i went on a cute polar bear pic parade and i now have a polar bear bic as my desktop background

Thanks for the pics! Very cute, also kind of the reason I took Polar Bear as a username.

I had a fall.

Last time I had a fall, I hid for a few weeks. A few weeks in which I fell a few more times before returning to the site.

This time I decided not to shy away. I'm going to get right back on the slay.

So, um day 0.

Yeah. I don't know what to say. I'm going to guard my eyes a bit more than I was until now. So far so good.

I think that the point of the forum is not that we just post every time we fall. I have found success when posting while i feel totally fine. Or when i don't feel fine and I want to get something off my chest.

Good advice, I was going to update today even though I wasn't being being challenged by anything, but then I started becoming challenged.

Sometimes you think your strong even though you have everything at your fingertips. Until your ears start heating up and you just have to punch in something interesting on those keys! Come on! Just this one time! You just started the 90 day chart again, it's not like you have some big streak or something! And it hits you, that this battle is going to drive you for the rest of your life! It may never get easier! You step back, and you say 'Hey, not today, someday, but not today.' And you hope that you can say the same thing to yourself when someday comes. For the rest of your life. Today.

So I am turning that stress around in protest, and it's making me stronger against the very thing that made it grow inside me in the first place.

Hello all,

Today I am good. I am logging in in order to stay attached to all you people. I am not having any lust right now, but I am aware that it can change fast. Wishing you all a good day, and keep on trucking!

Glad to hear! It feels so much better not to be lusting to begin with than to white knuckle it, no?

Yes it does, Baal! Today I'm feeling slightly 'weaker' then yesterday, but not enough to be considered critical. Still I have to remember that things can slide. And it's hard to remember, because usually when we lust, no automatic red flags shoot up saying that we should stay away. Well, they do, but sometimes the lust is too loud to hear the red flags. Or see them. Something like that. Chaw all!

Hello, fellows!

Day 5?

I had this whole story typed up about great things that happen to people with tough challenges, but I suddenly realized it might be too personal, or doesn't have enough to do with the topic at hand. But, well, that's the moral of the story, that great things happen to people with tough challenges.

Keep rockin'!

i think going off topic is permitted on these forums

Hey polar bear see your not giving up your fighting like a bear keep it up what helped me is just to take 1 day at a time because even the biggest addict could be sober for 1 day good luck!

Thanks for the support, when I started here I felt like I was moving forward relatively smoothly, later on I started bumping into all these ups and downs. I guess that moving forward requires constant adjusting to any giving circumstance.

I had a slip yesterday. It wasn't something that everyone would consider a slip, as a matter of fact many of you may do it every day with no conscience whatsoever. But I personally feel that there's some kind of connection that can later on lead to somewhat of a bigger slip, and I'm trying to stay away from it.

Thanks for listening, and everyone stay strong.

Didn't check the day today, I think it's 7.

Anyway. Yesterday was half a disaster. In which I spent a lot of time viewing stuff online - clean stuff, but still a waste of time that sometimes drags me down into darker tunnels. So that's one of my trigger's trigger's. Now I think that this is usually a result of me not davening with a minyan. Once you start the day on the left foot...

Now sometime this works and sometimes it doesn't.

But today, I davened with a minyan, and I have not even wanted to waste my time online, (I even kind of tried).

Sometimes I feel like I don't have time to go onto GYE. I must have time, if I find time to view things online, so it's got to be an excuse.

One of my partners suggested I come on every day in order to stay on top. And so has Shlomo24. Hey Shlomo24! Thanks for all your incurregement! Sometimes I feel like this thread is just a public chat between the two of us!

Anyway, I come on sometimes and read forums, and I feel like I don't get some things that are being discussed in the forums. I mean, I know what they're talking about, but I don't get the little... humer? small things that are commented on between the lines? I feel like I belong to some big club, but I am being left out.

Between the two of us, I'm not even sure if I am an addict. I do have occasional falls and really can't control myself when I do. But I'm pretty sure that pornography is something I can do more or less without. I mean, I have my moments when I'm sitting there in front of the screen all board, and this strong urge tells me to search for something inappropriate, but I won't go over the moon in order to get to a screen. This urge does occasionally follow after hours of viewing clean content. Which brings me back to why I feel my bigger struggles here are - not to view stuff in the first place and daven with a minyan.

So sometimes I feel like my problem is pretty small, and probably not even considered a problem in the big pool of GYE. I have mentioned this to some of you and have been reassured that no matter what the problem, everyone is my friend on GYE. I appreciate it a lot and it brings me back every time. It's the only thing I know that has actually helped me out with my problem so far.

If anyone knows of a circle for people who want to give up internet surfing in general and have nisyonos davening with a minyan, please shout out.

IA - YA (For Internet Anonymous and Yochid Anonymous).

IA-YA2