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TOPIC: Toughing it 8145 Views

Re: Toughing it 22 Jun 2015 17:19 #257378

  • shlomo613
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Shkoiach Polar Bear. Well done for so far. And Shkoiach for that bit of poetry above. I enjoyed it.
You should also have lots of little bears - but beware of Goldilocks..

Re: Toughing it 22 Jun 2015 17:40 #257384

  • serenity
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If your almost falling once a day, that means your not almost falling 100's of times a day. So 100's of times a day Hashem is giving you a reprieve from lust.
Much Hatzlacha!

My Threads:
Glad to be here
Don't slip it hurts
Lions & Tigers & Internet, Oh My!

--"ולא המדרש עיקר, אלא המעשה"
--"To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing." Mark Twain
--"If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking (or lusting), you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic (or sexaholic)." AA Big Book P. 45. Parenthesis added.
--You hit rock bottom when you decide to stop digging.

Re: Toughing it 23 Jun 2015 02:04 #257427

  • yiraishamaim
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As shlomo613 wrote, your post was so poetic. You have a life, a true quality of life.
Thank you for sharing.
You know it has been said that "a friend in need is a friend indeed." I think a real friend does even more. He shares in your joy when you experience it.

Ashrecha Polar Bear. Just read your responses.

You have indeed been zoche to have acquired friends that satisfy both of the above descriptions.
Last Edit: 23 Jun 2015 02:06 by yiraishamaim.

Re: Toughing it 25 Jun 2015 14:56 #257733

  • polar bear
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Shlomo 613: Whole new light on Goldilocks there, I have a strong urge to develop this - but I will leave it at that.

Serenity: Thank you for the positive inspiration. Although the reason 'once a day challenges' bother me is because back in my 'falling' days the Yetzer Hara grew on me only around once a week. So once a day feels more difficult. I'm not complaining. I'd rather a challenge once a day that ends in triumph over a weekly challenge that is lost.

Does anyone ever get this; You're just about to indulge in your lust, and just then the phone rings. By the time the call's over, someone has come home and you're no longer in isolation...

Well, I just had that x10. I was already in my pajamas about to go to bed, and was having my 'daily struggle' (or 'nightly struggle'), and someone called on the phone. I picked up and said that I was busy. It was a bunch of my friends 'forcing' me to come hang out with them. They would not take no for an answer. I got dressed and went out.

I had mentioned in thread 255885 (Im about to fall what should I do) about how I wish there was a 'GYE Hatzola' This was exactly how I imagined it. Dreams really do come true!

Re: Toughing it 02 Jul 2015 15:03 #258452

  • polar bear
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I think it's 8 weeks now. That's good.

I added a knas in the Taphsic tool for 'almost falling'. I think it did the trick. It's mad hard, but I don't like knases, so I'm gonna make it through. I hope.

Good luck guys.

Re: Toughing it 06 Jul 2015 22:16 #258833

  • polar bear
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Ok, so it worked. No more 'almost' struggles.

But I do feel kind of empty. I've started smoking a bit and over indulging on junk food as sort of a filler.

Any suggestions on how else I can fill this gap? My other filler is spending way too much time on GYE. But it gets in the way of other things I should be doing with my time.

Re: Toughing it 07 Jul 2015 07:44 #258869

  • Pidaini
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WOW!! What a loaded question!!

I think that was the hardest thing that I had to deal with when I was clean for around 8 months, and that is ultimately where the slipping started almost a year ago now!!

I think this is a fundamental challenge, one of great importance and it goes to our core......Who am I? What am I looking for in life?

I know for me that I never really answered the question and obviously never took action to get closer to where I really wanted to be.

Once I have the answer, I have to remember that a goal is one thing, and the journey, another. I have to take it slowly, one day at a time. I can clock my progress but not get complacent, to just keep on Trucking one foot in front of the other!

Of course, you should also realize that this is a sure sign that you are really sobering up, this is the ultimate withdrawal of "lust", the removing of the band aid and actually feeling the wound.

KUTGW!!!!!!

