Hi everyone, I've been thinking about something for a while now and I'd like to hear your input. Ever since I started my way back to normalcy I have tried to make it my business not to be too extreme in my behavior. I try to imagine what the right way of acting would be if I wouldn't have had my problem and I aim towards there. I know that I still have to make extra fences for myself because I'm not with a clean slate but still I don't want to reach a point where because I am panicking that I will fall my general behavior will be sometimes awkward to the outside world. For example, if I can only walk on the street with my eyes glued to the pavement in order not to be triggered by women (even when they are dressed modestly) then I feel that even though I might technically be winning with my addiction, I'm losing on being normal, and in the end of the day there is a fine balance that should be kept between the two. The problem is that sometimes I am triggered by the simplest of things so even though I really mean nothing wrong when I smile and say hello to somebody passing me by on the street, whether man or woman, inside I'll be triggered when a women passes by and I look up to greet them. My question is, how do I keep a healthy balance without compromising on either value?

guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/273255-Re-The-Women-object

I know what you mean. I think that Jewish law sometimes tells us not to be normal for example, no handshakes. It doesn't always tell us to be different but many times. Especially in today's society where "normal" is far beyond what it used to be.

So the first step might be realizing that you'll never get to be normal. 

There's another part to this also. Whenever a man talks to a women his hormones start going a bit crazy (pm me if you want a source). That's whether or not he struggles with lust. Or to put it more accurately, everyone struggles with treating men and women the same because their brain doesn't allow it. If you're talking about getting triggered that's a different story, but if you're talking about feeling different about them then it's not something you'll be able to change.

My attitude for walking/driving in public:

*Focus on what I'm doing
*If I see something that I know is not appropriate for me to look at, I don't look, or look away
*If I don't need to interact with her, I don't need to look at her
*If I do need to interact with her, I do so viewing her as a person. That means, I make eye contact, 
*If I see, hear, or think something I shouldn't have, I let it go, and move on.