People fall all the time....after 3 days, 8, 11, 16, 32, 50, 91, 158, 263, 652, etc.
The question is what do they do afterwards?
You say there's no hope.
Have you tried everythin'?
Above, you mentioned that you are on the 90 day chart and you read some stuff.
What do you read?
Who have you confided with?
Any mussar learned directed towards this?
Ever went to a meetin'?
Therapy?
Sponsor?
No hope!?

Depends on your effort.

There is a wealth of information out there.
And of course, there will be all the others who will tell you about other stuff with the fall...and that is good also.

So, what you say?

Thank you for your honesty. You're doing the right thing by being honest. I can relate to how bad you feel as I have been there, so you're not alone. The problem is that feeling bad and terrible never helped people like me in any way. So if you're like me, feeling terrible won't help you. We don't feel terrible while we are doing it and feeling terrible last time didn't stop us this time. There is always hope chaver! Just look at your post, 50 days clean! 50 nissim from the Abishter! Only an addict looks at that as a failure, tzadik.

I once fell as a bachur after 205 days clean . I was counting. I thought I was "better". One really tough temptation, and I came crashing down. I was really upset. I fell on and off for another 17 years or so. B"H, almost 6 years sober now. NEVER EVER GIVE UP!

Thanks for the chizzuk. It puts things into perspective. It helps me see it as attainable and not just for super strong people like you.

Thanx everyone, im back on track trying!

Ever since i fell, i cant get back to myself, i keep on falling!!!!!!!!!! How do i get back on track? Any ideas? Thanx everyone for being there!!

Does your acting out interfere with your life?

serenity: it doesnt really interfere with my life but i just feel terrible and feel like a jerk!!!!!!!!!!

Sasha 2 wrote:


Are you using porn or just thoughts or looks?

Just wrote a long comment and lost it . On my phone. Bottom line is, thanks for your honesty. How often are you acting out and for how long?

Hey, I feel your pain.

The main thing is to get up afterwards and not to look back. Just look forward. Try to 'numb' your sadness and forget about it. If you fall into despair after every time - then the Yetzer Hara got you twice. The idea is to regret the past, but not to mope about it.

You can do it!

Sasha 2 wrote:


If it doesn't interfere with your life, why do you feel terrible, and why a "jerk"?
If it's not interferin', why stop?

Thank G-D i dont have any access to porn these days so its only thoughts and looks thats getting me off almost daily ever since i fell, but of course its interfering with my life somewhat, its constantly on my mind that im no good bec of these things that im doing etc. & its causing me not to be involved in the proper things. However on the outside no one can tell that something is wrong, thats what i mean that it doesnt interfere.
In a way i feel like i dont even have hope now to get back on track, im not feeling the push!
Any ideas? Whats with the taphsic method?

I don't understand the tapshic method so I'll let someone else go ahead and explain that.

Thanks for answering my question regarding the porn vs thoughts. You're really lucky that it's "just" the thoughts.

I think you got some great advice there when they suggested that you figure out how acting out impacts your life. I wonder though if it might also make sense to list how acting out "helps" you. Because it's possible that deep down in your brain you have a little bit of a plan to think about sex, and it hurts to see this plan so you don't know it's there, and if you write down the seeming "advantages" of thinking about sex and masturbating you might also view such "advantages" more objectively. For example once I wrote down why I liked to masturbate, why it seems good to me, and I discovered that most of the time I'm actually not so happy with it. Specifically, if I haven't masturbated in a while then it feels great, I really like it, but once I fall of the wagon then I want to do it twice a day or once a day, or even every other day, and then it doesn't feel nearly as good. And if I hadn't written that down I would never have known. It's almost as if there's something in my head that shows me things in a light which is not very realistic. Like I'm not really as smart as I think I am.

That could provide a powerful motivation to dive into one of the many sobriety tools in the Handbook.

Sasha 2 wrote:


so, basically, it is interferin' with your life; you just are hidin' it from everyone else.
one thin' for sure, as an anonymous poster here, it's probably worth it to speak the true truth - as to how you really feel; not the way people view you.

regardin' the push to change - that's a biggie - not simple to overcome at the moment.
I've had that feelin' many a time.

b'hatzlachah to you