realsimcha wrote on 15 May 2016 20:38:

RS rumor has it that you just began a new travel, to deal with your triggers. Safe trip

Hey hey btbh, 
Welcome back from your lust sabbatical, it's nice to have someone back in the trenches with whom to shmooze 

Sorry,  
It's nice to have you back,  a regular is always sorely missed when they go awol.
Hatzlacha in finding good solid footing back here in the real world,  and looking forward to hearing from you

realsimcha wrote on 15 May 2016 20:38:

Thanks RS! 
By the way, I just went over to the "Introduce Yourself" forum to check on your thread and see where you were holding. I clicked on the last page and got very nervous when I was seeing "Day 7" etc... Until I went back a page and saw that you made it to 90. Congrats! 

I will relate that around the time I made it to 90 I was flying high and could not really imagine "being in the trenches" again (as Yesod so aptly put it). But now I see that it can happen when one least expects it, so we got to always be vigilant and never become overly confident because we reached 90. 

May you reach 90 days many more times! 

Yesod wrote on 15 May 2016 21:08:

Yesod, you always manage to put a smile on my face with your *I don't know the right word* humor. I'm feeling better already! 
 

BenTorah.BaalHabayis wrote on 16 May 2016 01:31:

You are so right. All the drashos on my thread about avoiding the pitfalls of reaching 90 days, didn't prevent the few days after 90 from being tough days. BH made it through. Thanks for your well wishes.

BenTorah.BaalHabayis wrote on 16 May 2016 01:34:

I know what word you are referring to, i try not to say it too often. 

Glad to hear you're feeling better. 
Keep us posted

Guys, I need serious help. I'm sitting here Motzei Shabbos, totally consumed with lust and sick to my stomach because of what I feel is an impending fall. I so badly want to look at some porn. 
I've written a week or two ago about the fact that ever since I returned home from Pesach I seemed to have lost the momentum. Well, it's only getting worse. And although this is no excuse, a big part of this is because my wife is in her first trimester. We haven't had sex for a month and I don't know when to next time will be. And to make things worse, our relationship in general is on a low at the moment (which I believe is due in part to the lack of a physical connection) and the last few nights I've just been feeling really unhappy. So all in all I'm just extremely frustrated and I just want the escape of acting out. 
Will it make me feel better after the fact? Of course not, but I'm not sure that's enough to stop me. I need some chizuk desperately as deep down I know I really don't want to fall! 

Hey bro you wanna talk? 
 

Btbh, .

My man, the odds are stacked against you, 
You're feeling down,  the wife ain't available,  you have been having challenges in the recent past, 
The prognosis is bleak, 

So you can try to find some inner strength to get you feeling better and stronger,  or you can get it elsewhere for free. 

So
Why not reach out and call someone,  talk it out,  it dont have to be me,  I'm the least qualified. 

But reach out and try, what do you have to lose

Dov, cordnoy,  markz,  Yesod,  anyone would love to share in your struggle and split the load


(dont worry the shiksas aren't running anywhere) 

B&B how was Shabbos?
Do you have many friends in your shul that you connect with? (I don't)
Whats up with the wife?
Do you see marriage counselor (as I do)?

Shabbos was okay. My Shmiras Einayim isn't as good as it should be. To make things worse, this was really the first Shabbos in the season with the weather being in the 80s. All the women were out and it was rough keeping my eyes to myself. 
I have friends B"H but not any who I can talk to about these things. My one friend who I did open up to a little turns out he doesn't really struggle with this (who knew that people like this existed...) and so he can't fully relate. 
My wife don't currently see a marriage counselor, though I'm not sure this "low" period requires one. Every relationship has its ups and downs. My issue is with certain tones which my wife uses when she talks to me, as I feel I'm being talked down to. There have been much better times in this regard, but I think the fact that our relationship is currently going through a bit of a dry patch is exacerbating this issue. Whatever the cause is, I snapped tonight and so I asked my wife (nicely) to try to be mindful of how she talks to me. Whenever I do that I'm left with a very yucky feeling as I know I hurt her feelings when I tell her things like that and it will some time to recover from this. 
There's more to say but this post is long enough for now. 

Thanks Yesod. I'm intimidated by some of these people, and anyway who's up past midnight on Motzei Shabbos? 

Way too many people are...

BB
You may appreciate this BB post

Sorry to hear about your struggles it really sounds tough. I don't have many suggestions but try to keep in mind that lust isn't a necessity, we could live without it, and won't die if we don't give in to the urge, by surrendering to the will of the rebosh"o, with a heartfelt tefillah.

It's easier said then done, however this might be an opportunity to practise surrender which is key to recovery. We are rooting for you and having you in mind as well.