Dear ChaimOigen,

Yes, smart people can do stupid things, and not smart people continue doing stupid things. Kudos to you for stopping here and for posting - it's very courageous of you! 

My heart is with you and I'm sorry for the tough period you are experiencing. You are a strong person, you have the strength to do this! Keep Plowing!

Here's a warm hand,
Heels'

Dear R' chaim, for me personally you admitting to your struggles after a full year clean, is very inspiring for 2 reasons. 



1. It's a reminder that even the best of the best struggle even after being clean for a year, which is a very good feeling for us the regular people to know that, not only are we not alone, but we're here together with the best of the best.



2. It's a reminder never to start getting to comfortable with yourself, just remember that the YH has a lot of patience, he'll let us become comfortable with our selves, then he'll slowly send one moderate link at a time, till he knocks us back out.



KOMT!!!

With love and admiration Akiva 

Sorry something's wrong will try to fix it later.

R Chaim Ogen,

I do not think we ever communicated (I would love if that changes) but I must say how inspired I am that you admit on the forum for any misstep you may have taken. Considering how far ahead of many of us you are, it is a strong reminder that we must always be vigilant. You are such an inspiration to me, just by this simple post! Thank you

chaimoigen wrote on 26 Nov 2024 17:04:

There's been a discussion in the past on this thread about when we have wins and post about them. People were saying that our motivation to win is the fact that we will be able to post afterward. When seeing R' Chaim's post today we clearly see how real of a person he is. (I don't mean to give a haskama to him, someone who clearly doesn't need one. But the points is there.)

Harav Chaim
This is truly amazing.

Thank you for this inspiring post. It really highlights the need to be constanly vigilant, the very important fact that we are normal people, and as far as we have come we still live on this earth.
The need to stop! and move on.

We all need this chizuk.
Keep in the air man!

A Dialogue
Re-created in the finest Carrolian verse

All in the darkest moonlit night
Full truckingly we glide;
For both our oars, with little skill,
By weakest arms are plied,
While endless words make vain pretense
Our wanderings to guide

Speak gently! Love doth whisper low
The vows that true hearts bind;
And gently Friendship’s accents flow;
Affection’s voice is kind.

Fine time has come,' the posters said,
To talk of many things:
Of clothes — and drinks — and sealing-wax —
Of turkeys, slugs, and kings

I weep for you,' the Wizard said:
I deeply sympathize.'
With sobs and tears he typed out
words cut just to size,
Waving 'round his long white beard
To dry his streaming eyes.

I’ll tell thee everything I can:
There’s little that went far.
I saw an aged wise man,
A-sitting in my car.
“How are you, aged man?” I said.
“And how is it you live?”
And his answer burnt through my head,
Like fire through a sieve.

Oh GYE chavers,” quoth Shëm, “draw near!
‘Twas an honour to see you, a favour to hear:
‘Twas a privilege high to talk and to drink
Along with R' CO (you next, I think!")


Anyway, out of time and Alice in Wonderland poems to chop up. But it was a pleasure to meet you!

Motzei Chanukah 5785

I’ve been away on my own for the 8 days of light,
And went trucking alone in some weird kind of flight,
Twas different, to be disconnected from here
But I needed to see if the bonds couldn’t tear. 

I’d been getting sucked in to a vortex at times,
With angst and with drama - emotional climbs, 
So I left my soapbox in the dust for a while, 
And added my rhetoric and rhymes to the pile.
And for a while I only kept strict company
With the me who has no alter-identity. 

Yet ingrained in my essence is all that I’ve gained, 
So engraved on my heart is the gift of this name, 
And I realized deep down, to my own soul’s sight, 
Chaimoigen’s my name too, it feels true and right.

So I’ll try to be more judicious in my use of this space, 
But I cannot and dare not let go of this place, 
On this ladder to Heaven, I’ll continue to climb, 
Being Mosif Viholeich past Day 599!

I am,
so, so thankfully, 
             chaimoigen 

Buddy, you do not have a choice. You leave and there will be a GYE demonstration outside your home. Placards, guys laying down in front of your car, chants, maybe even eggs flying.... Anyway, honestly nobody has the slightest hava amina that you are moving on; you just needed a good excuse to share an exceptional poem again....

Had to spend some time in a pretty low-class mall on Friday, to accompany someone on an errand that brought me no joy. I was struggling to keep a positive demeanour, while feeling a lot of pain inside.
I was surrounded by sleazy advertisements two stories high, with inappropriate pictures in every direction.
Thankfully, you guys were with me. So I put up a mental wall around me and BH managed to come out pretty much unsullied. A bright spot in a grey day. Nice way to go into Parshas Para.  
Thanks, Chevra.

❤️

chaimoigen wrote on 23 Mar 2025 04:17:

Love it! No, not the fact that you were successful. I wouldn't think otherwise. The fact that you at your stage, aren't afraid to publicly admit that you need us. Brothers, there's strength in vulnerability, and humility in the realization that some challenges cannot be overcome alone.

A lot of people Don't realize that the mitzvas weren't given for 40 or 90 or any other number of days at a time, it's not that you either stop doing something for an X amount of days or you lose everything,



meaning there's a big movement that everything in Yiddishkeit needs to be done for 40 days in a row in order for it to be recognized as something done, and that makes people think that if I fall through in-between 40 days then I lose everything I have on worked until now.



But you have to realize that if you kept strong for 10 days and then you fell through, the past 10 days didn't just go away, you're still getting S'char for the 10 days you did keep strong, hashem doesn't look at 40 day charts, he looks at every day as its own, and every single day you keep strong even if you fall through the next day, every day is a struggle for itself and so is every day a win for itself.



So, remember to never forget the days you didn't fall through, the days you did keep strong, and celebrate your wins because nobody can ever take that away from you. and never stop trying because a strong day is yours forever!!!



Have a wonderful week!!

chaimoigen wrote on 23 Mar 2025 04:17:

R' Chaim, your honesty is most refreshing. If nothing else, it reminds me of the need to be honest with myself. Turns out I'm the easiest person to fool. 

chaimoigen wrote on 23 Mar 2025 04:17:

Honesty, courage.. love it! Wishing for myself to be able to emulate you - one day.

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