Thanks for that. Shvuos kugel?
:
Welcome to O'Mottel's Kitchen, where you will not be served treif disguised as kosher.
Not like some other guys, who concoct recipes for success and even use kosher ingredients, and then, oops......I don't keep Shabbos.....ooops, I used a little butter in a fleishige frying pan....oops, I better lock my [s]thread[/s] kitchen, before they call me out on something else...
Here at O'Mottel's we call a spade a spade. And if I'm serving you a milkshake with raw egg yolks and extra heavy cream, I am not gonna tell you it's an organic wheatgrass cocktail.
And I won't sneak chicken schmaltz into a vegetarian dish, even if it makes it taste delicious and you will never know.

So raise your vegetarian beefsteaks to toast to Truth, amigos. You can buy it here by pint and halfpint.
Discount to recovering perverts.

obormottel wrote on 12 Jun 2012 21:55:

I'll take some extra "extra heavy cream", hold the egg yolks ... and yes, I'll take the discount :-[

gibbor120 wrote on 13 Jun 2012 16:21:

there is no shame in admitting the truth.
And here is your 3000 kal cocktail. No yolks, promise.

Reb Mottel! What the gishtaltzimpfleegin have you been cooking while the Mashgiach was out?!
Btw, I think we should consider hiring some of the fourteen-year-olds-who-have-been-masturbating-since-they-were-twelve to help out around the kitchen...

That's a good idea. At least while they're checking eggs, they're not touching themselves.
Two birds with one stone.

So are you serving stoned birds, in honor of your first Yahrtzeit?

[There may be halachic grounds to permit non-shechted birds, and as the Mashgiach I feel it is my duty to share some of them:
A. There is a debate whether "Yesh Shechita LeOph Min HaTorah.
B. According to the Pri Megadim there is no Asei on Shechita for Ophos only a Lav.
C. According to Ravina (Menachos 45a) there may be Halachic grounds permitting Kohanim to eat Nivlas Oph.]

I always felt that demanding Lubavitch shchita on chikens was an overkill. Now I know why...it's not even a de'oiraiso...neither is masturbating, according to some...
Well, I insist on a higher standard. No masturbating and no stoned birds in this kitchen.
M.

obormottel wrote on 06 Aug 2012 14:44:

Hey. I didn't say it's not a D'Oraysoh, I said that there is a Machlokess Tana'im about it [well I didn't actually say that, but that's what I was referring to]. Please do not learn Halacha from any Purim Torahs I post on GYE.

Chef, Mr Mashgiach,
Can you please let me know if you can provide crow with a reliable hechsher? i have eaten plenty in the past but i don't remember what hechsher it had, if any.
Chef, maybe you can braise it in a nice w(h)ine sauce for me.

Hatzlacha in all things GOOD.
chaimyakov

chaimyakov wrote on 07 Aug 2012 14:01:

Sure! Rabbi Lazarow's Hechsher. However, Rabbi Hausner disagrees. Ask google yourself next time, he doesnt bite [except when you ask him for images...]

"Always keep your words soft and sweet… someday you just might have to eat them!"

...and make sure to always keep your feet clean -- one day you may put your foot in your mouth.

MT

Thanks everyone for visiting in my kitchen. Hope my cooking didn't give you indigestion.

Regretfully, the kitchen is closed until further notice.

Eat well, stay well.

Mottel

Someone took the vodka out of the fridge this past Erev Shabbos. Not cool.

Is it winter by you yet?