This is based on a commentary found on www tora us fm
4:21 Let them not depart from your eyes; guard them within your heart
כא אַל יַלִּיזוּ מֵעֵינֶיךָ שָׁמְרֵם בְּתוֹךְ לְבָבֶךָ:
Don’t divert your eyes (don’t incline them to one side) , keep them (remember my words) in your heart.
Why are the eyes preceded by the heart ? Mishna Shabbat 7.
There are two kinds of forgetfulness: forgetting the essence and forgetting the details. As an example lets take the Sabbath.
There are people who forget the essence , the principal aspect of the law, for example, they forget the meaning of the Sabbath day;
There are people who remember the essence of the law, but they forget specific details, for example they forget that it is Saturday today or they forget that a particular action is prohibited on Saturday (although they know that Saturday is a very special day).
According to Jewish law, the sentence for the latter forgetfulness (of the specific details) is more serious! One who forgets the essence of the law, and does many prohibited actions on many Sabbaths, only has to bring one sin offering, when he remembers . But those who remember the essence (the meaning of the Sabbath Day) but forget the specific details, resulting in many forbidden actions over many Sabbaths, have to bring an offering for each deed and each Shabbat. (See Mishna Sabbath 7). Those that remember the essence have to be careful to put the specific details straight before their eyes, so as not to forget them.
This is why the verse precedes forgetting the specific details to forgetting the essential : first of all don’t let your eyes depart (from my words)- check to see in what specific case you are in with regards to the essential, then keep (my words) in your heart - Remember the essential thing in your heart (by Rabbi Yonah Gerondi ).
A similar idea is found in the words of King David, the book of Proverbs,
19:13 Who understands errors? Cleanse me of hidden [sins].
He declares that he is careful to keep the Torah, and asks G-d to guard him from both types of forgetfulness - errors (where you forget the essence) and hidden sins (where one forgets the specific details(
My comments:
A person that does not guard his eyes from seeing women cannot treat them with the proper respect and care. He does not have the ability to properly care for the significant women in his life. He is weak in matters of fidelity, vulgarity, other women, masturbation. All this even though he knows firmly in his heart that these things are forbidden and wrong.
Promo causes a situation where a person acts against what he his heart knows to be true. According to the verse, this is more serious than forgetting that it is true. Promography = Promotions that others present to promote their own agenda (so why waste your time?).
Of course we all know that most people do not look at immodest internet out of complete free choice. They are compelled to do so by the great force of temptations in the world. But to make peace with the situation and to not try to get out of it will not lead to good.
Don’t forget that the pain and sacrifice you pay for leaving this is well repaid. All the problems caused by this are slowly resolved and deep inside you find your better self .
The relationships that suffered because of this are repaired.
Your attitude towards significant women is totally renewed.
All the losses of opportunity this causes are removed.
All the blockages of mind and heart are slowly lifted.
This cannot be done purely by force of will, because temptation is a very strong force that can overcome you, no matter how good your intentions are. There is a phrase in the Talmud that explains the best way to escape this terrible habit:
Talmud Kidushin 30b. Even so did the Holy One, blessed be He, speak unto Israel: ‘My children! I created the Evil Desire, but I [also] created the Torah, as its antidote; if you occupy yourselves with the Torah, you will not be delivered into his hand."
Daily Torah study for a set amount of time (I study for about 3 hours daily) has the capacity to pull you out of this and keep you out. As the Talmud says: "you will not be delivered into his hand"
Out of first hand experience and caring for fellow Jews, I urge you to try to away from promography. I can tell you it is more dangerous than it seems to you right now. Although it might be difficult to leave , once you’ve done it , you've done it ; like running a difficult track. The benefits and rewards attained are then yours forever.
Some of the ways in which Torah study helps:
It elevates the mind above this lowly foolishness
It makes you wise and aware of techniques of how to escape this
It makes you aware of the seriousness of the problem
It provides you with a substitute to this "escape", escape into Torah instead!
