I'll send my pirush on the Haggada first. I lent the manuscript on S"S to my friend Boruch Schwartz [He's probably Sitting with Esti Friedstein by now reading it to her].

well i just came home from yeshiva and saw my sister who just came from israel.as i told you guys from my previos thread that i have social anxiety.so anyway i was never really close with my sister and now i get anxios just speaking to her.im getting very sad that this could be my last cgance to get to know my sister before she starts shiduchim but i cant because of my stupid social anxiety.i always had trouble getting close to people but with low self esteem and social anxiety thats rather impossible.all you guys that could have a normal conversation with someone without feeling judged are blessed.you cant imagine how hard life is with social anxiety.im going to my therapist on tuesday hopefully it will help.

i feel like bein hazmanim will be a hard time to stay clean.i made a tafsik that i would fast till 5pm the next day if i fell it already saved me.would it make sence tn also make a big reward to make a big reward if i dont fall the whmnle bein hazmanim. ex.4 rolls of sushi.or do prizes nnt work by this sort of thing

A good Rav or therapist is worth all the sushi in the world. Prizes, Taphsic, are relatively weak. If you have social anxiety talking to your own sister, and are seeing a therapist, it sounds like you are well beyond those helping that much. It's like putting a bandaid on a gunshot wound. The benefit is mostly cosmetic.

Focus on the therapy. Is it helping? How is it going? How long have you been going? Have you made progress? Let us know. Keep us posted.

your very right that the main thing should be taking care of this problem first but..tafsik also did get me out of falling once.so gm going to do both.you wrote you wanted to hear about this issue and progres.well i just wemt like 2 weeks ago after my teacher told my father after a long time of me pushing off to tell my father/a year/.the first session went pretty well.the therapist gave me a workbook to do.i looked ahead of where i was supposed to g and i really makes sence so i hope it wil help.also i just want to point out before i went to therapy i thougt i would be very scary/nurses asking you embarresing questions,waiting room with like 20 people in it etc but it was nothing of the sort.but anyway im going tommorow ill try to post how it wen

Definitely go for sushi. Sushi is very important.

Maybe you should go for some sushi with your sister...

On a serious note [not that sushi isn't serious, some people take it VERY seriously] keep going to the therapist, and keep making progress. You ARE making very much progress based on all the postings you're doing. You're doing great! Remember, it's about PROGRESS not PERFECTION.

halachic question.can i say holy words in the bathroom if it will distract me from lust amd mast?

I believe the Bnei Yisaschar says it's permitted based on a certain Sefer Chassidim [which shouldn't be publicized on such a forum]. I wouldn't go for it though, 'cuz when's the last time holy thoughts helped me "outside" of the bathroom! ...Understand?

Hi IBZ!

I think the Mishna Brura says that you can think divrei torah if that is the only way to distract yourself, but not to say them. It's better to think of other "neutral" interesting things though, such as math problems or interesting buildings or whatever.

I posted the reference once but i cant find it right now.

I read the 12 and 12 in the bathroom, which seems almost a contradiction. if it's spiritual enough to help then maybe it's too spiritual for the bathroom.

at times in yeshiva I took seforim with me into the bathroom as I felt that the trade-off of aveiros was worth it. but then again I also masturbated in the beis hamedrash once so if i personally would have refused to take seforim in the bathroom which might have helped, I would certainly have been a terrible hypocrite.

I masturbated at work. I keep bits of paper in my pocket, I am not frum, but I take these bits everywhere. They contain the 12 steps and a list of what i can change and what i can't change, and also prayers of course... Taking the paper out of the pocket is huge actually for me...

Gevura Shebyesod wrote:


It should be 85, 2 but I'm in the bathroom now and can't check. And what I wrote yesterday b'shem the Bnei Yisaschar- Yesterday I "Believed" he said so, today I no longer believe so.

any ideas for an exuse to tell my siblings when im going to a therapist? asap

learning how to deal with their issues

ich bin zainer wrote:

Why not just be honest? They must realize that you have social anxiety. Why not just tell them.