i was wondering what is a fall exactly?

watching a video and see a video on the side not really tznius and clicking on it would be considered a fall?

or it has to be davka porn?

Hi Lamplighter,

See below, copied and pasted from GYE's FAQs.

Hatzlacha!

guardyoureyes.com/breakingfree/faq


Q. What constitutes a slip, and what constitutes a fall?

A. If you are keeping your own count, you can decide what you consider a slip or a fall. Whatever you decide to do, it's important to stick with the system you’ve chosen for yourself.

However, if you're using GYE's 90 Day System, you should go by their rules. According to the 90 Day Chart rules, if you clicked a link without really thinking, but then caught yourself and stopped, that would be considered a slip. A fall would be intentionally viewing inappropriate material for any amount of time, intentional masturbation, or worse behavior. (for more details, see rule #8 guardyoureyes.com/90-days-chart/rules)

If you are really afraid that restarting the count for something that is a grey area and came out of left field would put you down in the dumps and make it harder for you to continue progressing, at least make a condition that if you were to indulge in such a situation again in the future, it would be considered a fall.

At the end of the day, it's really not about the count. It's about improving. The count may go back to zero, but the days you were clean do not go to waste. Every day you were clean was an accomplishment and now it's time to get up and accomplish more. The main thing is that you should keep your spirits up and keep moving on. Imagine someone walking across town to get somewhere and in the middle he slips and falls on the ice. Does that send him all the way back home? Of course not. He just needs to get back up, brush himself off and continue!

I think he is asking for a definition of inappropriate material.

serenity wrote:


"I shall not today attempt further to define the kinds of material I understand to be embraced within that shorthand description [hard-core pornography]; and perhaps I could never succeed in intelligibly doing so. But I know it when I see it..."

Justice Potter Stewart, United States Supreme Court

Does the definition of inappropriate material changes as we become stronger in our struggle and in shmiras einayim? I feel like I, personally, can tolerate a fairly wide range of material without being triggered at this point. In reality, I may be more susceptible to influences than I realize, but I almost never see an image of a picture or a piece of art and feel uncomfortable.

I'm trying to be intentionally vague so as not to inadvertently bring someone to a trigger c"v! But I'm not sure I'm getting my question across. In my case, I grew up in a home with nude artwork on the walls. When I go to my childhood home, I see many of the same pieces of art and several new additions. I find these don't trigger anything in me; it's almost as if I view them in a dissociated, academic way. This is probably because I was so desensitized by growing up around nude artwork. As I work on shmiras einayim, I'm concerned that this will come to be a trigger. I can't very well avoid my parents' home. What can I do??

Can you live life one day at a time and address any feelings you have in future at that time?

Not specifically addressed ti you matt, but just in general, we give this stuff so much power. A painting on the wall, a link on the side, a woman in the street. Can't we just take a breath and move on. The more we fight this stuff, the more we engage in it. Can we just, take it easy and move on?

i just feel that with all the improvements i have done this past week it will be annoying to restart the count...

I wouldn't call it annoying, rather upsetting
we got to learn from our slips falls...
we can't live the same life and stay sober, we got to make real changes in our life and some times even to give up on normal pleasures.
Keep it up with a smile

I think that if one stops in the 3 sec' it's only a slip and we don't start a new count

thx to all of you for the answers and chizuk!

i had the same thing today while going in my cloud i realized that it automatically saves all my pictures and videos from my smartphone apparently a while ago i downloaded some porn so it was saved...

i checked what it was even though i was pretty sure of what it really was.

bh i closed it before anything sexual.

but i still feel bad about the fact that i didnt delete it right away:(

Don't sweat it!

keep smiling and keep moving and please read serenity's last post on this thread another time.

Begin to learn to enjoy your freedom from the slavery of lust while not removing your guard(following your program of success)even a smidgen.

You deleted it. That's what's important.

lamplighter wrote:
Don't feel bad. Just move on. Feeling bad keeps you in that bad moment, which is dangerous. Move on, and think positive thoughts.