I don't know if this is in the Ruach of this thread, (it was sent to me, and I am not sure whether it is a joke or for real) but I thought that I would post it anyway.

HOW TO STAY SAFE IN THE WORLD TODAY

Avoid riding in automobiles because they are
responsible for 20 % of all fatal accidents.

Do not stay at home because 17 percent of all
accidents occur in the home. (that's 37 % already)

Avoid walking on streets or sidewalks because
14 percent of all accidents occur to pedestrians.(now that's 51%)

Avoid traveling by air, trains or buses, 16 percent of accidents
involve these forms of transportation. (that's 67%)

Of the remaining 33 percent, 32 percent of all
deaths occur in hospitals. Above all else avoid hospitals.

You will be pleased to learn that only
0.01 % of all deaths occur in a synagogue,
and these are usually related to previous physical disorders.

Therefore, logic tells us that the safest place for you to be at any
given point in time is in Synagogue.

Torah Study is even safer. The number of deaths
during Torah Study is too small to register.

For safety's sake, go to Shul as often as
possible, and attend Torah Study.
It could save your life!

Why couldn’t you see the elephant in the tree?

Because it was good at hiding. (Baduum-ts)

Wow, and here I thought that I was a deep thinker...
Stillgoing, you keep me on my toes.
#KeepItUp

Here’s another for stillgoing to pick his brain on:

How do you think the unthinkable?

Tzitzit Dude

You should apply for a site wide pass so you can get out of this depressed place and start your own thread

Applications are being processed and turnaround time is approx 4-5 months

Hatzlacha