I feel like i am going to break my 90 days. i know its stupid and thats its my yetzer hara fooling me. He is telling me-
"whats the use you are not going to stay away from movies anyways. look at how far you've come you NEED this outlet. You are not doing anything majorly wrong just watching a few movies".
Though i know this is a path of a downward spiral and i really want to break free, but it looks like its inevitable so whats the use. My Yetzer also says "I already know what people are going to respond so whats the point. I have heard all the counter arguments".
So hear is my shot in reaching out. Bracing myself for disappointment yet hoping for something useful.

That's why I never think of the inevitable (at least I shouldn't), for I know I will fall, so what the heck? If I don't think about the future, I can focus on the now, and the moment before me is the only one I have control of.

b'hatzlachah (if you want it).

if you think its inevitable, you will fall

its your choice! Not the yetzers.

WHAT DO YOU WANT?

To fall or not? To ruin your life or to live your live?

YOU PICK! YOU HAVE THE POWER

Thank you for your help and words of encouragement.
I don't know how to stop thoughts (such as "it's inevitable") and not for lack of trying.
So this is what is present for me now this thought that it will eventually happen. For now I am (with Hashem's grace) choosing to go to sleep, but I know I will be here again very soon...

dear simple,
i guess life isn't
if i may give my two cents,
you should take a time out and think about the concept on movies, do you really realise that they can knock you of balance? or deep down are you thinking "big deal a couple of movies, everyone watches". my friend, my experience is the yetzer does this to catch you. blow your mind.grab your fantasy. and slowly drag you somewhere that you don't wanna go.
and although there is the one day at a time approach, which works for many, there is also another approach, which relates to me personally better.
yes, think about the future, do you want to be someone moral and clean? do you want movies and entertainment to be part of your life? do you want clear hashkofos about what you do in your free time and how you unwind?
take your 90 to the next step. inside yourself. let your whole being decide the question: Who am i?

I think it was Henry Ford that said:
"whether you think you can or you think you can't, you are right"

I mean that we can choose what we do. Yes sometimes we have bad thoughts but we don't have to act on them. But if I constantly think that I am going to fall, I am most likely going to fall.

So I am saying don't think like that. Just think about today. Btw lavi, there is no steera. I agree with you. You are speaking of decision making, as in why don't I want to fall (think about you're future) but HOW I don't fall is different. I JST have to take it one day at a time, even moment, because I know I am kaput if I think more than that. I will get anxious and nothing will get done and I probably will fall.

Anyhow, try not to get too hard in your self!

Welcome to GYE!! It's a great place to be part of!!

Don't be a stranger, we're all in the same boat, struggling, falling, getting back up, and growing!!

I'm currently a bit over 2 months clean, how about you? What do you struggle with? How long has it been? What have you done to try and stop?

KOP (Keep on Posting)!!! KOT(rucking)!!!!

WELCOME Simply613! It's nice to have you with us. Why don't you tell us more about yourself and your struggles? Have you read the handbook? Did any of it resonate with you?

Hatzlacha!

yo dms
i agree with what you saying, only i really meant what i said.
for me the thoughts of the future is also the HOW not to fall. ok it doesn't work for everyone, but it works for me. i have an image of myself and i want to get there one day, and when i feel low, it picks me up.

Thank you all for your support and welcoming me to the group. I have tried the 90 day chart in the past. never maid it to 90 came back under different names. For now my my abstinence includes watching movies at home. I figure let me stay far away from provocation. It gets difficult at times. I find it to be a relaxing, self soothing activity. though one movie can turn to two etc... (need I say more?) I did not go through the handbook in its entirety. I am in therapy and am very much involved in personal growth.
Thanks again for responding and encouraging me to keep posting
I hope this can be a helpful alternative to loneliness

How is movies letting you stay far away from provocation?

hi
i think he means that by relaxing with movies, he escapes the lusting urge.
you know, i went through a stage like this. i made a deal with the yetzer, i'll chill watching movies, and you don't drive me crazy. it even worked for a period.
what happened? he won. why?
1) the movies left me in a haze unable to do anything positive and definitely not in the frame of mind to correct the original problem.
2) they always throw in a scene or two, (because they live with these "high" values.
3) he gets me glued to the screen, with a click away to....(if i really in a bad mood).
bottom line: he wants me to slide down the tube - youtube- into the cesspool. and he says "enjoy your ride- present from the devil:evil: "

Are you going to therapy for this problem, if not have you told your therapist about it?

dms1234 wrote:


Ditto on that.

I know, everyone is different, but movies are poison for me.

If I don't watch movies at all I won't watch movies. If i start with, "well, this ones is 100% kosher" it's only a step a way from, "this one is 99.99% kosher".

Maybe for other people it's fine, but for me it's the first sip which needs to be avoided like the plague.