Day 48, My days are long with work, as the book of wisdom says sleep is gift from the Infinite, to rest, to recharge, Thank you Ha Shem blessings for such insight, I can rest for the neat days, You have given me sleep, no worry necessary, in pray and mediation in wisdom and praise briefly each night, I commit my way and will to the Sovereign!

Day 49: This is just apart of my walk with My One, it is not just saying no, it about building my awesome family, to have patience in fruitfulness, to have joy not in the fans sty world, but even make a physical matter where righteousness is more visible in joy, than lust in imagination in secret. Praise our Father, It is beginning, a replacement for deceptive lust. Simple true need of man, his own helpmeet, companion, he is hers, and she is his, the depth of it could expand into eternity in Blessed HaShem, not so with a guilt fling. Expand their universe more with children, and parent enter the eternal purpose of their children, we have no time to leave our specific mission, and lust is then slowing swallow in our unique calling of family in the Almighty.

Day 50/ what next, another 50, 7 more awesome Shabbats with family, the rest of lust laid in the dust because I found I have an Eternal Friend, who is able to give rest before each week that weakens my personal center. The threefold cord can not be easily broken, either its pain, even if we choose and invisible partner. Or the One unifying Spirit of time and space, the breath of loving kindness made a couple's cord, that is to b~one in the One, In a sense, if any other human tries to Come between the One and the couple it just draws the couple away from their own direct Oneness with the One of universe. I have made a lot of mistakes in life, I had enough broken relationships. In my marriage, my wife or queen, made sure that our Creator approves of this man, that the Creater said I would be a blessing. She had her admirers, and the lusters too. Life builds its fortress against future pain. It is a high calling, to have the Maker of the universe say to my woman, this man will be a blessing to you. Guess what, when I seek with all my heart daily to live life in the One Love Spirit, following to best of my understanding the laws, statues, and judgements of our Eternal Sovereign, then I am her blessing. We had some rough spots, but as we turn again and again to One who is close enough, and mighty enough to bring us through to the promise land of a happy healthy family, this is my present life experience, There is One who keeps our little earth of matter working for us, and we hope to alway fulfill our higher purpose.   My personal testimony, for 13 years now the Giver of Torah has care for my family using the benefits of Jubilee, and the law of gleaning to be a tool of blessing, for ourselves, and well as a few needy around us. 

Mazes tov!! Amazing!! 50 days is a gr8 accomplishment. It's not easy! Keep on going strong. Just take 1 day at a time don't think about another 50 days because that could be to overwhelming.

Day 52 & 53:

Rain out of work Friday, sometimes when though times come, I have a self pity party, but Friday when all the chip were down, I did a deed fro someone worse off than me, it was the help against watching stuff that assoicates choose to watch. I made a better choice, We may not be popular, we may not be on the in crowd,but for righteousness sake to have no guilt in my heart, what a treasure of peace.  I will do my best, unto my Maker.  Shabbat is come, we may have to worship alone as our little family, but we worship the G-d of Israel.  Bless be our Creator, our friend, our provider, who taught us to glean on the fields of the righteous.  Who  taught us that He is the Father of fatherless.

Josephsbrother wrote on Unknown:

Just continue doing whats good for you, being popular doesn't allways mean having a better life.
Being sober living in peac does.
Gite voch

Day 54, 55: A few month ago I read a report of Miss Universe was raped, she was also Miss Israel.  She has recently started a mission to help women come through rape.   As I read some of the pain they go though I realize, that if I made my past secret vice present, then I would at some time hurt someone present.  How these months I have a clearer picture of the consequences!  I am glad my replacement world is getting stronger, the beauty of earth, the joy of gardening, the freshness of health in exercise, the temperance use of even goon things. I glad there are new strengths to master my weaknesses. Thanks our Maker for help.

Day 56: Let us be strong, for each day is our vote for our better lifestyle, let us recover our past, by the better day we live today.  Praying for those here reaching for victory.

I Hope some of the Jews I pointed this way, are coming for help.

Thanks for caring 'brother'!!!

You didn't post last night. I thought you died (after hearing about Yesod's waterboarding question?). I'm happy to see you're alive and  well

KOT

I wish I could post everyday, but after often riding 10 miles or lots more in the day, plus work, or even the last minute cancel of work, I sometimes go home to give the best I can to family, get rest for the night.  No matter how tough my day, to find a few moments to do good deeds is one of my heart stirring blessings, then I have rising above myself, and found away to make someone's world a better world, with a new possibility for another, and especially if they can actually see it, thank our Maker.

Day 57:  Started the day with only  a prayer, again answers unknown as I advanced in the day, the light of our Creator help me to find who I could bring a blessing, and in turn blessings came my way too.  As in small details of life, I find my Maker trustworthy, the battle is moe sure, for as long as the relationship is steady, my sharing of the space and time with the One, is what fills my soul with purpose, for my Maker I seek to please; and to please our One, is not an empty calorie to refill. It is to be a son to a father, to share in the universe' mission.  My prayer as the day began, "As I start this day, while the day is ahead of me, while I know nothing of today result, I make my praise now when it is unsure."  " Now as a new night comes the sureness of my trust today has been confirmed."

Day 58:  Every day I have a responsibility, taking care of family, this includes finding work when another landscaping job is done, as I put my heart in it, I can be focused.  A challenge comes up when the one I work for is a beautiful woman.  I send my prayers up, this one I am going to have to go through, and my mind is going to have to be pure.  I have a wife, and I keep that relationship in thoughts.  I am working for family.  When she has a family, I focus on talk around her family, and the job.  I am glad that I love to work with nature, the pruning process is amazing, I have actually seen bud pop out new young leaves. Working with our Maker  is a blessing. Once I had  real tough battle, the lady was not careful with her clothes, so I knew her body could get exposed..  With much prayer I kept closing spots above her head to look when it required me looking at her. Her husband had died in the last year, so avoided going in the house, except for work inside.  I often work for  widows, so a growing test comes my way.  Each woman has her strength, and weakness, so I focus on the job, her family, or her purpose.  I seek in my mind to remember the boundaries of mother, sister, cousin, friend, neighbor, client, daughter.  Once I had to work with a daughter painting the house.  She was friendly, dressed immodesty.  As much as I could I worked on the opposite side of the house, My mindset, this is a daughter, and she has My G-d giving her breath. It took two weeks to finish the job.  I did right by her, her parents, and her Maker.

Day 59: The last two day I had to do some plant covering, the first day I forgot to let my wife know I be gone an hour.  So the next day when I need to do it again, she reminded me we are a team, we share in the relay of life to raise our boys, so as I left today for one hour of work, covering plants, she knew she was at the helm for that hour.  She was impress, I acted on her story, more bonus points. We are finding a way to understand how to work better with each other. Yes the simple hug and kiss, at such times who needs the imaginary mate.