The reasons why I do it is first of all: since I have a low self esteem I dont really Have any friends, so when im bored I find nothing else to do but P and M . Also I Have digestive problems and have to go the bathroom about four times a day and sometimes I get bored there, so I start P and M.I want to make a rule by myself that I want bring my phone to the bathroom,but I get very bored , any ideas? I also do it because I have the taavah to do it.

Thanks for the share.

the 12 steps can help with low self esteem.
the fellows here might have ideas how to make friends.
there are many books and magazines or games or puzzles to bring into the bathroom.

taavah? Sadly, I don't believe that.
Yes, we have desire for sex, but four times in one day havin' sex with yourself is not really fulfillin' any desire - but maybe it is. It would probably be more of the former - that it is bein' used as an escape mechanism.

So, what's the plan?

First of all, dear Ich Bin Zainer, we on the forum are all your friends. We care about you very much. We want you to succeed in dealing with P&M, as well as in all the other aspects of your life.
Each one of us has what to add. I'm sure that you have many talents. Think about what things you are good at and focus on them. Try not to think about what you are not good at; we all have many shortcomings.

I believe that if you think of yourself as a good person, as you most definitely are one, and really believe it. You may be able to "convince" other people that maybe, just maybe, you are a worthwhile friend.

The way a person displays on his face as to how he views himself is the way others will view him.

I also have dealt with social issues. I will say that you must respect yourself.
Now, if you tell yourself, how can I respect myself when I do these things?!
You should answer yourself that you started these things when you were young and foolish.
You did not realize just how addictive these behaviors would become.
Now you are addicted. However, you realize that you have an addiction and you want to change! You are here using GYE, on the road to recovery imy"H!
This is truly a very special thing, is it not?

Additionally, I would add, I realized that when I started respecting others, they started respecting me as well.

I also have thought to myself, why do I want friends?
Seemingly this is a basic need which HaShem created in people.
Friends are good for a person because a person can grow from his friends.

What has worked for me to be well liked include, respecting ones self and others, trying to never hurt someone else, trying to do all the chasadim which are reasonably possible for me to do.

I realized that I can be a very outgoing person.


NOW, I will ask you: why is there internet on the phone of a bachur your age?
Do you absolutely need that access to the internet?
I have a job which would be made easier with a smartphone, yet, I've pushed off the urge to get one numerous times to avoid the dangers.
Are your parents in charge of the cell phone plan?
Do they know about your struggles?
Have them block the internet.

We are with you.

Hatzlacha Rabbah!!)

ich bin zainer wrote:
So perhaps you need to work on getting friends. Also, why not find some kosher reading material for the bathroom? Are there any projects you could get involved in that would include social interaction? Perhaps you can find out about some volunteer opportunities.

Just giving you some food for thought.

Ok Im going to be very honest. After about 5 awsome days of being clean I can not seem to get more than 1 day before falling again. I lost my motitation for stopping,but Im not letting go knowing how important this is for me. What should I do ? Im thinking of calling my sponser ,but Im nervous to do so, giving away my number. Can I call anonymously? p.s I got a puzzle game for the bathroom.

In the US, dial *67 before the exchange. That blocks your number.

ich bin zainer wrote:


An anonymous sponsor!?

Hmmm....do ya' think that'll work?

find yourself one friend on this site.

Perhaps begin there.

b'hatzlachah

I realized over Shabbos that masturbating and porn have ruined my life. Im realizing the only way to confidence and less anxiety is to quit masturbating. What should be the first steps for me a Yeshiva Bachur? I want to make An important point over here especially for parents. For the part 5 years you know how I looked at porn. A flip phone. Yes a flip phone.people think flip phones arent dangerous so why block the internet. Let me tell you a flip phone could also be used to look at porn.SoI beg you parents.Make sure your child has absolutely no internet access.even on his flip phone. and also make sure only you know how to turn the internet on and off because its fairly easy for your child to call the company and give the answer to the security question and change the settings . Make sure the security question is only something you will know and not him. Please do this before its too late.

We are here with you. pick yourself up and take it one day at a time!