pischoshelmachat wrote:


I guess "knowing" is half the battle.

Hi Again,
Just checking in before Selichos.
How are my wonderful friends doing?

Shuffling along, putting one little step in front of the other and hoping that this way I won't fall.
Maybe I'm not holding onto the person in front of me, and maybe I'm not even going in the right direction - but wherever I'm going I hope it's a little slower, a little more cautious - and with a tiny bit more humility than before.
More importantly, how are you? We haven't heard from you for ages. What have you been doing in your absence from here? How has it been going?
Shlomo

Thank you Shlomo for saying hello. I have been very busy (good busy) in my personal life lately but now things are settling down. I did have a fall yesterday which I am terribly humiliated by but I must continue with the moddo progress not perfection.
I am sad that within a week of Yom Hadin and deep into Elul I allowed myself to enter a dangerous zone which ultimately I succumbed to.
I am humbled seeing many of my friends like Serenity, Gibor, AE and many others holding Shtark. I am trying to tap into their energy to stay healthy.

Thank you for your honesty.

Are you working any type of program?

Gotta stay in touch.

Staying in touch is key for me. I did not keep in touch the past few weeks because I was very busy but I should have got right back in touch once things settled down. I didn't.

Hi Pischo,
Welcome back. Wow two posts in one day! Maybe you really Are coming back. I'm at the same stage as you. As Home Depot likes to say

I thought the moddo is "You can do it..We can help"
In addiction the moddo is "Hashem can do it for you, just ask!"

That would be this one...

img07.deviantart.net/ba49/i/2004/335/5/7/energy_beam_by_ryuasis.jpg

Hello My Friends,
How was your Yom Tov? I felt that I got closer to HKB"H. I cried my eyes out and hopefully cleaned and flushed out some of the garbage.
I made the kabolas and davened to HKB"H, but now the "rubber hits the road" and I have to apply my commitment in the trenches.
I told the RBS"O, this year will be different because I have GYE, I have friends who are mechazek me and I was much better this year than last so I am a worthwhile investment for another year.
I will come to next R"H clean, one day at a time, with the protection of the RBS"O and the chizzuk from my dear friends.
The RBS"O believes in me so I know I can succeed, if I let him do the work.

Hello Again,
I am standing before HKB"H trying to convince him to give me another chance. I thought I had a good strategy worthwhile of an extension. Until I spoke with a friend who tells me that unless I give myself completely over to the SA program, I cannot tell the RBS"O that I am doing all that I can. In fact, I cannot even say that I am sincerely making an effort because nothing but SA works.
I am willing to do everything in the program besides face to face meetings. I went to 2 and I had a very bad experience so I cannot or do not want to go again. So I am a mumar ldavar echad.
So I ask all of my dear friends here, can I claim to do sincere tshuvah or am I a fraud? If I go to meetings, my marriage is over. I cannot give up my marriage.
Please help me.

can you divulge why you had a bad experience in SA? also why is your marriage over if you go to meetings?

Hi,
I answered you in an email. I did not want to put my answer on the forum in order not to discourage anyone else from going.

There are people on this very forum who have had a tremendous amount of success without live meetings. Don't let that be an excuse for you.