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Yaakov's Ladder
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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!

TOPIC: Yaakov's Ladder 133399 Views

Re: Yaakov's Ladder 29 Jul 2015 20:07 #260526

  • gibbor120
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MAZAL TOV!

Re: Yaakov's Ladder 29 Jul 2015 22:49 #260540

  • MendelZ
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Mazal Tov!!! A sach nachos!
אלא יש לו לייחד כל מעשיו לשמו הגדול לבד, ולא ישתף עמו דבר אחר
That's the goal. The key to everything. Working on it, bs"d.

Re: Yaakov's Ladder 30 Jul 2015 02:13 #260562

  • stillgoing
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MAZEL TOV! May you be zocha to raise him l'torah l'chupa l'maysim tovin ul'shmiras eainayim! Oh! and to pay for his chasunah (and tuition, and trip money, and pizza, and diapers, and I'm getting tired just thinking about it ) Ayzea yom habrit? V'afow? B'zvill kmow kol americaim?
BIG SHOT!
Free Choice?!
Yirai's Memories
STORY TIME :)

Dr. Seuss - You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own, and you know what you know. And you are the guy who'll decide where to go.

FSKOT! (Fell Shmell--Keep on Trucking) (The Rebba R' Bards)

Re: Yaakov's Ladder 01 Aug 2015 21:30 #260648

  • MBJ
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מזל טוב
My Story
Only when we make our real lives sweeter than our fantasies will we reap the emotional rewards, the happiness of recovery. - AlexEliezer
Focus on making the right choices as they come up. - Skeptical
When I start to literally accept G-d's Will as guiding my life today, things start to change. - Dov

Re: Yaakov's Ladder 01 Aug 2015 22:28 #260653

  • dd
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מזל טוב!!!

I hope you saved me a cup or two of beer!!!

Re: Yaakov's Ladder 02 Aug 2015 02:44 #260656

  • cordnoy
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dd wrote:
מזל טוב!!!

I hope you saved me a cup or two of beer!!!


You didn't go?
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: Yaakov's Ladder 02 Aug 2015 02:45 #260657

  • cordnoy
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dd wrote:
מזל טוב!!!

I hope you saved me a cup or two of beer!!!


And what pray tell would you do with a "cup" of beer? Make havdalah?
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: Yaakov's Ladder 02 Aug 2015 22:27 #260697

  • dd
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cordnoy wrote:
dd wrote:
מזל טוב!!!

I hope you saved me a cup or two of beer!!!


You didn't go?


I didn't see the post till after Shabbos, and i also haven't heard from Yankel.

Re: Yaakov's Ladder 03 Aug 2015 14:27 #260722

  • unanumun
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Mazel Tov Yankel!!!!

Re: Yaakov's Ladder 08 Dec 2015 01:11 #270711

  • stillgoing
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When's the Bar Mitzva? Are we up to there yet?
BIG SHOT!
Free Choice?!
Yirai's Memories
STORY TIME :)

Dr. Seuss - You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own, and you know what you know. And you are the guy who'll decide where to go.

FSKOT! (Fell Shmell--Keep on Trucking) (The Rebba R' Bards)

Re: Yaakov's Ladder 03 Jan 2016 23:26 #273231

  • stillgoing
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wedding...?
BIG SHOT!
Free Choice?!
Yirai's Memories
STORY TIME :)

Dr. Seuss - You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own, and you know what you know. And you are the guy who'll decide where to go.

FSKOT! (Fell Shmell--Keep on Trucking) (The Rebba R' Bards)

Re: Yaakov's Ladder 05 Jan 2016 14:27 #273401

  • cordnoy
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stillgoing wrote:
wedding...?


I was told that the Hassidim get married young, but this would be ridiculous.

Please give him my address, for I would tell him a thin' or two (red hair, blue pj's) about marriage that will probably make him think twice......once they're older, they don't listen, for the fantasy of bliss becomes entrenched in their brain.
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: Yaakov's Ladder 18 Mar 2016 13:00 #281708

  • cordnoy
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I found this post in the archives: it seems to me that it's worth sharin'.

There were two issues that were laying heavily on my mind regarding my last fall.

