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enough is enough!
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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!

TOPIC: enough is enough! 22246 Views

Re: enough is enough! 08 Sep 2019 05:38 #343418

  • i-man
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I agree with what you are saying,  unfortunately I don't find so easy to change my attitude...

Re: enough is enough! 10 Sep 2019 18:14 #343483

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Attitude is one of the hardest things to change. But why don't you try reading a couple of pages from that book a day? It's helpful over time. In fact, the author mentions in it that he wrote it to help people slowly change their attitude.
In the place where ba’alei teshuva stand, even pure tzaddikim who never sinned cannot stand. (Rabbi Avohu, Brachos 34b)

Best way to break free: https://guardyoureyes.com/ebooks/item/the-battle-of-the-generation. Try it and see!

Re: enough is enough! 24 Sep 2019 04:10 #343746

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Does anyone have Mareh Mekomos in which Dov discusses Therapy ?

Re: enough is enough! 26 Sep 2019 02:56 #343829

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So much stress before Yomtov - so much to prepare physical and spiritual,  financial pressure, less sleep due to selichot , work more hectic because of lost weekdays,  kollel harder to be areingetun due to all the above, and list could go on.
I'm not c'v complaining I'm privlidged to be part of all this , I'm just being cognizant to the reality that there are additional triggers now ( as well as the other yomtov triggers Rabbi Dr HHM elaborates on)  and I cannot let it go unchecked rather I must be focused on dealing with it appropriately. 

Re: enough is enough! 26 Sep 2019 02:58 #343830

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i-man wrote on 26 Sep 2019 02:56:
So much stress before Yomtov - so much to prepare physical and spiritual,  financial pressure, less sleep due to selichot , work more hectic because of lost weekdays,  kollel harder to be areingetun due to all the above, and list could go on.
I'm not c'v complaining I'm privlidged to be part of all this , I'm just being cognizant to the reality that there are additional triggers now ( as well as the other yomtov triggers Rabbi Dr HHM elaborates on)  and I cannot let it go unchecked rather I must be focused on dealing with it appropriately. 

Oh did I mention Teshuva-Guilt-perfectionism etc..

Re: enough is enough! 26 Sep 2019 03:23 #343832

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Man did you hit the nail on the head. Or better said, nails.
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: enough is enough! 26 Sep 2019 03:55 #343835

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I would also say that it's easier to push off acting out now or any particular moment  in Tishrei because of Din and Teshuva, but as soon as its over.... and this could be  happening subconsciously 
Last Edit: 26 Sep 2019 03:57 by i-man.

Re: enough is enough! 26 Sep 2019 11:24 #343847

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Maybea strategy would be to learn the sforim that explain to us that Hoshana Raba is a yom hadin. After Isru Chag,look into the chassidishe sforim that tell us the gmar chasima is Zos Chanuka.....

Either way, keeping clean in Elul Tishrei has the added psychological benefit that it shows a person, "Hey, I kept clean for a few weeks. It's not impossible. If I could do it then, I can set up motivation to do it other times of the year." Hatzlocha!
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: enough is enough! 23 Oct 2019 04:00 #344314

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i-man wrote on 26 Sep 2019 03:55:
I would also say that it's easier to push off acting out now or any particular moment  in Tishrei because of Din and Teshuva, but as soon as its over.... and this could be  happening subconsciously 

Yikes just slipped....caught myself ..
I think I need to accept that there will always be triggers in some form or another and I cant be busy looking for reasons why NOW it makes sense to fall , rather what should o be prepared for and how to prevent triggers from turning into actions.

Re: enough is enough! 24 Oct 2019 04:52 #344392

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err I thought I caught myself..
than I slipped and slipped some more till I fell .
the good news is that it was not as bad as it could have been (no I will not have to say all the parentheses next Yom Kippur...)

Re: enough is enough! 24 Oct 2019 05:05 #344395

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sorry to hear, chazak chazak gibor hachayal!
For an explanation on my choice of username and avatar see my first post

Re: enough is enough! 25 Oct 2019 04:50 #344447

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Do you have easy access to unfiltered devices buddy? Can this be avoided or will you run to Walmart to buy a phone if you don't have easy access? If it can be avoided, lets give up this pacifier once and for all.....
Feel free to contact me at michelgelner@gmail.com

My threads: Lessons Learned: guardyoureyes.com/forum/20-Important-Threads/335248-Lessons-Learned

                    My Story and G-d Bless GYE: guardyoureyes.com/forum/17-Balei-Battims-Forum/303036-My-story-and-G-d-bless-GYE

Re: enough is enough! 25 Oct 2019 07:13 #344452

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Hashem Help Me wrote on 25 Oct 2019 04:50:
Do you have easy access to unfiltered devices buddy? Can this be avoided or will you run to Walmart to buy a phone if you don't have easy access? If it can be avoided, lets give up this pacifier once and for all.....

B'H My devices are locked down pretty tight but can be improved,  and iy'H I will try to improve on that this year( as I told Hashem that I would on Y'K)
buying a cheap "aveiraphone" is a rare occurrence the opportunity is always there but I need to be in a really bad place to resort to that...

Re: enough is enough! 25 Oct 2019 07:21 #344453

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I did not want to post this but that probably means I should...
I fell again tonight,  earlier I got the post acting out depression and got slightly stuck in it the rest of the night, the filters saved me from accessing any real porn
​but it was to no avail,  I feel stupid this really pas nisht for me ...
I need to feel more fufilled and I need to learn how to deal with stress/anxiety 
I was set up with a therapist but that got derailed and the soton has been slowing me from getting a new one,  but I see that I have no choice..
Last Edit: 25 Oct 2019 13:13 by i-man.

Re: enough is enough! 25 Oct 2019 16:04 #344490

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thats why i said chazak chazak twice , one for your  first fall and one for your next fall, but notice that i didnt say vinischazek,because from here on it should be smooth sailing!please never hesitate to post,our respect for you has only grown.
hatzlacha!
For an explanation on my choice of username and avatar see my first post
Last Edit: 25 Oct 2019 16:05 by sleepy.
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