i want to do for Hashem. I want to be better, but i am lost. Where should i start? please help

Welcome to the forum!!

The best place to start would be to figure out where you stand, the GYE handbook is first stop.

After that choose which tools to use, and be honest with yourself.

Hatzlacha!!

WELCOME SB! You have already started! Yes, read the handbook, post some more about yourself. You will find your way around in no time. It's nice to have you with us.

hey sb!

Glad you posted.

looking forward to hear more about your progress.

Onward for yourself...
Onward for Hashem...

Some say to think about yourself first in this area...getting out of the 'blote' first.

b'hatzlachah

when I came to the computer and i am alone I feel that I can not be my self if any email came to to about these things i am not enough strong to not follow it also when I have access to a computer whit internet i go start to dirty pales so I don't now what to do

What do you need a computer for? Can you put on a filter or monitoring software? Is the computer the only problem? Are you married? Does your wife know about this problem? Are you a bachur? Do your parents know about it? Do you have a Rav or Rebbi that you can talk to about it?

I am married with children I work to make a living B"H I hold my self strong not to have internet on my phone, but I need the computer and internet to work the problem is that I work for my self I have 1 part time secretary when she is in there is no problem but when I am alone I feel a crave to go to all these places I try many filters also I try monitoring software I sight up 5 people to look at the reports but they look at it the first time then they get tired from it and I realize it right away and the filters there is alwaye places were I can go even with it in a day what I am here alone its crazy I sit ohers instead of do my work and my wife is mot realize it I speak with her about the internet problems but its not go in her head that her husband is also there so I tried the business is also not going so well and I believe that it has connections but I'm not the boss on myself when it came to a nisayon but B"H i find this site and I find here I dont know who he is but what I know that he is a טייערע יוד he seant already a lot of time and he is willing to spend more just to help me out and should be 100% clean B"H so now I hope that a new live starts from now I know that the yetzer is not giving up on me but together its much much easier the fight

looks like you are on a mehalech

continue with the filters and the blocks

when you are in a good mode, think of ways to stop the little things, for they lead to bigger things

hatzlachah vayter

and by the way, it seems that the accepted opinion around here is not to tell your wife yet about your addiction

you need to get into a safer place first

Hi SB
How are things going?
SG