Well, I figured it would be awesome and perhaps encouraging to start a daily journal of how my days are, and the feelings I have. I feel having a journal is dual-faceted. One, it allows me to share my insanely huge battle with the Yetzer Hara, and two, perhaps others will see how many of us truly are suffering this constant struggle between the Evil inclination and the Good inclination. It's not easy to go in the path of the good inclination, but it is the will of our Creator. May He truly help us to overcome all our struggles together. "Kol Yisrael Arevin Zeh La'Zeh"- In my opinion, this is not only in relation to physically helping others, rather constantly helping our brothers and sisters spiritually. Giving them the push forward, holding their hand, so to speak. Just as people welcomed me, I wish to welcome others.
Day 1:
Today was not as bad as I thought. Perhaps there is extra Siyata D'shmaya due to it being my birthday, but I do fear that the struggle will get alot more difficult in the days to come. The Yetzer Ha'ra is ok with allowing a day, two days, etc..but then he decides to play with us again. But, I am attempting to put my full faith in Hashem that just like He led me to this site and these forums, so too will He deliver me into His hands which save us daily. I am also enrolled in a non- Jewish university, and today the shmiras einayim level was way down. I literally had to take off my glasses, but still kept staring here and there. The guy:girl ratio at my college is pretty bad for a Jewish person! I used to not wear my Kippah, and rather a hat so that girls would look at me, but lately I have been proudly going with my Kippah and it truly does remind me not to go after what my heart desires. Also, it is the first day that I used my laptop SOLELY outside of my room. I usually keep my laptop in my bed so I can read news, watch movies, and eventually we all know where that leads to. It really gave me a huge sigh of relief to not always spend time in my bed (when I am not in college or at work). Hopefully everyone's day has been great!
