).
Well, HaShem heard me and loves me, so first things first:
1. I fell on my hands. I can't remember the last time (before this) when I literally tripped and fell to the ground. It's so weird and rare. But as I fell, I instinctively put out my hands to break my fall and hurt them pretty bad. With my right hand I still can't make a fist without feeling a sharp pain. I understood right away, that this was not a coincidence, and asked HaShem for it to be a full kaparah for all my sins, especially those I have done with my hands.
2. Then, a friend asked if I wanted to go to a big Rav, since he had a coveted appointment and was driving there anyway. Of course, I went. Again, HaShem setting this whole thing up. I wrote a short note to the Rav asking him HOW to succeed this time and do a real teshuva to be a tzaddik and never return, Chas v'Shalom to the aveiras of the past. He said only 2 words: Tilmode Torah.
(Perhaps paradoxically, that actually threw me for a loop, and I am just now getting back into the groove of learning). But I know it still helped to get a "bracha"/aitza from a big Rav.
3. Then, I got an "email buddy/sponsor/coach" I can work with, who calls himself Dovid.
4. Then, he said I should keep track of my progress on the 90-day chart and maybe post on the 90-day forum. I didn't want to. He insisted it would help. I joined the chart and started this forum, which I now see as quite helpful!
5. Then, he said I should get in touch with Dov. We've talked at length twice so far.
6. Then, he said I should get rid of the internet, which I didn't feel ready for. He insisted it would help.
So, I did it (except for a few whitelisted sites, like this one).
7. Then, someone suggested I actually meet someone in person who has succeeded in this nisayon.
I didn't know if I was ready for that. He thought it may help. So, I did it. And I think it will help.
Just having a real guy available in case of an emergency, may really help me succeed and NOT fall if/when a really big test comes.
ALL 7 of these things have happened in the past 17 days, so I think the lesson is that HaShem definitely hears our heartfelt tefilas and helps those who want help to succeed and do teshuva and get close to Him.
Boruch HaShem, I hope to continue forward, and get stronger and stronger, passing this nisayon, and vanquishing this bad habit for good.

I typed in "mikveh thread" to the search and read about 2 guys discussing whether it was a good thing he didn't insist his wife go to the mikveh on Shabbos, which was the correct time for her that month.

Please give me a link for the "mikveh thread" you intended for me to read, because I doubt this was it.
Thanks

  

Probably mikvah.