Hey guys,
How is it going for you Cordnoy?
This is the time where I want to dig into a hour of porn to release tensions and tress.
There is a struggle inside of me that makes no sense. One quick peep .. No that would ruin it ... No it wouldn't , I'll just look at it quickly and get back to what I was doing .. It didn't work last time...
Even after I decide that I'm not going to view, my mind will keep on questioning. Won't let me just go on. I have to keep on reminding myself of the 90 days, my life ahead of me, G-d, myself, my dignity. However the lust doesn't seem to remember all these answer, or it doesn't care. It just want to satisfy itself.

im struggling as well
keep the faith
don't have tayva to look at porn though
tayva for wife, which translates into lust
and tayva to "just" email woman friend and tell her where im holdin
what can be so wrong with just droppin her a note?
im not skypin her
im not doing anything assur
whats the harm?
hu?

cordnoy wrote:


Tayva is lust. And lust kills.

That's harmful enough.

(Thanx for the reminder.)

MT

yep
hope you realized that last part of my comment was a bit sarcastic to myself
just the y"H talkin

stayrein wrote:

You can't reason with lust. End the conversation, and go do something else productive.

just a note, try making today just as important as the 90 days, if you start doig that now, hopefully then you won't crash when the 90 day finish line is behind you, for TODAY will be just as important!!

KOT KOMT!!!

I'm not married so i don't' necessarily understand Cornoys struggle. I have a deep struggle with Porn. I can go Without M-ing, but Porn is a killer.
Pidani, you are too right about the now and 90 days.

I am in a little dilema, as I watched porn, but did not M. Is that considered a slip for 90 day?

Maybe a little help here.

Thanks

I wish it was that easy. Lust does not stop. It pecks away like a woodpecker to a tree. I feel that the only way to get rid of it is by lusting. Thatis obviously very wrong, but true to me.
I feel that I need to just satisfy it's call.
How can I change conversation, if it's the only tone in my head. R'l

You obviously have thoughts other than lusting. If you didn't, there wouldn't be a point of being on an anonymous forum - everyone around you would know that you have such a problem.

So how do you change the conversation?

Two separate thoughts can't occupy your mind at the same time. So as soon as you detect a problem thought, we need to think of something else. There are people on here who like to use the blow it up method. In case you've never heard of it, it basically it works like this. 1) You detect a thought of lust. 2) You visualize explosions as you blow it up with whatever weapon you can imagine. The beauty of this method is that you don't have to spend very much time figuring out which thought to switch to. After the thoughts are replaced with fireballs you can go about thinking about life.

Let's go through it together,

The point of 90 days is to be able to get our bodies used to living without the adrenaline of lust, if you are davka going to look at the things that give you that "high" wouldn't that be exactly the opposite of the point of 90 days?

Regarding the issue of thoughts, What skep wrote is %100 valid, and I just want to tell you that many of thosee recovering here (including myself) will tell you that the fantasies and thoughts were the hardest part at first, but they have lessened dramatically, so KOT KOMT, there is (more that just) hope!!!

stayrein wrote:


This doesn't have to do with the (important) conversation going on, but it's considered a fall according to the 90 day chart rules

I found that once I fell, comes the worst danger of the 90 day chart (imo).Because now that the count i restarted anyway, I might as well fall another few times before I restart my count.

The way aaround it is simple, make the chart not be your reason to fall.If the philosophy here (of living, being honest with yourself etc.) is not enough to stop you, (it isn't enough for me) then you should probably make a taphsic with a large enough knas to make you not want to fall.You can make it for as long as you feel you're not going to be sufficiently deterred by the chart.

KOT and Hatzlacha meruba,
back to the conversation i suppose...

Thank you for all your feedback. Skeptical, yes the mind can only focus on one thing. I have heard of the blow up method and will try to incorporate it. I have to try and be aware of my thoughts, so when they start to veer into dirty one's I can catch my self. It is definitely harder to control thoughts than anything else in the body.
Pidaini, I must say that Bh, since I have started with this site, my falls have become less intense and shorter, so I hope over time, I can get used to living with out the drug of lust.
Inastruggle, counting can get tricky, however even if i have to start again, I can be honest with myself and realize that once is enough. I don't need to go for a few days (hopefully).
I am starting to count again and have no plans for the future.. It's only today for now.
Thank you again and look foward to updating here.

stayrein wrote:

It's only today, ALWAYS!!!

You're doing great, KOT KOMT buddy!!!

I have to say that i'm very impressed with your progress so far KUTGW!

stayrein wrote:

The way I understand it, it's not a contradiction to plan and just take it for today.Planning just means to lay out your strategy for what you're going to do when the urge hits, or when the situation becomes bad.Living one day at a time means forgetting about the plan until the problem comes up and then using the plan, being successful and forget about the whole issue and go back to living life.

anyway, keep the good work going
hatzlacha

stayrein wrote:


Hi stayrein! First, I want to tell you that your doing an awesome job so far!! Your making serious progress that is very admirable!

Second, thinking only about today has really been the most effective tactic for me. And sometimes when the day is rough right away in the beginning I work it 15 minutes at a time. Hopefully by the time the first 15 minutes is up I'm already on to something else and the urge is either gone or not as strong.

KUTGW