1. How could it take a mere few minutes of giving in to lust to fall backwards in to the filth I was into from over 13 months beforehand (granted that there were another two falls in between)? Haven't I learned enough with therapist and SA group to be a bit smarter than that? Have I zero control? Ok...lust, but so low (and sorry that I'm not delineating here).

2. Why was I in such emotional pain this time? Why did it hurt so much? Last time (after 100+ days of being clean), it was an enjoyable week with three falls? Why was this time (after 150+ days) so short and nauseating?

After speaking with an expert today, it seems that there is one answer to both. Yes, I am in recovery (I have not recovered - ain't that the truth?...I am in the recovery process), but recovery does not mean "free from lusting." That can be an outcome if one is working the steps or whatever way he is recovering, but the definition of recovery is not free of lust. Recovering means to understand and accept that I am an addict. It is the understanding that I know and realize that this poison will make my life unmanageable (as it has in the past, and as it will do in the future). Recovery means the coming to grips that the female body and sex in general is not to be worshiped and sought after, and if I can't have my fill then it affects my entire life. A woman on the street is merely that...she is a woman on the street, and she has nothing to do with me. Relations with my wife is not my business! if it happens, it happens. [We take this station break to point out and emphasize that I am nowhere near thinking like this all the time and not even most of the time, but sometimes....and I am coming to terms that this is the way I should be thinking.]

Accordingly, when these realizations don't play a roll, and I succumb to my old style of thinking, I am immediately transformed back into the crazy porn addict low life I always was and always will be (without recovery), and no action is deemed too low, for why should it be? Life is about indulging in pleasures and this right now is what excites me and turns me on. And my friends, there is a drawback (a minor one) of being somewhat in recovery. I have become sensitized to lust like I never was in my life. In my previous three decades, the lust was part of my life and enjoyment. I could "go" for five hours, three days, a week and a half until "giving in (so to speak)," for there was no thought process behind the pleasure. But now, I know precisely what it is I am doing. I am not living life; I am throwing it away. This break ain't no party; it is nauseating and bitter. Nobody stays overtime at a funeral. It ain't pretty and it's over as soon as it started.

I know that I have a certain style of writing and perhaps here it may even come out that I know what I'm talking about. Fellows, I don't really. Some of what I wrote makes sense to me; some of it is banging around inside of me and it may have merit. Parts (that I made up) may even be shtussim gemmurim.

I write for myself and for whoever might get something from it.

Peace out!
My email: thenewme613@hotmail.com
My threads:
GYE Handbook | Gibbor's Insights | GYE FAQ - Thanks Skep and DMS123456789 White Book | Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)

If one gives up at the first sign of a struggle, he is really not ready to be successful."
"Tryin' and doin' are two different thin's - tryin' is hopin'; doin' is succeedin'.
"The right thin' to do and the hard thin' to do are usually the same."


Disclaimer: I am not a cheerleader; B"H, there are many on the site. I am here to change myself, and with God's help, by some mistake, I might even help change others.

MY POSTS ARE NOT WRITTEN AS A MODERATOR UNLESS EXPLICITLY STATED.

Re: Yaakov's Ladder 06 May 2016 18:36 #286996

  • TehillimZugger
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yankel?

Yankel??

YANKEL?!?!?!

doctor!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
?דער באשעפער לאווט מיך אייביג. וויפיל לאוו איך עהם
My Creator loves me at all times. How great is my love for him?

Re: Yaakov's Ladder 06 May 2016 21:44 #287040

  • Shlomo24
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TehillimZugger wrote on 06 May 2016 18:36:
yankel?

Yankel??

YANKEL?!?!?!

doctor!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY GOSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE FAMOUS TZ!!!!!!!! 
What works for me: 1) Honesty 2) Meetings 3) 12-step 4) Listening to my Sponsor 5) Not doing what I want to do 6) Inviting the God of my understanding into my life

"I can't do it, God can help." | "Everything I want is on the other side of fear." | "Where there is deprivation there is addiction." | "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery." | "Stop stopping, start living."

My thread: Big Steps

Email: iam24zman@gmail.com
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