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Yaakov's Ladder
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Scientific studies show that it takes 90 days to break an addictive pattern in the mind. Start your own Log of your journey to 90 days! Post here to update us on your status and to give each other chizuk to stay strong!

TOPIC: Yaakov's Ladder 138123 Views

Re: Yaakov's Ladder 23 Jun 2015 19:02 #257511

  • Pidaini
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Peekaboo!!

Here again today!!

There's still some tweaks with the chat, especially that there are users that you can't chat with yet.

If you haven't gotten verified for private chat, PLEASE DO SO AS SOON AS POSSIBLE!!! it's simple, and quick, and the benefits are enormous!!!
Yankel | My Ladder | Talking to Hashem
I'm just a dude, another guy on this bus.
Have a great day, unless, of course, you made other plans. ~ obbormottel
"Nothing changes as long as everything stays the same" ~ Dov

Re: Yaakov's Ladder 25 Jun 2015 01:31 #257680

  • stillgoing
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Finally! The one person who knows how to write a size that I can reaD is back. Plain print seems so bla now.
BIG SHOT!
Free Choice?!
Yirai's Memories
STORY TIME :)

Dr. Seuss - You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own, and you know what you know. And you are the guy who'll decide where to go.

FSKOT! (Fell Shmell--Keep on Trucking) (The Rebba R' Bards)
Last Edit: 25 Jun 2015 01:31 by stillgoing.

Re: Yaakov's Ladder 25 Jun 2015 11:01 #257717

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Ho Ho Ho!!!

what if we make Large and italic together?

:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!


Yankel | My Ladder | Talking to Hashem
I'm just a dude, another guy on this bus.
Have a great day, unless, of course, you made other plans. ~ obbormottel
"Nothing changes as long as everything stays the same" ~ Dov
Last Edit: 25 Jun 2015 11:01 by Pidaini.

Re: Yaakov's Ladder 25 Jun 2015 17:47 #257752

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Hi y'all!!

Life is boring, and there is no question that lust makes it much more interesting and exciting. Right now, that's where it's at for me. I'm not triggered, but I sort of want to be.

Truth is, that observation in itself is progress already, progress due to coming back to GYE and starting to think the thoughts and idealizing the ideas.

Another thing that popped back into my head was the notion that having desires and becoming aroused aren't the problem, it's my need to get rid of them that is. But when I can look at life and see what Hashem wants me to do next, I can leave those desires to be taken care of however Hashem decides is best, and they lose most of their threatening demeanor.

Woooohooooooo!!!!
Yankel | My Ladder | Talking to Hashem
I'm just a dude, another guy on this bus.
Have a great day, unless, of course, you made other plans. ~ obbormottel
"Nothing changes as long as everything stays the same" ~ Dov

Re: Yaakov's Ladder 25 Jun 2015 20:22 #257781

  • ZemirosShabbos
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Pidaini wrote:
Ho Ho Ho!!!

what if we make Large and italic together?

:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!



and here i was thinking you were gonna treat us to some large italian ices...

your second post, much more (or less) profound, about idealizing ideas and observing observations brought to mind something I do a lot, ibbertrachten. tzadikim said trachten is good, ibbertrachten is not.

whatever it is, it is really good to see you back!
Sometimes life is like tuna with not enough mayonaise
~Inna beshem ZS

Give, Forgive
~Cordnoy

The reason I'm acting as if I'm pregnant, is because I'm expecting. I should be accepting.
~TZ

Re: Yaakov's Ladder 26 Jun 2015 03:54 #257823

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Hee Hee!!

Zemmy wrote:
idealizing ideas and observing observations brought to mind something I do a lot, ibbertrachten. tzadikim said trachten is good, ibbertrachten is not.


I tell you da truce, these profundities didn't really take up much thought, the first one was an insight from my BIL who asked me radomly why "people" find life so boring, the second literally just popped into my head (don't worry, that doesn't happen to often, there are usually other things poppinng iinto my head )

Whadddddevvah!!

Ikkur is that I'm excited to be back, and although I've been back before....well, didn't you say ibertrachten is not good
Yankel | My Ladder | Talking to Hashem
I'm just a dude, another guy on this bus.
Have a great day, unless, of course, you made other plans. ~ obbormottel
"Nothing changes as long as everything stays the same" ~ Dov

Re: Yaakov's Ladder 26 Jun 2015 04:17 #257825

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ZemirosShabbos wrote:
Pidaini wrote:
Ho Ho Ho!!!

what if we make Large and italic together?

:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!



and here i was thinking you were gonna treat us to some large italian ices...


I was thinking that it's some sort of kabbalistic Tzirufei Sheimos. I think there's a thread for that somewhere. I can't find it right now, must be in the restricted Mekubalim forum
!אנא עבדא דקודשא בריך הוא

וּבְיָדְךָ כֹּחַ וּגְבוּרָה וּבְיָדְךָ לְגַדֵּל וּלְחַזֵּק לַכֹּל

And every day that you want to waste, that you want to waste, you can
And every day that you want to wake up, that you want to wake, you can
And every day that you want to change, that you want to change, yeah
I'll help you see it through...



