I have so much to write but no time to write it in.

I have two problems, on the computer and in the street. I figured to tackle them one by one. I see it doesn't work that way. The dopamine from which I am starving my brain by doing the program, I easily replace with gazing on the street. Yet still it is a start. The major league addiction is really from the computer when I am sitting by myself, and I close the door, and my wife is not home. So I am still moving forward. On the street I have the fear that other men, or even ladies, will notice, serves me as a preventative. And on the street I certainly do not wallow in the mud like I do, like I used to do, please G-d, on the computer. So I strengthen myself that progress is being made, and I try to be strong during times of strength, and I realize that it is probably going to take a lot longer than 90 days, but that I am on the right path.

I added an added dimension to my definition of falling, which I don't think is in the definitions that GYE provides, just that I can't find the definitions this second, that if I go to a web page in order to see non-tzenius pictures in order to get aroused, and I indeed look at the pictures and get aroused, then this is already a fall, even without doing anything else. Baruch Hashem with the 90-day and the Taphsik I have been strong.

I actually had to be moreh myself a heiter, but I think that I was correct. I swore the Taphsik oath after the nusach change over the last month or two, and there was a day when, well, My big problem is with Google, this is where I go to fall, used to go to fall, please G-d, and when a site that I was working on had Facebook likes on it, thumbnails of the last ones who liked, and I saw a pretty thumbnail and clicked it, and then immediately realized that HEY! what are you doing? going to Facebook to look at the scenery is the same thing as going to Google to look at the scenery. But, Baruch Hashem, there was actually nothing on the other side, and my impulsive attempt was not successful. From the standpoint of Taphsik I am sure that I did not take upon myself the big knas, that was fixed in the new nusach. But even from the standpoint of 90 days, I think that it can be ruled that this was not a fall, because, lemayseh, it wasn't.

I find that the Taphsik helps the 90 days and the 90 days helps the taphsik. There was one time when I was all ready to fall, I was actually looking up on my Taphsik nusach what exactly were the distractions that I took upon myself, I realized, heh, don't you want to finish the 90 days before Rosh Hashana and have something to come into Rosh Hashana with?

It's good that you realize that gazing in the street fuels the same lust that drives you to porn.

I very much identify with that.

I am glad that the taphsik/90 day thing works for you.

Much hatzlachah

Welcome

Wow out of gyes 20 tools you already amassed 50%.

I also have a computer challenge and instead of Taphsic, I setup knas not to go online at certain times. This way my line is drawn way before  thumbnails can attack

Btw at work I'm at times confronted with thumbnails. But I'm not tempted to click on them since I joined gye. If your only prevention is Taphsic and 90 chart, the thumbnails may be white knuckling. 

Please do do me a favor. Keep us posted at least weekly, how Trucking is going for you!!

Keep on Trucking!!

OMG! You are so right about being extra careful in regards to the 90-day chart, we are sooo close to Rosh Hashana, yikes! I really appreciate that you put that perspective in my mind, it will definitely be a big help!   

Markz asked me to check in at least once a week. It is difficult, I am under tremendous pressure of time, but you are correct, and I shouldn't require your push. Just to be here talking with y'all should be enough to motivate me to come more often, but alas...

I can definitely feel that the internal poison is slowly diminishing, not enough to let up my guard, the attacks remain attacks, but I can definitely feel an improvement, and even if my behavior on the street could be improved to say the least, still it beats what I used to do during my yechidus with the computer.

I note a certain similarity in what resonates inside me between the eyeball attacks, and passing a geshmake sweet when I am in the kitchen and no one is looking. But whereas the former is issur, with all that it implies, the latter is just stupid, I need to lower my weight for serious health concerns. And still I fail with the latter, especially as I have very little support. But I believe that if I pass the test here at gye, then control over what I eat will also become easier.

I understand that I need to invest more time in the second half of the pdf, the points of outlook improvement.

Can someone let me know the link for the ground rules of the 90 days please? The definition of falling in particular. Thank you in advance.

This week I come to the end of my first "month" of TaPhSik. Onward ho.

Thank you all for the chizuk. It is important, it definitely helps.

Mark, I see you hit 90 days today. Mazal Tov!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh no...

I hit someone / something?
Perhaps You have a redbull avatar?
Well then youre following my truck too close and that redflag is dangerous, and put that drink down now!

Actually I just keep it to signify the 90 Mark mentioned on page 2 of my thread, and for another reason explained here. but I don't log my days religiously

btw Thanks and iyH by you
ONE DAY AT A TIME!!

With a heavy heart I am going to report now that I had a fall. The truth is that according to the rules it is not called a fall, it is called a slip. But I set higher standards for myself, and included my wrongdoing in my TaPhsic shevua, and I have paid, and although I wanted to use the game, excuse the expression, to have finished 90 days by Rosh Hashana, but I think it is better this way. It's funny, I just renewed my shevua yesterday, and today the situation changed, so I am stuck with this for another three weeks before I can change it. What changed? I will tell you for your experience, I work on the computer, and today I received an assignment which needs to be done on Facebook. I have always shied away from FB, it's a waste of time, but now it is for work. It is a long term thing, so I will just have to gird my loins for another 3 weeks at least and then reevaluate. It is painful, but it's better this way.

Recovery is not supposed to be painful 
Taphsic is only for select few. If it failed once IMHO it's time to move on

If it's painful, maybe it's because you're not driving on the gye TRUCKING highway

GUARDYOURA**