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On the Way to 90-Days

My 90-Day Journey
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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!
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TOPIC: My 90-Day Journey 25007 Views

My 90-Day Journey 06 May 2014 16:45 #231223

  • TalmidChaim
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Hey Everyone,

Thanks, already, for the outpouring of support and motivation! I'm five days into this haul, and still very motivated.

My first thoughts (read: anxieties) moving forward, however, are related to what happens when this initial dopamine rush of optimism fades, as rushes are wont to do. We all know, especially as men with addictive and obsessive personalities, that there's a biochemical fix associated with new and exciting things. The GYE journey, for me, now, is new and exciting. But what happens after ten days, twenty days, B"H...90 days? I'm beginning to see the wisdom in the old adage, one day at a time. But I'm also eager to benefit from the erudition of the veteran (and freshman) tzadikim here on GYE.

Thank you so much!
0% Tolerance and 100% Self-Forgiveness.
Lo ba-shamayim hi
Mellow out.
Last Edit: 06 May 2014 16:46 by TalmidChaim.

Re: My 90-Day Journey 06 May 2014 17:19 #231226

  • cordnoy
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We only think of today....sorry I can't help you.
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: My 90-Day Journey 06 May 2014 20:23 #231234

  • TalmidChaim
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No need to apologize; that's actually helpful, and what I was thinking as well. Getting this done, day by done, is no small thing. And if it works, then it works!
0% Tolerance and 100% Self-Forgiveness.
Lo ba-shamayim hi
Mellow out.

Re: My 90-Day Journey 06 May 2014 20:27 #231235

  • cordnoy
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my battle today is every minute.
cannot vanquish the dragon.
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: My 90-Day Journey 06 May 2014 20:32 #231236

  • unanumun
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I can freshman advice.
I also was very into counting the days at the beginning and was a little disturbed that everyone was telling me not to. I mean, why not? let feel a little good.
But the truth is, I felt that once I got through the first two weeks or so, I was already starting to feel the benefits. Also, I was starting to focus on each nisayon as it came up, particularly because i was obsessed with the days and it was on my mind.
But eventually I got into the routine of focusing on nisayon at a time (or one day at a time, however you want to word it.) and lo and behold, I stopped paying attention to the days.
once and a while I remember but it is less of an obsession. SO let it play it's course and when you hit 14 days take stock again. ALso the first time is different than the next times probably.

Re: My 90-Day Journey 06 May 2014 20:44 #231241

  • TalmidChaim
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Good advice. Yeah, when I think ahead a month or two, I really see the counting days (which we're already doing this time of year anyway ) as getting a little old.

I really like the idea of doing this nisayon by nisayon, not that I'm looking forward in anyway at all to the next appearance of the Yetzer HaRa! But I've already weathered some impure thoughts and temptations, and it is a very affirming experience.

Cordnoy, I think your military metaphor is very appropriate, haha.
0% Tolerance and 100% Self-Forgiveness.
Lo ba-shamayim hi
Mellow out.

Re: My 90-Day Journey 06 May 2014 20:48 #231242

  • cordnoy
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I've been doin' a lot of shootin' today, but the damn thing keeps poppin' it's fat ugly head!
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: My 90-Day Journey 06 May 2014 21:11 #231243

  • TalmidChaim
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Stay strong, brother. If there's anything I could do to help, let me know.
0% Tolerance and 100% Self-Forgiveness.
Lo ba-shamayim hi
Mellow out.

Re: My 90-Day Journey 06 May 2014 21:19 #231248

  • cordnoy
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yes...remind me what hell looked like last january
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: My 90-Day Journey 06 May 2014 22:11 #231252

  • TalmidChaim
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A lot of white, white snow... Haha.
0% Tolerance and 100% Self-Forgiveness.
Lo ba-shamayim hi
Mellow out.

Re: My 90-Day Journey 06 May 2014 22:33 #231258

  • cordnoy
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not where I was it wasn't
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: My 90-Day Journey 07 May 2014 19:02 #231298

TalmidChaim wrote:
...The GYE journey, for me, now, is new and exciting. But what happens after ten days, twenty days, B"H...90 days? ...


The holy sforim ask: Why was it necessary to force the Yidden to accept the Torah by putting the mountain over their head? They already agreed wholeheartedly when they said Naaseh venishma.

And the holy sforim answer: Hashem knew that the initial excitement will eventually wear off. So He was training them that even when the novelty wears off and the going gets tough, we just "have to" stick to it as if our life depends on it (and it does).

This may be one of the key differences between those who manage long-term sobriety and those who do not. A strong commitment can go a long way, i.e. a realization that this test is actually a choice of life vs. death - uvacharta bachaim.

Hatzlacha

MT
Last Edit: 07 May 2014 19:03 by Machshovo Tova.

Re: My 90-Day Journey 07 May 2014 19:29 #231299

  • cordnoy
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Right on!

I have been sayin' lately, "Second looks or thoughts = Death!"

b'hatzlachah
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads: Mikvah Night - Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Last Page

https://guardyoureyes.com/forum/1-Break-Free/210029-Tryin
:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!
My job: Punchin' bag of GYE - "NeshamaInCharge"
Quote from the chevra: "Is Cordnoy truly a Treasure Island pirate from the Southern Seas?"

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: My 90-Day Journey 08 May 2014 00:38 #231325

  • TalmidChaim
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So, I had a fall. Interestingly, it was one day shy of my current and still standing clean-streak, 7 days. I half-expected to fall today, maybe out of some deep-seeded inclination towards self-sabotage, or maybe because I knew today would be stressful. I had to take a tough exam in the morning, and as I was preparing for it, I felt my defenses falter, my resolve weaken. I gave in, almost wholeheartedly, to the prospect of succumbing into lust literally hours before I actually fell.

This is, obviously, very discouraging, but I did glean some important data from the experience. There's a definite pattern at play here. As a science-y geek, I'm going to put this information to good use and be extra careful with myself in these situations.

Sufficed to say, I'm resolved to get past my 7 day clean streak, even on to 90 and beyond!

Thanks again for all of your support!
0% Tolerance and 100% Self-Forgiveness.
Lo ba-shamayim hi
Mellow out.
Last Edit: 08 May 2014 00:41 by TalmidChaim.

Re: My 90-Day Journey 08 May 2014 01:13 #231330

TalmidChaim wrote:
So, I had a fall...I'm resolved to get past my 7 day clean streak, even on to 90 and beyond!...


Sorry about your fall. Hatzlacha on your new, fresh, clean journey.

Reminder: Whether you pass 7 days or 90 days, the only way to get there is ONE DAY AT A TIME. It's guaranteed to work if you commit yourself to stay clean "just for today". Cuz if you think about it, whenever you fall (or anybody), you always fall on a day that is known as "today". So that is the only day you need to focus on and you got it made.

Hatzlacha

MT
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