Bigmoish wrote:

Yes , i was just saying think about wife Mural size and about sil old stamp size or not at all. but i was writing what will i have done. Cant wear your shoes.

I have done it many times, so the thought is a good one. I invariably end up lingering on the good qualities of the wrong woman for several days after such an exercise.

first of all i empathize and wish you hatzlacha.
about lingering on good qualities , deception is as real as reality;we deceive ourselves thinking many good qualities almost about anything in life until we , buy it , live it, drink it , etc. You cant ever know a woman in reality until you marry her then all the little surprises come to light. The same story applies to "the wrong woman". It is all a trick of the mind.

my thought is to focus on actions to increase love for wife....nothin' else (and not in contrast to anyone)......plus continue the steps.

b'hatzlachah

cordnoy wrote:

Was a much easier task with the daily phone call

Bigmoish wrote:


will try this week - sorry.

Hi Moish!!!

Thanks for the wake up call!!

Didn't realize you were sleeping.
My apologies.

Bigmoish wrote:


Aren't we all?

Bigmoish wrote:


Did you seriously think that I'm awake and not posting?! What do you think I am?

Bigmoish wrote:


The situation at hand doesn't appear to be changing.
I won't be going to therapy until my wife wants me to.
She wants to constantly know "how I'm doing," but she only wants to hear that I'm doing good. Oh, and she also doesn't believe me no matter what I say, and she certainly doesn't want to hear that I'm still attracted to her sister, even if I am dealing with it much better.
Since I have to lie to her anyway, I feel like it might just be better to basically cease my activity here (and gmail and calls and texts and whatsapp) and at least be honest with her that she's the only one I discuss it with.
Will the fantasies stop? No.
Will they ever stop? At this point, I doubt it.
Still, I feel like I'm doing a disservice to my wife by not being completely one minded with her.
Not sure if this makes sense, but nothing really does anymore.

Hi BigMoish,
I've just now read the most recent posts on your thread. I'm sorry I haven't got time to read everything at this moment but I will BN catch up later.
I'm sorry to hear that you have this difficulty with your SIL. I'm sure glad that mine isn't attractive. And that I'm not attracted to my brothers' wives who are good looking.
Is there a way you can drastically minimise meeting her say to once a year or so? (I just happened to see in Sefer Chasidim siman 173 this morning that someone who can't get a certain woman out his mind, his takana is to move somewhere else.)

Once a week would actually be an improvement, but that is somewhat besides the point of this conversation.

Man, You're seeing her far too often. You're being bombarded.
I'd assume the point of this conversation would be strategies to minimise your temptation?