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My Daily Inspiration
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If you've made progress - thank G-d, double your merit by inspiring others as well! Post the tips and advice that worked best for you in your journey to sobriety or tell us about recommendations you heard from others that work.
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TOPIC: My Daily Inspiration 318 Views

My Daily Inspiration 30 Jun 2022 04:52 #382646

  • Hakolhevel
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Check out my main thread on page 23 for the main reason for this thread.

If you like, disagree or dont care at all what I have to say, it's all good. This thread is to help me, and if along the way, I help fellow travelers, Mah Tov!
My Thread:The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:)

My other Thread: My Daily Inspiration

I'm not a slow learner, I'm just quick to forget" - Eli Nash

A bit of honesty and less over confidence might help me - Imperfection

Re: My Daily Inspiration 30 Jun 2022 04:57 #382647

  • Hakolhevel
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From Harvey A. 

Stinkin' thinkin'. It's out minds that got us into this mess, why do we think our minds can get us out of the mess. Our minds are the problem!

My thoughts:
Personally I think this applies to addicts and non addicts alike (whatever the hell that means). I think most of us strugglers here on GYE are smart in other areas of our life, so why when it comes here we are so dumb???

Well our mind in this area is obviously full of cobwebs.

For thoe who want a religous source. Any Chavush Matie Es Atzmo.

G-nite everyone.
My Thread:The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:)

My other Thread: My Daily Inspiration

I'm not a slow learner, I'm just quick to forget" - Eli Nash

A bit of honesty and less over confidence might help me - Imperfection

Re: My Daily Inspiration 30 Jun 2022 14:51 #382652

  • Sapy
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When I came to GYE, I saw this point from Dov countless times, but it took me a long time to realize how true it was, and how I cant think myself out of those issues.

Re: My Daily Inspiration 30 Jun 2022 15:49 #382657

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Hakolhevel wrote on 30 Jun 2022 04:52:
Check out my main thread on page 23 for the main reason for this thread.

If you like, disagree or dont care at all what I have to say, it's all good. This thread is to help me, and if along the way, I help fellow travelers, Mah Tov!

Love it 
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Re: My Daily Inspiration 01 Jul 2022 05:09 #382709

  • Hakolhevel
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Being a good spouse means you support and respect your spouse thru thick and thin. Those snide comments or pointing out issues when not necessary, can erode a marriage over time. If not the marriage the relationship. - From a friend 
My Thread:The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:)

My other Thread: My Daily Inspiration

I'm not a slow learner, I'm just quick to forget" - Eli Nash

A bit of honesty and less over confidence might help me - Imperfection

Re: My Daily Inspiration 05 Jul 2022 22:34 #382893

  • Hakolhevel
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I was traveling so I had no time to post. I learned a few things the last couple days.

One really good one was dont beat yourself up. This was from eli Nashs podcast, it was 5 minutes well worth the listen.

He said in his experience beating yourself up, never leads to anything good. So as righteous or correct it may feel to beat yourself up, if you are concerned with ever recovering . Don't beat your self up, because that will not lead you to your desired destination.
My Thread:The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:)

My other Thread: My Daily Inspiration

I'm not a slow learner, I'm just quick to forget" - Eli Nash

A bit of honesty and less over confidence might help me - Imperfection

Re: My Daily Inspiration 08 Jul 2022 05:00 #383076

  • Hakolhevel
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From No-Fap
what to do when one is aroused
Take a deep breath, acknowledge that you're sexually aroused, acknowledge that there's nothing wrong with this healthy and natural physical response. Then picture yourself taking that energy and channeling it into something productive. Acknowledge that this energy can either be disbursed through a selfish act of masturbation, or it can be harnessed like a generator in a water damn. You can take that energy and make something better. Too often we focus on holding the energy and telling ourselves not to use it until the damn breaks, and we neglect to channel that energy until your life. To power you through your goals and ambitions. Ride the lightning, better your life. The sexuality won't necessarily go away, but you will be fine and comfortable holding it.

My Take: I have heard Harvey A discuss a similar concept, this really brought it home.

Most importantly, to often we are trying to rid ourselves of the desire. So we fight and fight until we get rid of it with the only way we know how, by giving in. But what if we became comfortable, and accepted that we have this desire, but so what!!!
My Thread:The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:)

My other Thread: My Daily Inspiration

I'm not a slow learner, I'm just quick to forget" - Eli Nash

A bit of honesty and less over confidence might help me - Imperfection

Re: My Daily Inspiration 08 Jul 2022 07:04 #383081

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Hakolhevel wrote on 08 Jul 2022 05:00:
From No-Fap
what to do when one is aroused
Take a deep breath, acknowledge that you're sexually aroused, acknowledge that there's nothing wrong with this healthy and natural physical response. Then picture yourself taking that energy and channeling it into something productive. Acknowledge that this energy can either be disbursed through a selfish act of masturbation, or it can be harnessed like a generator in a water damn. You can take that energy and make something better. Too often we focus on holding the energy and telling ourselves not to use it until the damn breaks, and we neglect to channel that energy until your life. To power you through your goals and ambitions. Ride the lightning, better your life. The sexuality won't necessarily go away, but you will be fine and comfortable holding it.

