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TOPIC: The Real Me 23704 Views

Re: The Real Me 05 Jun 2025 15:21 #436946

  • iwantlife
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What a great vort! What a great Rebbi!!
"Believe you can and you're halfway there" - Theodore Roosevelt
"Comparison is the thief of joy" - also Theodore Roosevelt

Feel free to email me at iwantlifegye@proton.me or call/text ‪(347) 948-6542‬ (Google Voice)

Re: The Real Me 08 Jun 2025 20:36 #437061

  • eerie
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proudyungerman wrote on 05 Jun 2025 13:45:
I want to share a vort that my Rebbi told me that has given me tremendous chizuk.
(*When I was in yeshiva, I opened up to him about my struggles with masterbation but I could not even consider opening up to him about anything more than that...)

In this weeks Parsha is the Parsha of the Sotah.
This lady is clearly strugglin' and is not responding appropriately. She was hangin' out with a strange man, and things were bad enpugh that her husband officially warned her to stay away from this man. 
Yet, she ignores the warning and not only continues talkin' and hangin' out, she goes and secludes herself with him! From bad to worse!

And yet, the Torah says very clearly that if she stayed clean, and wasn't מזנה, not only is her life spared, but ונקתה ונזרעה זרע.
היתכן?!?!?!?!
She went ahead and put herself in a dreadful situation that was totally of her own doing and yet she gets this reward of having a child if she didn't stray.

My Rebbi explained that the pshat is that at the end of the day, she was in a situation worthy of despair and, through some perhaps unknown strength, she came out on top. That is the key to unlock the promise of ונקתה ונזרעה זרע.
Defeatin' the YH, even of one's own creation is worthy of tremendous שכר.

This has given me a lot of chizuk over the years, as I have had ups and downs on my personal journey.
(He also added another שלב that was helpful, maybe for another time.)


*Hard to believe that it's been a year since this letter was delivered into my Rebbi's mailbox. Lots has happened since then, BH...

Waiting to hear the next shlav...

BTW, I found the vort your rebbe said, in Shvivei Lev, in the back of the Lev Eliyahu chelek 1, ois קי
Feel free to say hi. My email is 1gimpelovitz@gmail.com

Re: The Real Me 11 Jun 2025 18:56 #437234

  • proudyungerman
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Over the last little while a few different things happened that awakened old tendencies inside of me. I started becomin' much less comfortable with myself then I have been in a (relatively) long time, and I started feeling the pressures from old comin' back.
That's not a good a good place to be headin', although I am not worried about it headin' there right now.

It was botherin' me a bit and I have spent some time thinkin' about it. 
One nice thing was the realization that I am ok with not bein' ok with myself - because it will pass, bez"H with time and work.

Glad I have this space here to say this.
Feel free to reach out and say hi!
proudyungerman@gmail.com
406-219-8398

My Journey:
guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/406231-The-Real-Me

Re: The Real Me 12 Jun 2025 16:51 #437282

  • chaimoigen
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proudyungerman wrote on 11 Jun 2025 18:56:
Over the last little while a few different things happened that awakened old tendencies inside of me. I started becomin' much less comfortable with myself then I have been in a (relatively) long time, and I started feeling the pressures from old comin' back.
That's not a good a good place to be headin', although I am not worried about it headin' there right now.

It was botherin' me a bit and I have spent some time thinkin' about it. 
One nice thing was the realization that I am ok with not bein' ok with myself - because it will pass, bez"H with time and work.

Glad I have this space here to say this.

This is a powerful post and I have what to learn from you, friend. 

Here’s a warm hand, and an admiring hug, all the way to Burma! 

I just want to accentuate the words highlighted above. So many of our struggles are rooted in the fact that we are not comfortable with ourselves, so many times.

And unfortunately we have habituated ourselves in the past to seek escape/ comfort/ numbing/ reprieve/ respite/ succor/ etc from sweet, smutty garbage…
But when we are blessed to realize what’s going on, (and when we come to feel how the stuff doesn’t fill the aching in our hearts and souls anyways), and when and if we can learn how to face the inevitable ups and downs in our own selves with fortitude and faith, and a little compassion, the world is a brighter place. 

Thanks for being a bright spot! 

I am,

משומרים לבוקר, איש החפץ חיים

Please feel free to reach out anytime at chaim.oigen@gmail.com

Perhaps you'd enjoy seeing Chaim's Oigen
Last Edit: 12 Jun 2025 16:53 by chaimoigen.

Re: The Real Me 30 Jun 2025 02:58 #438106

  • proudyungerman
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Day 529

My שמירת עינים has been all over the place recently. I need to find a way to get it back under control. The double whammy of the summer attire (or lack thereof...) and me feelin' very stressed and unsettled hasn't been the best combo for me. (That's besides losing my second seder chavrusa...) (there may be one other factor over here that is havin' an impact but I'm not totally sure...)

I feel like I need a good chazara of the basic ideas of what intimacy is and isn't and that women are not sex toys and shouldn't be viewed or enjoyed, rather treated with the respect of anther human being.

Even when they dress in ways that may seem to indicate otherwise, generally they are not interested in being viewed as pieces of flesh who are simply here to look at to my hearts desire.

I should think about (and verbalize to myself?) these ideas every day for the next week or so...

(It always helps me to type these things out, thanks for listening!!)
Feel free to reach out and say hi!
proudyungerman@gmail.com
406-219-8398

My Journey:
guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/406231-The-Real-Me

Re: The Real Me 30 Jun 2025 05:12 #438119

  • rebakiva
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proudyungerman wrote on 30 Jun 2025 02:58:
Day 529

My שמירת עינים has been all over the place recently. I need to find a way to get it back under control. The double whammy of the summer attire (or lack thereof...) and me feelin' very stressed and unsettled hasn't been the best combo for me. (That's besides losing my second seder chavrusa...) (there may be one other factor over here that is havin' an impact but I'm not totally sure...)



IMHO I think it's that other factor that is havin' the impact...
Just one persons opinion..., maybe the dark Lord will have a better explanation, who knows 
Talking with someone, is not about getting advice, it's about frienship, accountability & distraction;

Please feel free to contact me at 347-494-0430 {google voice} at any time or; 
PM me at mevakesh247@gmail.com

Check out My story here:  My strategy is to fight it with excitment ביחד ננצח

Re: The Real Me 30 Jun 2025 08:41 #438121

  • upanddown
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This thread may be of some help. Incl a Tefillah from BenHashemBH.
Keep strong!! We're in this together!!
My favourite resources:
1. "זאת בריתי". hebrewbooks.org/56572 (PM me for a sharper version)
2. "שערי גדולה". hebrewbooks.org/48344
3.  guardyoureyes.com/ebooks/item/the-battle-of-the-generation

My journey: Emunah struggles, Celebrating a fall, I'm fed up(main thread), I'm drowning, Tips for Shmiras Einayim.

Re: The Real Me 02 Jul 2025 12:39 #438322

  • BenHashemBH
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You might like to see the title of today's Vayimaen message from R' Shimon Gruen
https://www.torahanytime.com/lectures/378875
Today is yesterday's tomorrow.
The yetzarim a person has the most trouble dealing with are his most powerful God-given tools for developing his potential and achieving shleimus.
It doesn't matter how big the number is, only that today it is going up by one.
There is no "just" when it comes to lust.

Please feel free to reach out. I'd appreciate connecting with you (via GYE, email, or phone - whatever floats your boat)
A little about me: guardyoureyes.com/forum/19-Introduce-Yourself/412971-I-Want-to-Help-Others
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