kavey wrote on 14 Aug 2025 15:18:
What makes it miserable and how that leads to porn
Feelings of inadequacy, not belonging, being the fifth wheel (or the fourth of a tricycle), not good enough, not man enough, undesirable, persona non grata.
And then some.
These aren't feelings per se, they're judgements. Judgements that ruled my self-image up until not too long ago. I've been working on them for a while, and am BH making progress (and I'm grateful for that), but yesterday was a doozy.
As for the question about the relation between this and porn, fantasy, intensified by masturbation, has been my go-to numbing agent since I was around 6-7 years old. Hence, a carefully selected porn video, which resembles the fantasy I created to feel an artificial sense of self-worth, is the perfect vehicle.
Shtimt?
Warning: Spoiler!Of course shtimt!
- Hodel (maybe)