My Take: I have heard Harvey A discuss a similar concept, this really brought it home.

Most importantly, to often we are trying to rid ourselves of the desire. So we fight and fight until we get rid of it with the only way we know how, by giving in. But what if we became comfortable, and accepted that we have this desire, but so what!!!

This is great !
Any practical ideas on where to channel the energy ? ( Aside from exercise)

Re: My Daily Inspiration 10 Jul 2022 03:06 #383115

  • Hakolhevel
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i-man wrote on 08 Jul 2022 07:04:

Hakolhevel wrote on 08 Jul 2022 05:00:
From No-Fap
what to do when one is aroused
Take a deep breath, acknowledge that you're sexually aroused, acknowledge that there's nothing wrong with this healthy and natural physical response. Then picture yourself taking that energy and channeling it into something productive. Acknowledge that this energy can either be disbursed through a selfish act of masturbation, or it can be harnessed like a generator in a water damn. You can take that energy and make something better. Too often we focus on holding the energy and telling ourselves not to use it until the damn breaks, and we neglect to channel that energy until your life. To power you through your goals and ambitions. Ride the lightning, better your life. The sexuality won't necessarily go away, but you will be fine and comfortable holding it.

My Take: I have heard Harvey A discuss a similar concept, this really brought it home.

Most importantly, to often we are trying to rid ourselves of the desire. So we fight and fight until we get rid of it with the only way we know how, by giving in. But what if we became comfortable, and accepted that we have this desire, but so what!!!

This is great !
Any practical ideas on where to channel the energy ? ( Aside from exercise)

Harvey A talks alot about, when he sees a beautiful woman he says a prayer "G-d whatever it is I sell in that woman let me find it in you"

To me, (and I haven't ued this trick alot) it's not about fighting or distracting the desire, its about channeing. So the action can be the same, but I feel the outoutcome is different. I'll give a few scenarios.

Say I'm aroused, I want to fight the desire so I go study Torah (Ive tried this many times). Now if I was studying to distract oor fight the desre, very often after the study session the desire come back in full strength. If however, when I sat down to learn I said, I accept I have this passion and desire, I'm going to channel it into learning, then I never ignored the passion, I used it, so after I'm done, it's no more (for now)

I used this aa few nights ago (this is for married men).

My wife was asleep, I got to my bed and I suddenly really wated to act out, I didnt ignore my desire, or fight it or even distract it with my wife, instead I went over and said, let me channel this passiom and feel passion tto my wife. No I didn't wake her up and have **x with her, but I went to lay next to her and allow myself feel feelings of love towards her 

This is very different from the past, where if I would get aroused, maybe Id convonce my wife, (right the YH is now well fed?) Only to act out after she fell asleep. That's because I never accped the desire for what it was, and just tried different tactics to ignore or "feed" it. Instead I need to chanel it.

I'm not sure all this makes sense, just sharing something that wored for me recently.
My Thread:The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:)

My other Thread: My Daily Inspiration

I'm not a slow learner, I'm just quick to forget" - Eli Nash

A bit of honesty and less over confidence might help me - Imperfection

Re: My Daily Inspiration 13 Jul 2022 04:36 #383303

  • Hakolhevel
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So if someone learns something from me, it's not because of who I am. If you learns something from someone else, it's not because of who they are. We are all bozos who occasionally get to be G-ds messenger to other people. So don't take yourself or others so seriously. 

Even trouble can be a messenger sometimes

 (loosley based on Harvey A)
My Thread:The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:)

My other Thread: My Daily Inspiration

I'm not a slow learner, I'm just quick to forget" - Eli Nash

A bit of honesty and less over confidence might help me - Imperfection
Last Edit: 13 Jul 2022 04:38 by Hakolhevel.

Re: My Daily Inspiration 13 Jul 2022 13:29 #383314

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Hakolhevel wrote on 13 Jul 2022 04:36:
So if someone learns something from me, it's not because of who I am. If you learns something from someone else, it's not because of who they are. We are all bozos who occasionally get to be G-ds messenger to other people. So don't take yourself or others so seriously. 

Even trouble can be a messenger sometimes

 (loosley based on Harvey A)

i resemble that
I'm all about that (substantial) bass, no trouble ....

Re: My Daily Inspiration 24 Jul 2022 22:11 #383803

  • Hakolhevel
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Action eliminates overthinking. Inaction breeds it - Jon Acuff
so true so true. Back to the stinking thinking. It's time to stop thinking and time to start doing.
My Thread:The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:)

My other Thread: My Daily Inspiration

I'm not a slow learner, I'm just quick to forget" - Eli Nash

A bit of honesty and less over confidence might help me - Imperfection
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