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Replacing Addictive Behavriors
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If you've made progress - thank G-d, double your merit by inspiring others as well! Post the tips and advice that worked best for you in your journey to sobriety or tell us about recommendations you heard from others that work.
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TOPIC: Replacing Addictive Behavriors 1130 Views

Replacing Addictive Behavriors 11 Nov 2019 19:20 #345069

  • ribnitzer
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The minute that I was near a computer and got either bored or stressed, my initial gut reaction would be to "escape" into a porn site.

Eventually, when I setup filters, I still had this need/tendency to escape during stressful/boring moments while online.

I replaced searching for porn related Items, with searching for something else that I enjoyed/was interested in.

Eventually, I began an addiction with looking at Israel news. To this day, whenever I have a stressful moment, i begin switching through different israel news websites-obsessively..
Find something you enjoy reading about thats kosher, and flip to that obsessively instead of porn.

The next tip i would give is, eliminate all "legitimate" sites that have lusty articles. For a while I would visit "foxnews.com" as a legitimate reputable news outlet. However, very often they have articles, that are "gateway drugs to pornography" like articles  about teachers that had relations with students, or famous actors that become "porn stars" These entertainment news articles are basically equivalent to pornography because they pique your curiosity.. 

Even though to most people foxnews seems kosher enough, I have eliminated it from list of sites that I visit,because I know where it could lead.

Re: Replacing Addictive Behavriors 11 Nov 2019 19:34 #345070

  • Markz
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Good man!

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Last Edit: 12 Nov 2019 04:16 by Markz.

Re: Replacing Addictive Behavriors 12 Nov 2019 08:39 #345074

  • David26fr
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It's a good idea, but be careful about replacing one addiction by another one, even if the new addiction not problematic...
Because nothing is resolved in final, and there is an high risk to return to your old addiction when the new will not be sufficient for your needs...

Just my two cents

Re: Replacing Addictive Behavriors 12 Nov 2019 22:59 #345091

  • Dovid824
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What about becoming addicted to Torah study, or keeping your house clean and tidy?
I shall not die! But I shall live and relate the deeds of G-d.
[Psalms 118:17]

Re: Replacing Addictive Behavriors 12 Nov 2019 23:45 #345093

  • Hakolhevel
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David26fr wrote on 12 Nov 2019 08:39:
It's a good idea, but be careful about replacing one addiction by another one, even if the new addiction not problematic...
Because nothing is resolved in final, and there is an high risk to return to your old addiction when the new will not be sufficient for your needs...

Just my two cents

Obviously everyone has their own experience, but my experience has been there same. When I obsess about something ( reading lots of news, following sports obsessively...) I start to feel empty in the inside, and the next time I get triggered, I stand less of a chance to win. 

In other words, when something i enjoy becomes obsessive, it becomes less enjoyable, just like porn which starts enjoyable, but eventually becomes a burden.
My Thread:The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:)

I'm not a slow learner, I'm just quick to forget" - Eli Nash

A bit of honesty and less over confidence might help me - Imperfection

Re: Replacing Addictive Behavriors 12 Nov 2019 23:48 #345095

  • Hakolhevel
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ribnitzer wrote on 11 Nov 2019 19:20:
The minute that I was near a computer and got either bored or stressed, my initial gut reaction would be to "escape" into a porn site.

Eventually, when I setup filters, I still had this need/tendency to escape during stressful/boring moments while online.

I replaced searching for porn related Items, with searching for something else that I enjoyed/was interested in.

Eventually, I began an addiction with looking at Israel news. To this day, whenever I have a stressful moment, i begin switching through different israel news websites-obsessively..
Find something you enjoy reading about thats kosher, and flip to that obsessively instead of porn.

The next tip i would give is, eliminate all "legitimate" sites that have lusty articles. For a while I would visit "foxnews.com" as a legitimate reputable news outlet. However, very often they have articles, that are "gateway drugs to pornography" like articles  about teachers that had relations with students, or famous actors that become "porn stars" These entertainment news articles are basically equivalent to pornography because they pique your curiosity.. 

Even though to most people foxnews seems kosher enough, I have eliminated it from list of sites that I visit,because I know where it could lead.

I love what you say about gateway sites. Sadly, even non gateway sites seem to put links at the bottom of each page, with links to gateway articles at other sites.

They must know my browsing history
My Thread:The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:)

I'm not a slow learner, I'm just quick to forget" - Eli Nash

A bit of honesty and less over confidence might help me - Imperfection

Re: Replacing Addictive Behavriors 03 Dec 2019 08:07 #345683

  • Hazaq
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Dovid824 wrote on 12 Nov 2019 22:59:
What about becoming addicted to Torah study, or keeping your house clean and tidy?


I would rather develop a spending addiction of sfarim and Torah study, (I love collecting and learning brand new sfarim - esp. with that new page smell) and eliminate my expensive porn addiction any day.

H

Re: Replacing Addictive Behavriors 30 Dec 2019 21:52 #346404

  • DavidT
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How about becoming addicted to GYE...
Read posts, reply to posts, chat with good partners, and let the other addictions evaporate! 
"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? But if I am only for myself, who am I? If not now, when?"
feel free to reach out @  ahavayirah@gmail.com
Last Edit: 30 Dec 2019 21:52 by DavidT.

Re: Replacing Addictive Behavriors 31 Dec 2019 04:30 #346411

  • Hakolhevel
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DavidT wrote on 30 Dec 2019 21:52:
How about becoming addicted to GYE...
Read posts, reply to posts, chat with good partners, and let the other addictions evaporate! 

It doesn't work for me, because gye is also an escape. For me the hard work is learning how to live my real life. 

Gye is great, but as a tool to learn and keep me focused and connected. To much though had never worked for me.

Just my personal experience. As they say on dansdeals YMMV
My Thread:The Road To Being Honest With Myself (and others:)

I'm not a slow learner, I'm just quick to forget" - Eli Nash

A bit of honesty and less over confidence might help me - Imperfection

Re: Replacing Addictive Behavriors 31 Dec 2019 14:59 #346419

  • DavidT
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Hakolhevel wrote on 31 Dec 2019 04:30:

DavidT wrote on 30 Dec 2019 21:52:
How about becoming addicted to GYE...
Read posts, reply to posts, chat with good partners, and let the other addictions evaporate! 

It doesn't work for me, because gye is also an escape. For me the hard work is learning how to live my real life. 

Gye is great, but as a tool to learn and keep me focused and connected. To much though had never worked for me.

Just my personal experience. As they say on dansdeals YMMV

I agree. The main focus should always be on our-self. There are many good things (like GYE) that can be used as tools to get to our goal but we should never forget the real focus which is identifying our issues and working on them. 
"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? But if I am only for myself, who am I? If not now, when?"
feel free to reach out @  ahavayirah@gmail.com
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