My story: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/111583-hello-my-friends

Re: Yaakov's Ladder 26 Jun 2015 12:15 #257840

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You mean this one, don't you?

BH, it's already Friday afternoon here, the week really has flown by!! I am most certainly still human, with desires and all, but I am in a much better mood, understandably.

Wishing everyone a great Shabbos and I thank you for being here!!
Yankel | My Ladder | Talking to Hashem
I'm just a dude, another guy on this bus.
Have a great day, unless, of course, you made other plans. ~ obbormottel
"Nothing changes as long as everything stays the same" ~ Dov

Re: Yaakov's Ladder 26 Jun 2015 15:59 #257860

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Good Shabboss!
Much Hatzlacha!

My Threads:
Glad to be here
Don't slip it hurts
Lions & Tigers & Internet, Oh My!

--"ולא המדרש עיקר, אלא המעשה"
--"To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing." Mark Twain
--"If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking (or lusting), you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic (or sexaholic)." AA Big Book P. 45. Parenthesis added.
--You hit rock bottom when you decide to stop digging.

Re: Yaakov's Ladder 28 Jun 2015 01:41 #257907

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A gutte voch GYE!

That was one long night! Couldn't fall asleep, finally did, Stan woke up, had an ego bruiser as well, and some fantasies as a cherry on the top.

After all is said and done though, I'm still sparkling clean, so all's well that ends well!!

Shabbos is sort of lonely, I have no one to talk to honestly, to complain to, to lecture to, and no GYE to make up for it. I could get some numbers of SA guys that live in my area, hopefully will do that (sending an email to a guy right now....sent).

A good, sober weekto all my friends!!
Yankel | My Ladder | Talking to Hashem
I'm just a dude, another guy on this bus.
Have a great day, unless, of course, you made other plans. ~ obbormottel
"Nothing changes as long as everything stays the same" ~ Dov

Re: Yaakov's Ladder 28 Jun 2015 07:34 #257923

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Hi Yankel and KUTGW!!!

Its really very geshmak to see you here again on a daily basis. so KOP!!!

Re: Yaakov's Ladder 28 Jun 2015 17:39 #257951

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Yankel. From your post, it sounds like you have learned a lot from this "fall". I had a similar experience at about the same number of days sober. Since then the days have gone really slow, so I need to focus on one day at a time more than ever. The main lesson I learned is humility.

Htazlacha!
Much Hatzlacha!

My Threads:
Glad to be here
Don't slip it hurts
Lions & Tigers & Internet, Oh My!

--"ולא המדרש עיקר, אלא המעשה"
--"To promise not to do a thing is the surest way in the world to make a body want to go and do that very thing." Mark Twain
--"If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking (or lusting), you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic (or sexaholic)." AA Big Book P. 45. Parenthesis added.
--You hit rock bottom when you decide to stop digging.

Re: Yaakov's Ladder 28 Jun 2015 19:31 #257962

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I always learn from my falls, the determining factor is implementing what I learn, that I didn't do very much.

Humility is certainly a big part of the game, although it's more of a realization than something to work on. When I notice how little I actually manage my life, how little I am actually in charge of, it brings humility and with that, acceptance and serenity .

Gonna try and go to sleep now, have a great day/night y'all!!
Yankel | My Ladder | Talking to Hashem
I'm just a dude, another guy on this bus.
Have a great day, unless, of course, you made other plans. ~ obbormottel
"Nothing changes as long as everything stays the same" ~ Dov

Re: Yaakov's Ladder 03 Jul 2015 14:18 #258585

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Hi Hi!!

Exciting day 'tis, it's

:pinch: Warning: Spoiler!



It is also going to be my first "Mi'Shabbos L'Shabbos" clean and mostly sober in quite a long time!!

Being back on GYE really has lifted my spirits. Thank You y'all!!

I can't say it's been all smooth though, I've been having very intense and soul searching conversations with my parents about how I view myself, and how I have labeled myself in ways that are rather detrimental to my potential. With regard to some things, they are right, with other things, I disagree but can't explain myself well (I'm much better in writing than I am in talking).

One thing that they are certainly right about is my disqualifying the learning and serving Hashem that I did in my Yeshivah days due my lust activities at those times, and even though I may not have been happy, and may have even been miserable, I still learned and davened and did plenty of good things. I seem to have empowered those negative feelings over more than they deserve, convincing myself that I am/ am not certain things.

Obviously, a LOT of thinking has been going on. I really need to stick to the things that work- Keeping in touch with my dailies and at least a bit of GYE.

May you all have a good Shabbos!!
Yankel | My Ladder | Talking to Hashem
I'm just a dude, another guy on this bus.
Have a great day, unless, of course, you made other plans. ~ obbormottel
"Nothing changes as long as everything stays the same" ~ Dov
Last Edit: 03 Jul 2015 14:20 by Pidaini.

Re: Yaakov's Ladder 03 Jul 2015 14:22 #258586

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Thanks for the boost just before Shabbes !

Please keep telling us your progress regularly !

Hope you'll have a great Chabbes like all GYE members and all the Jews of this world and the other one !
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