Thanks for the update!!

Oh!! I haven't welcomed you yet!!

Welcome to GYE!!

I also use VCF, I also know some ways around it, but finding those ways has taught me something very important, nothing stands in the way of true will, and if I want it, I will get it!!

I certainly need to work a lot on identifying my lustful moods and thoughts and using the tools that I have to deal with them. Those tools are mostly just verbalizing them, to Hashem and/or to a friend, and doing both can't hurt (well, it can hurt, but it can't damage).

How have you been going on for 23 days now?

Don't be a stranger, KOP!!!

KOMT!!

Hi mevakeah,
It's nice to see you here.
Don't disappear for another 18 days. We were about to send out the search parties..
Have things been working well for you? Do you have a scheme outside of GYE that works for you?
All the best.
Shlomo

thank you for showing interest in me, I didn't want to bother anyone, but I guess I should, at least if I want to get the Chizik from the community.
there are a few points that helped me;
1. I read forums and GYE emails regularly.
2. i came to the realization that if I want to stop I need to stop way before the actual acting out, which includes trying not to fantasize and avoiding grey area for instance clips that are not kosher but not bad.
3. to understand this one I need to make some self disclosure. my mother had a hard time expressing love, it resulted in a great thirst for expressed loved physical and verbal, the issue is that my wife has similar challenges to my mother so I still feel a void.
when my wife says she is too tired etc. I feel very down and pain and anger build up and I end up acting out blaming my wife for it. now I decide that I will try to first really understand how difficult it is for my wife to run the fort and how exhausted she really is before I judge her. this helped me tremendously and as a result we had this week a 3 hour conversation about intimate issues [which never happened before] she explained to me that a lot of stuff is against her nature but she will work on it and I told her that I will be more empathic towards her.
YES, INDEED I AM A LUCKY MAN! U GUYS REALLY IMPROVED MY MARRIAGE.
for now I feel great with the support of you guys I WILL make it bazaars Hashem!

Have you ever done anything like therapy, or even pouring your heart out to a friend or Rebbi about the void you feel, about your childhood etc. It can be therapudic, and can help you quite a bit if you find the right person to talk to.

Thanks for sharing that. I can relate to a lot of what you are saying.

mevkesh1 wrote:


Thank you for the share and for this inspirational piece of advice.