KOMT!!!!!
Yankel | My Ladder | Talking to Hashem
I'm just a dude, another guy on this bus.
Have a great day, unless, of course, you made other plans. ~ obbormottel
"Nothing changes as long as everything stays the same" ~ Dov

Re: Toughing it 07 Jul 2015 14:45 #258881

  • gevura shebyesod
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Pidaini wrote:
...to just keep on Trucking one foot in front of the other!
...


I guess your truck looks something like this...
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
!אנא עבדא דקודשא בריך הוא

וּבְיָדְךָ כֹּחַ וּגְבוּרָה וּבְיָדְךָ לְגַדֵּל וּלְחַזֵּק לַכֹּל


"If it would be so easy there wouldn't be a GYE, but if it would be impossible there also wouldn't be a GYE."
"Sometimes a hard decision leads to an easier outcome."
- General Grant


My story: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/111583-hello-my-friends

Re: Toughing it 07 Jul 2015 17:21 #258889

  • shlomo613
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polar bear wrote:
Ok, so it worked. No more 'almost' struggles.

But I do feel kind of empty. I've started smoking a bit and over indulging on junk food as sort of a filler.

Any suggestions on how else I can fill this gap? My other filler is spending way too much time on GYE. But it gets in the way of other things I should be doing with my time.

GYE is certainly a good place to be. Does jogging or swimming float your boat?
How about 15 minutes a day hisboidedus? Do it somewhere quiet away from distractions preferably late in the evening or early morning.
Every one of these suggestions, you only develop a pleasure in them after a few times. It's only sins that taste good from the start. And food.

Re: Toughing it 07 Jul 2015 19:06 #258904

  • gibbor120
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How about exercise, volunteer, call or get together with friends, start a hobby or project, go for a walk or hike...

Re: Toughing it 14 Jul 2015 20:42 #259459

  • polar bear
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Hey guys, thanks for the support!

I got rid of the junk food (I gave it out), and I got rid of the smoking (I smoked them all ).

I fell into 'almost' category again, and had to pay a small knas (I did the distractions beforehand). At least I didn't fall.

I'm going to 'up' the 'almost' knas, so I don't almost 'almost' .

Re: Toughing it 17 Jul 2015 16:54 #259739

  • polar bear
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Hello, it's day 71. But the numbers don't really matter as much as they did in the beginning.

My Shalom Bayis is going great. Not that I'm trying to deliberately cause a fight, but I can do something that used to trigger a fight and everything will pass smoothly.

I do exercise as a taphsic distraction. And then I continue to exercise just because it's fun. I'm feeling 10 years younger.

My struggle currently is on a new low (meaning that there's not much of a struggle). I do the taphsic distractions just because the distractions I chose are positive things to be doing, and just incase.

I feel at peace. I hope it continues this way.

P.S. gibbor - when I hang out with my friends there is usually a lot of smoking and junk food eating going on with them as well... It depends which group of friends though. One group only does the smoking and the other one only does the junk food... which one should I hang with? Wait... When I hang out with you guys I can't do either with you!
Last Edit: 17 Jul 2015 16:55 by polar bear.

Re: Toughing it 17 Jul 2015 20:09 #259747

  • gibbor120
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Hey, just do what works!

Re: Toughing it 19 Jul 2015 03:24 #259771

  • abd297
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I find that I have the same addiction. I also go to GYE whenever I go on the internet. I usually get caught up in the forums and get carried away. Before I know it, it's been and hour and a half and I don't remember what I wanted to do! It keeps me going. All the best. KOP
Let Hashem Do His Job!

We need to jump off the conveyor belt of life and walk on our own.

You cannot make yourself feel something you do not feel, but you can make yourself do right in spite of your feelings.

Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.

Re: Toughing it 23 Jul 2015 19:35 #260210

  • polar bear
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Things are tough.

I almost gave up recently. Well, I didn't give up on purpose, but a feeling came across me that this is so hard, and that I need a break. It's hard to fight that feeling off. I almost fell. Like a hair strand away. It's scary. I was basically saved by a knock on the door and I took that opportunity to drag myself out of the mud and climb up to higher grounds. I lost the motivation to go on, and the support is great but I am slowly becoming immune to gye. And I may need a stronger drug to stay clean.
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