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On the Way to 90-Days

My 90-Day Journey
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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!
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TOPIC: My 90-Day Journey 25716 Views

Re: My 90-Day Journey 06 Jul 2015 01:24 #258749

  • serenity
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Hey TC!
Much Hatzlacha!

My Threads:
Glad to be here
Don't slip it hurts
Lions & Tigers & Internet, Oh My!

--"ולא המדרש עיקר, אלא המעשה"
--"To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing." Mark Twain
--"If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking (or lusting), you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic (or sexaholic)." AA Big Book P. 45. Parenthesis added.
--You hit rock bottom when you decide to stop digging.

Re: My 90-Day Journey 27 Jul 2015 16:37 #260344

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So for me, and I guess all of Klal Yisrael, the time between Tisha B'av and Rosh HaShana is introspection and growth time, to the max. But one of the best personal insights I've gained since starting this recovery thing about a year ago is that stilted grandiose declarations of intent, e.g., "Today is Rosh Chodesh, a great day for me to start my 90-Day clean streak, etc.," imbue the process with too much emotional energy, I think. I've really tried to avoid that kind of thinking, really, overthinking in general, and just do the work without the frills and fanfare.

I've been posting more on other people's threads than my own, which is not good, so I'll post more here (b'li neder). And talk more about successes and failures with everyone.
0% Tolerance and 100% Self-Forgiveness.
Lo ba-shamayim hi
Mellow out.

Re: My 90-Day Journey 27 Jul 2015 19:36 #260355

  • TalmidChaim
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Thanks a lot, 9494! Yeah, it's hard to overstate just how wonderful the community here is!
0% Tolerance and 100% Self-Forgiveness.
Lo ba-shamayim hi
Mellow out.

Re: My 90-Day Journey 27 Jul 2015 20:30 #260364

  • cordnoy
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Welcome back to your recovery growth.

Bhatzlachah
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: My 90-Day Journey 27 Jul 2015 21:52 #260378

  • TalmidChaim
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Thanks, Cordnoy!
0% Tolerance and 100% Self-Forgiveness.
Lo ba-shamayim hi
Mellow out.
Last Edit: 27 Jul 2015 21:52 by TalmidChaim.

Re: My 90-Day Journey 27 Jul 2015 22:00 #260380

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TalmidChaim wrote:
Thanks, Cordnoy!


Pleasure.

What are friends for?
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: My 90-Day Journey 29 Jul 2015 21:49 #260539

  • TalmidChaim
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One of the things I'm focusing on now was mentioned in one of Cordnoy's insightful posts. He paraphrased the SA handbook, I think, which spoke about weathering the feeling of lust, in so many words. How it's okay to feel that way and NOT doing anything, something I'm realizing is really fundamental to my problem. It's a simple insight, which is why it's probably so frequently overlooked.

I act out to exorcise the feeling of desire, never letting the wave ebb. I guess I need to learn to surf (que song: Miser-Lou).
0% Tolerance and 100% Self-Forgiveness.
Lo ba-shamayim hi
Mellow out.
Last Edit: 29 Jul 2015 21:50 by TalmidChaim.

Re: My 90-Day Journey 29 Jul 2015 23:04 #260542

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TalmidChaim wrote:
One of the things I'm focusing on now was mentioned in one of Cordnoy's insightful posts. He paraphrased the SA handbook, I think, which spoke about weathering the feeling of lust, in so many words. How it's okay to feel that way and NOT doing anything, something I'm realizing is really fundamental to my problem. It's a simple insight, which is why it's probably so frequently overlooked.

I act out to exorcise the feeling of desire, never letting the wave ebb. I guess I need to learn to surf (que song: Miser-Lou).


I only know simple stuff....the deep insights I leave for the scholars on this site.
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: My 90-Day Journey 29 Jul 2015 23:44 #260545

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That's a very deep insight.
Much Hatzlacha!

My Threads:
Glad to be here
Don't slip it hurts
Lions & Tigers & Internet, Oh My!

--"ולא המדרש עיקר, אלא המעשה"
--"To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing." Mark Twain
--"If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking (or lusting), you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic (or sexaholic)." AA Big Book P. 45. Parenthesis added.
--You hit rock bottom when you decide to stop digging.

