Gevaldig to hear you are doing well.

Pas b'salo is a powerful tool if used in the right way.
What I mean by that is if someone's lusting after a woman and instead of masturbating (or having sex with that woman) they unload in their wife instead, that's just vaiter lust. 
For people who aren't that sick though, using physical urges to grow the connection and relationship with your wife (the fourth kavana of the Raavad) is great. Having a deep relationship with your wife to the extent you don't want a relationship of any sort with any other woman (real, on screen, or imaginary) is even better.  
You sound like you're doing well b"h. Just something to be aware of in the general parsha of bas b'salo

As for specific tips for the weekend. If you normally drink at all on Shabbos, don't. 

@BenHashem, I saw a post on here once phrasing the idea you posted as "A feeling of lust is Hashem tapping me on the shoulder saying 'Hey don't forget about me.'" Not an exact quote. I think that's very similar to what you posted. Interestingly enough, IIRC that was coming from an SA source, not a mussar sefer. The ikkar question is how to react to that communication, and that's where SA and mussar would differ I think.

upanddown wrote on 18 Jun 2024 21:26:

Quick update about this one...
It was tough. There were big triggers.
But thanks to all of your support and advice, and thanks to the One Above, I have overcome this Nisayon and remained super clean BH!!
This woman left a few days ago, so this Nisayon is gone... but the YH has meanwhile dressed up in new ways and is not giving me time to breath... I will keep fighting.. but things are not easy...

Hi,

very very well written. But i have a question about this. This is (almost) very well understood when it’s at a jewish women/girl. But when seeing approaching/talking to a (sorry for saying, but sometimes it’s just true) non jewish attractive good looking women/girl, skinny , shiny, summery dressed (modest written, or to bring it out Stronger, not the trigger anyone just for venting and bringing it out) uncovered belly button with a piercing on it, sleek smooth uncovered skin, long blond hair, shortest pants which is almost like a bikini, why should she 1. scream and run away. And I'll stand there like a Goilem...
2. She will say I'm a freak.
3. When possibly having night out with me, she's probably scared of her husband/friends. 
4. Once I get closer to her I might see that she's not even so pretty, well i can see it right away, she’s summery dressed….
5. And so on…
isn't this the reasons she’s (un)dressed like that?!? To attract people to her? And maybe get into physical touch?

sory if im being too loud and clear, it’s just on my head and always had this question and I’m feeling very horry right now. Any comments welcome!

thanks for listening!

Please please please try right now taking ten minutes to read some of The Battle of the Generation.
Links all over this forum...

trying the best wrote on 15 Aug 2024 15:26:

the answer is NO! and NO!
 shes not a attention seekin' OTD bitocha trying to pull..............shes just a no shayches clueless shiktsa...................not thinkin' sex............sorry to bust your bubble.

regards,
cande