It's the next sign of the times!

On a maternity room door:
"Push. Push. Push."

On my fence:
"Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive."

"markz" post=284970 date=1460978554Some of your jokes are way above my head, but as a kind sympathetic member I'll do the good thing and click 'thank you'

As an outsider, now having been away for a few days, and just dropping in to inhale a little gye snow,  
I observed and noticed that

I think gye has really lightened up since the spring thaw. 

6 months ago there was rampant mention of suicide and dark secrets,  witches and $itches and all types of creepy shenanigans. 

Now it seems folks are fully enthralled with lighter topics like devil, hell, and gender confusion.

Wow, i guess we're into better things. 


 

Yesod wrote on 19 Apr 2016 04:28:

Lol. In my experience, one positive I have gleaned from my addiction is the realization that this world is effing beautiful. Guys, girls, you name it.

Shlomo24 wrote on 19 Apr 2016 05:14:


I hear you,  i might change the order though

JHF Moderator will shark attack you for not posting a gyefilter fish

It's the last sign of the times!

At a car dealership:
"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."

Outside a muffler shop:
"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."

At the electric company:
"We would be delighted if you send in your payment. However, if you don't, you will be."

In a restaurant window:
"Don't stand there and be hungry .. Come on in and get fed up."

In the front yard of a funeral home:
"Drive carefully. We'll wait."

  

Huh, I could think of a hell of a lot better "fish" to catch people on GYE, I don't think that horseradish was ever a problem for me... Just thinking out loud.

I think that scene was captured on pesach so they couln't use NSFW stuff.

Benjamin is offered a high powered job as Head of Finance at Utah Life Assurance Inc. He and his Sarah sell their house in New York and move to Utah. But Benjamin is unaware that it had been a difficult decision for the ULA President to offer him the job. 
Even after Benjamin starts work, the ULA directors continue to put pressure on the President behind Benjamin’s back. "We’re all Mormons on the board and we’ve never had someone Jewish on the board before. We find this very difficult to accept."  But they also know that Benjamin is proving to be the best. He’s a financial genius, a financial guru. 
After much careful thought, the President decides on a course of action and calls Benjamin to his office. "I’m afraid I’ve run into some opposition to your appointment. If you want to keep your $400,000 a year position, you’ll have to convert.  Please let me know by tomorrow what you decide." 
Benjamin has no choice. However difficult it might be to convert, it’s easier than losing his great new job. So he goes home and tells Sarah, "It’s simple, from this Sunday we’ll be going to church with our children." 
Over the months that follow, Sarah doesn’t stop nagging. "It’s so difficult for me…I miss shul…shabbes….lighting the candles…kiddush…festivals etc. You know Benjamin, money isn’t everything." 
The more she nags him, the worse Benjamin’s conscience bothers him, until finally he’s had enough. He goes back to the ULA President. "I can’t go on like this, sir, my troubles are eating me up inside. Money isn’t everything to me. Neither I nor Sarah can sleep at night.  It’s too much for us. I made the wrong decision. We were born Jews and we want to die Jews. If you want me to quit, I’ll go without making a fuss." 
The president looks at him in amazement and says, "Listen Benjamin, I had no idea it was so tough for you. I thought switching religions would be simple. But you are doing an excellent job here and I don’t want to loose you. Stay here and you can be as Jewish as you want - I’ll take care of the directors." 
Benjamin goes home to Sarah feeling absolutely great. "Our troubles are over at last, darling," he says to her, "I’ve spoken to the President and he’s letting me keep my job and he said we can go back to being Jewish immediately." 
Sarah looks at him with anger in her eyes. "Tell me, are you stupid or what?" 
Benjamin is shocked. "But I thought that was what you wanted all along, to be Jewish once more. Don’t you want to go back to being Jewish?" 
Sarah looks very upset and replies, "Of course I do, but now, just 2 weeks before Pesach?"

Unbelievable but true

Ding-Dang wrote

"When I was a boy, if you looked on the back of the Hebrew National hot dog packages, they would say, "These hot dogs were blessed by Rabbi such-and-such." I thought that was really cool.

I said to my dad, "Do they really have Rabbis who bless each hot dog as they come down the line?"

My father rolled his eyes and said, "Are you mashugana? They bless the machines! Do you really think that a Rabbi would dedicate his whole life to blessing hot dogs?"

I shrugged my shoulders.




My father mentioned something about, "This is what I get for marrying a shiksa" before he left the room"

markz wrote on 30 Dec 2015 21:39:

Amazingly this thread that was lower on the stats totem pole is speeding ahead to be #1

The world is returning to its prime!!!

PA and I invite all J posters to lechaim, very soon!!!

Would i rather be a depressed guy chilling or someone about to fall,  tough question

I guess you're right markz, keep on posting, i doubt you need much assistance getting this thread to 125

On the other hand I'm surprised the "I'm about to fall" thread got that high.
After all most people here are either "never going to fall again" or "just fell"