Re: My 90-Day Journey 29 Jul 2015 23:48 #260548

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serenity wrote:
That's a very deep insight.


I don't even understand that.
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: My 90-Day Journey 30 Jul 2015 01:06 #260553

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I don't think we're supposed to understand that one.
0% Tolerance and 100% Self-Forgiveness.
Lo ba-shamayim hi
Mellow out.

Re: My 90-Day Journey 30 Jul 2015 01:49 #260559

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Well I'm feeling kind of dumb. What are you talking about? Maybe cords can write "I don't understand" and get away with it, because he's brilliant, but I really don't understand so I have to pretend that I do! Maybe you can quote Cordnoys whole post that you were referring to, (as he himself is fond of doing).
What does it mean "weathering the feeling of lust", and why is it okay to NOT do anything? The part about "frequently overlooked" I think I did get. That's common by me, (anyone see my keys?)
TC
I act out to exorcise the feeling of desire, never letting the wave ebb. I guess I need to learn to surf

If I am understanding it correctly (probably not) and the wave is lust, why would surfing help? You'd want the wave to be gone altogether.
BIG SHOT!
Free Choice?!
Yirai's Memories
STORY TIME :)

Dr. Seuss - You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own, and you know what you know. And you are the guy who'll decide where to go.

FSKOT! (Fell Shmell--Keep on Trucking) (The Rebba R' Bards)

613stillgoing@gmail.com
Last Edit: 30 Jul 2015 01:51 by stillgoing.

Re: My 90-Day Journey 30 Jul 2015 02:43 #260564

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stillgoing wrote:
Well I'm feeling kind of dumb. What are you talking about? Maybe cords can write "I don't understand" and get away with it, because he's brilliant, but I really don't understand so I have to pretend that I do! Maybe you can quote Cordnoys whole post that you were referring to, (as he himself is fond of doing).
What does it mean "weathering the feeling of lust", and why is it okay to NOT do anything? The part about "frequently overlooked" I think I did get. That's common by me, (anyone see my keys?)
TC
I act out to exorcise the feeling of desire, never letting the wave ebb. I guess I need to learn to surf

If I am understanding it correctly (probably not) and the wave is lust, why would surfing help? You'd want the wave to be gone altogether.


1. I'm not brilliant at all.
2. I'm not sure what he quoted from me, and I certainly didn't understand the ebbin' and surfin' and Les Mesoire part of it.
3. What i did understand, and perhaps i wrote it someplace, is as follows: We get all caught up in the feelin'..."oh no, I'm lustin'," or, "I really wanna do this and this," and sometimes out fightin' it even gets us to desire more, all i was sayin' or all that i'm sayin' now is that it's ok: yes, you wanna, and yes you're in the mood to...., and life goes on. I'm not gettin' involved in this post what you should do about it. All i'm sayin' (for that's all i know) is that feelin' is ok....we are human; we lust, and "we" especially do, so keep on livin' life.

b'hatzlachah
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: My 90-Day Journey 30 Jul 2015 15:41 #260579

  • TalmidChaim
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Cordnoy,

That sums it up, basically. There's no use overthinking it, and that's the point I was attempting to make: The feeling of lust goes away, and sometimes needs to be waited out. Desire happens, and doesn't need to be removed (though asking HaShem to take away is a good idea).

The surf song, Miser-Lou, was an obscure reference, yeah. You'd probably recognize it, though, if you heard it.

(StillGoing,

My surfing metaphor I still think is apt though. We ask to have the desire taken away, but sometimes (for me, a lot of the times), it doesn't go away. What happens then? Surfing out the wave means accepting the feeling. Simply put, it's okay to have the feeling; it won't hurt you.

I'm sorry I didn't put in a direct quote. I remember the post from a month or so ago, and it just recently resonated with me. I'm not sure how I could find it; Cordnoy is, thankfully, quite prolific.)
0% Tolerance and 100% Self-Forgiveness.
Lo ba-shamayim hi
Mellow out.
Last Edit: 30 Jul 2015 15:45 by TalmidChaim.

Re: My 90-Day Journey 02 Aug 2015 13:47 #260678

  • TalmidChaim
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It was a hard Shabbat, mentally: idle time is my worst enemy. But I made it through, clean, B"H.
0% Tolerance and 100% Self-Forgiveness.
Lo ba-shamayim hi
Mellow out.
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