Dear Guard,
I am no place to metal with the vaad's decision. But I want you to know that this story really helps me. I am having urges that I haven't had in a long time. I am now going to read part of this story to get me back on track.

Thanks 

Eyes

the.guard wrote on 15 Feb 2021 09:51:

PLease guard

PLease let the story to continue.

Let it be on the BB group with a forward and if someone doesnt want to read they dont have to.
I am very sensitive to any sexual material and my heart starts to pant and out it comes. This did not happen to me in the last chapter. Please let grant continue

Eyes

i found this story very helpful for me...

(I love how this discussion is bringing everyone out of the woodwork!)
The story is great. I have gained from it, bh.
Yes, I did get a shtikl taiva here and there,however, I do beleive I have gained more.
Ive even shared certain parts with a friend of mine who was moved by it as well.
Seeing the toll this can take on a marrige, and the reppurcussions of being out of touch with the reality (like who’s fault something is) is very moving.
As well, I see how easy it is to go from dropping the phone into the toilet before proposing and meeting up with another girl in shana rishona.
Honestly, I find it to seem very very realistic, which I find scary.
This story compels and teaches me to get my act together before marrige, as I B’ezras HaShem, intend to.

I think Grant does a great job at portraying the girls side of it. I think it would be interesting to have a GYE lady write the girls side and Grant Wright the mans side, but that would entail them working together, and I’m doubtful how positive that would be.

So, I vote to keep it here. Though I do acknowledge that it has triggered me, I do still beleive it’s more worthwhile then not.

Explain to me why I can't go in to thousands of other topics on this site and say this is triggering and cause the same firestorm?

This makes no sense, and frankly, smells of cancel culture seeping into our culture. One person makes a post, probably without thinking through the ramifications of it too much, and suddenly the whole story is on hold and we have a controversy?

I'm glad we had a healthy "conversation", now let's get back to reality. We're on a website for porn and lust addicts where we're encouraged to share our struggles with porn and lust, everything is inherently triggering, and that's that.

concernedjew21 wrote on 01 Mar 2021 22:11:

I understand your frustration, trust me. I'm the cause for this topic of controversy. Yet we must respect The Guard. He isn't just any poster with a trigger happy finger dying to share his opinion for others to read. He is honestly here for people like us, only looking out for our good and our growth. 

I too am shocked by how many people found the content triggering. It has given me my own set of doubts, and I'm not sure we can do away with that aspect under the guise of "more good will come out than bad". That is a question only fit for minds greater than ours, and given to judgement solely to more experienced people. We can only view things through out perspective and experience, we need an outsider who will have a greater scope.

Im not sure why some of you don't understand the difference between what has been written here in the story as opposed to all other threads on this website but I'll explain. Normally people post their struggles with a focus on the downside and clearly portrays regret and concerns about the activities being discussed. However for better or worse these stories are different. That's because it's drawn out to give a clear in depth picture of certain situations. Which inevitably is resulting in somewhat glorifying certain scenerios which one would find in the thousands of romance novels you can find at your local public library. Now the author, who has contributed so much on this website, might have only positive intentions. But in order to give a clear picture and detailed account of ones struggles in a story format the only way to truly do so is to get into the details and focus on them as the story progresses which can give the reader the wrong impression of the whole situation at least at those moments of the story. Which is possibly why so many of us are so curious about who that woman was in the last chapter....Either way it's obviously not my call. I'm just adding my two cents in, don't wanna be left out of the peanut gallery over here...

There is nothing glorifying about the story, in fact the story is laced with a palpable and almost unbearable sense of impending doom and destruction, which is a credit to the author, resonates and hits very hard with people, and is its entire purpose.

THAT is the difference between this story and the countless posts on this website. Those posts detail the destruction porn and lust addiction wreak upon peoples lives, sure, but often in a somewhat generic, clinical, "yeah yeah I've seen this before sort of way". This is hitting right where it hurts. 

No one is reading this story to get their erotic kicks, there are [trigger warning!], MUCH better places for that.

Ish MiGrodno wrote on 25 Feb 2021 17:54:

After having read through the many posts on this thread,I can agree with parts of some and parts of others. However,what IMG said is the only post i can wholeheartedly agree with. This is what we do when we have a question of this magnitude.
Thank you

Can we please have a final verdict on this!?
All these posts debating whether or not a story is triggering may actually cause triggers...

I feel that unfortunately grants story is tainted that it's "triggering". If grant gets the green light, I hope he will be able to continue with the same sincerity as he had before this "triggering" saga.

Grant,
just in case it's not clear.. we all appreciate your contributions to the forum.
Thank you for all your hard work and effort you put into your posts!

Sorry for my late joining into this conversation. I have been basically off GYE for quite a bit due to being bh very busy. 

I humbly request that the thread continue in the section where bochurim can read it. I also think it should be given to all chosson rebbis to have each chosson read before the chasuna. I think there are so many lessons that we all can learn from this story. Yes, there should be a disclaimer that there is a potential for one to be triggered, while at the same time warning that the reader will experience being banged over the head with a sledgehammer.

GYE is not the Chofetz Chaim Heritage Foundation. Although we are careful with language and how things are written, we must face reality. It is a place where guys who have been very exposed to really horrible stuff, are coming to. This story has the ability to undo the brainwashing of pornography being great/exciting/pleasurable/fulfilling, in a way that 20 speeches cannot accomplish.

That being said, i think we all realize that GYE has been there for us, and has a great track record. If the vaad decides to cut the thread, we should respectfully accept that.

After discussion with our team, we have decided that the story should continue as is, and it can even be left for bochurim to read as well, but it should have a disclaimer (along the lines of what was posted above).

Also, as someone suggested above, I think a new thread should be started where the story can be posted again and continued, chapter by chapter with no discussions. We can continue using THIS THREAD for group discussion and comments to Grant.

So the new thread should begin with two announcements. (1) The disclaimer about triggers (2) a request that no one should comment on that thread - and put a link to THIS thread instead for discussion purposes.

I apologize to everyone for the break in the story, but I think this was a healthy conversation for us all to have.

Thank you Grant for the great writing. I really hope that the lessons we will continue to learn from this story will be powerful and life-changing to the guys here (as we see it already is for some people).

the.guard wrote on 02 Mar 2021 07:47:

Can we make this the most thanked post ever?

Also wanted to again thank the good general for the incredible impactful stories that have been released to date and can only guess what will come in the future

The General needs a nap... and a team of aides to sort through all the ideas, rules and demands...

He may submit his resignation, effective yesterday. Interviews will be held, and the Senate will vote to confirm the new appointee.

Please please add to the main topic header of the new Thread the words  “please see intro” or something similar