Ive been clean for two days already which is a big deal for me.

KUTGW! Don't look back. Keep moving forward!

Ive done four days so far and i feel more energized than i have felt in a long time.the reason i stopped was because i was lacking energy.but mitoch shelo lishma ba lishma.any suggestions how to proceed?

Keep flying in the same direction:)

Sit down and write out what made you fall in the past, and then focus on finding ways to prevent it from happening again. Now's the perfect time to get proactive and plan for the future. And it's amazing to hear that you're still clean! You rock bro! KOMT!

Im losing motivation and if I keep going in this direction a fall is inevitable. What should I do?

I just fell and i feel teribble.when you have the taava you feel like you have got the ultimate pleasure but right after your done you feel like its the ultimate garbage.

But you made it through 5 days! That's an accomplishment you get to keep. Now get up and do it again!

What have your recovery steps been?

What steps should I take?

it is difficult to say that when we don't know what steps you have taken.

Perhaps a brief history (on this thread) of your past would be beneficial as well.

Im a Nineteen year old Bachur learning in a very good Yeshiva. I started masturbating when I was about Thirteen and still do on a daily basis .Sometimes only once a day but sometimes even five times.Last year I had a bad year socially, emotionally, and spiritually. This year is much better, and my self esteem is much higher than before. I still have alot of work ahead of me but its going well.I want to stop masturbating because this stops me from being able to concentrate on my learning and my social and emotional growth.It zaps me of my energy. I really feel alot more energy now after about Three days clean.I had alot of urges and almost fell but stayed strong. Have to Go, but will write more later. IBZ

thanks for the share.
So why do you think you do it?
Is it so enjoyable?
Are you escapin' from somethin'?
Does it help your self esteem, or does it deflate it?
Have you ever told anyone about this?

b'hatzlachah

Ich Bin- you are a brave young man. Cordnoy asked you some questions. Be extra brave and look into yourself for the answers. Understanding yourself will help you deal with how you are acting.

Keep Shtark!

Dear IBZ.

I just read through all of your previous posts.

It seems to me that you've been going through some emotional difficulties. These seem to be making it more difficult to stay away from masturbation.

What others have been telling you here seems to be as follows: these types of issues are not purely related to spirituality. Meaning, someone can be a yirai shamayim and still have these issues. You should know that you are a great bachur and HaShem loves you. Also, focusing on the fact that it is an aveirah is simply not enough. I used to feel guilty that I couldn't just stop because it is an aveirah. I thought I lacked yiras shamayim. However, this is the nature of these ta'avos; they are extremely strong.

I was told that the Gr"a says (I don't know where, perhaps in Mishlei) that before a person is in the clutches of the aveirah, he can use fear of Heaven to stop himself. However, once he is in the clutches of the aveirah, fear of Heaven is not enough and he needs fear of people.

We see that this is much more powerful than us, therefor we must put up all the right gedarim so that we don't get anywhere close.

Like it was said we have to use the motivation of wanting to have a normal, functioning life, where we do what we really want. We all know and feel that we don't want P&M.

It seems to me that you should do major work on your emotional issues. I believe P&M will be a much easier thing to work on when you are in a healthier state of mind.

Don't think that dealing with P&M will be this hard forever, although constant work is required.

You can do this, we are all in the same boat.

You will do this and so will I imy"H!

P.S. I am a bachur of 22. Don't wait until you are my age, I advise you to do everything you can to fix P&M addiction now. I still struggle.